Well last night was a smash
Tammi is pissed to the extreme at me. I spent the night in a garage. And now I have to spend the day with my mom. Which isn't so bad right now cuz she cant talk much. She just got back from the dentist. I want to die. Death seems fun. Well this whole me being happy just cant work. Cuz just as I finally start to enjoy my summer and get happy cuz I have an awesome girl...Timmy throws it in my face and makes me feel guilty. Like I don't deserve to be happy. Maybe I don't. I will kill him. Seriously! He was being real cool all summer then he gets jelious because he cant get a guy and I am happy. This is why I need my Drooly. She would want me to be happy ahhh enough of this self loathing. I killed a goose. COMPLETELY BY ACCIDENT!!!! I was hitting geese in the ass with a glass cup and my horrible aim I threw one too high and hit it in the head. The irony of this incident haunts me. AHHHHHH.... I got a bra for my car. Julie knows that cuz I got it while you were still here right. I went to visit Mycah yesterday at work but she wasn't working at the barnes and noble starbucks. So POO on you. At least I tried right. Cuz Mycah never comes to my work. Speaking of which I don't have too work today. HOORAYYYYYY. I have talken the last of my anti depressants. I am getting to be free of them because I have beaten the system. I tricked them into believing that I am not a suicidal threat. Oh I am. I wanna die more and more each day. "The sweet release of death comes smoothly to me in my dreams and I embrassed it continuously." that is my personal quote of the day. This is actually longer that most yay. Work sucks. I don't wanna be there anymore. But I need money so I work when I have to. And if someone calls me in to see if I can work I fake sleeping lol. I was reading my old entries the other day and I read the one about Mandy Moore. And that reminded me that she is HOT lol. I just had to throw that in. I don't know if I have anything else to say so I will just write a poem about timmy on here that I wrote the other night.
Timmy,
I have a friend who is lost inside
This world of ours controlls him
His feelings are untamed and undenied
Pain is trapped you can see in on his mind
Read him like a book it's true
Why doesn't anyone care what he is thinking
Or what made him laugh today
I do, I try to listen but his words just murge together
Hearts don't bleed for this young soul
The world hasn't opened for him
I wait for the day he is shown this light
Walled in a corner slammed by the rest of us
So I wrote this for someone:
Now the world is changing its face
I've tripped and stumbled now lost in place
People are making life into a race
Their testosterone builds when they wax their cars
Looking back to realize they had no heart
Some brilliant minds are locked behind bars
And people throw love right out the window
So they can fuck and impregate women
You cant afford a kid let alone her own
You walk down the street seeing women on a shelf
Ask one day what they wanted for themselves
The wanted crank and cocaine and didn't know of anything else
But the minors we're raising arn't growing up properly
Running the streets naked never on their property
Earn a decent living cuz you're not feeding them probably
And as tears fall from your eye
Your past hits you from behind
Lay your head down as you start to die
Timmy,
I have a friend who is lost inside
This world of ours controlls him
His feelings are untamed and undenied
Pain is trapped you can see in on his mind
Read him like a book it's true
Why doesn't anyone care what he is thinking
Or what made him laugh today
I do, I try to listen but his words just murge together
Hearts don't bleed for this young soul
The world hasn't opened for him
I wait for the day he is shown this light
Walled in a corner slammed by the rest of us
So I wrote this for someone:
Now the world is changing its face
I've tripped and stumbled now lost in place
People are making life into a race
Their testosterone builds when they wax their cars
Looking back to realize they had no heart
Some brilliant minds are locked behind bars
And people throw love right out the window
So they can fuck and impregate women
You cant afford a kid let alone her own
You walk down the street seeing women on a shelf
Ask one day what they wanted for themselves
The wanted crank and cocaine and didn't know of anything else
But the minors we're raising arn't growing up properly
Running the streets naked never on their property
Earn a decent living cuz you're not feeding them probably
And as tears fall from your eye
Your past hits you from behind
Lay your head down as you start to die