If You Can't Hold Yourself Together, Why Should I Hold You Now?
Hey.
CD sales are going alright.
If you haven't gotten one yet, you should. Nobody seems to be hating them too much. Unless they're just being nice, of course ;) but there are quite a few people who have listened to them who have no reason just to be nice to me about them and still think they're pretty good. So, yeah.
Um, everyone asks what genre it is, and the answer is, not really any.
Rock, I guess.
Some soft, some less soft, some really soft, some with lots of distortion and loud drums.
I'm going to start working on my next songs I think.
Well, maybe I should learn/rewrite for acoustic the ones I have done already.
I dunno.
Some girls sat over by the other tree (not mine, the other one by mine) today, and a couple of them looked at me once or twice, which made me think a lot about life and the female psyche and inter and intrapersonal morale.
And I realized the existentialists were right.
Life really is a meaningless struggle against meaninglessness.
Let's all write absurdist, minimalist dramas instead of interacting with members of the opposite sex.
It's so very much easier.
Samuel Beckett and Albert Camus had the right ideas.
But then, so did Nietzsche, and look where it got him.
(Insert picture of a crazy man imitating a duck here)
Man, I feel so intellectual right now.
Like half of the people who read this won't understand it and the other half will think I'm an idiot and argue about some arbitrary "point" I've made for the sake of competition.
Pseudo-intellectualism at it's finest: arguing for the sake of argument.
Save your fingers.
I don't care what you think.
I'm so apathetic, I don't even care what I think.
I suppose I don't really care about much.
That's why I'm hardly ever stressed.
Except when driving down S Florida.
Because daaang can people not drive or what?!
I witnessed three near accidents on my way to work today.
And I was only driving on the road for a mile or so.
Good gosh.
I've got all the right answers, but you're asking the wrong questions!
I was singing while doing trash again tonight.
Man, was it pretty out.
You're an angel in the night but the sun is coming up...
I told Brenda about stuff. She said I wasn't self-confident enough.
And I guess I'm not.
Especially when I start to like someone.
I try too hard, I guess.
Maybe someday I'll actually be able to be myself.
And not try to play mind games with people.
That's all it is, after all.
Yes, some guys really do think they're the center of the universe and the big man on campus and whatnot... but I'm not really one of them.
Sure, I'm arrogant and egotistical, and care virtually nothing for anyone else, don't get me wrong.
But I'm not pushy about it.
I just... I dunno.
People bore me, to be honest.
I'm not saying I don't like having friends or whatever, but pretty much everyone talks about pretty much all the same boring crap pretty much all the time.
I do it, too.
I'm obsessed with two groups of things to talk about... music and girls.
Yeah, I'm a teenager, congratulations for that stunning deduction.
Once the conversation leaves one of those two topics, my communication is pretty much dead.
I can be stupid and dorky and whatnot or philosophical/intellectual-esque...
But don't ask me to talk to you about your computers, or cars, or sports.
Because frankly, I don't give a crap.
I don't know anything about them because I never have wanted to know anything about them, and if you ask me about something and I don't know anything about it, and it doesn't fall under girls or music, there's a very good chance I don't know it because I don't want to.
^^(Those are some of the things I think at people when I'm not paying attention to what they say, usually phrased as "Oh great, again with the _________. I don't care!" or some variation)
So yeah, I'm pretty much a butthole.
Oh well. There are worse things to be.
Like stupid.
Or political.
Not that they aren't the same thing in the end anyway...
You know, since I'm always going off about how preps and scene kids are the same in a different color, I might as well tell you about how liberals and conservatives are the same in a different color.
Oh, I just did. Nevermind.
It's funny how I approach things like today with no enthusiasm at all anymore.
A few months ago I would have been all over it.
And then I would have been shot down.
Now I know I'm going to get shot down so I don't bother trying.
Which is much more efficient.
I can knock out 5 a day if I don't try.
If she wants to talk to me she can come tell me that herself.
Maybe I should have put my name on the candy gram.
Oh well.
It's weird to get one from someone you don't know, isn't it?
This is the part where I whine about stuff.
And now it's over.
I'll leave you with some wisdom.
Life sucks but at least it ends.
Edit: Convo with Jay.
Gaspy Conana: preps ugh
Gaspy Conana: define prep
Cyathus Amongus: i love how I can be vague and still say so much
Cyathus Amongus: because i jump to a different topic every five seconds
Gaspy Conana: yes it's confusing
Cyathus Amongus: preps are conformists
Cyathus Amongus: who think they're better than nonconformists
Gaspy Conana: EVERYONE IS GH
Cyathus Amongus: because they conform
Cyathus Amongus: however, nonconformists are really conformists in disguise
Cyathus Amongus: which means they're both shallow AND hypocritical
Cyathus Amongus: the only good thing to be is dead
Gaspy Conana: ahhh mt brain is gnnna exploued
Cyathus Amongus: that's your safest bet
Cyathus Amongus: lolll
Gaspy Conana: nahh you could be like me
Cyathus Amongus: dead?
Gaspy Conana: thats a pretty good option
Gaspy Conana: no to be like me instead of dead
Gaspy Conana: am i a conformist or a non conformist?
Cyathus Amongus: i dunno
Cyathus Amongus: i thought you were dead
Gaspy Conana: me neither
Gaspy Conana: oh uhh
Gaspy Conana: no i dont think so
I've got all the perfect answers-
You're just asking the wrong questions