Shivers
I felt a small shiver crawl up my spine. Another one joined after the first…and after that another, and yet another followed. It was sort of like a non-stop feeling of coolness, as if a thrust of cold wind had unexpectedly appeared through the warmth of the night. It was only my body that felt it. The thoughts that ran through my head were to blame for my continuous chills. It’s weird how a mental action can create a physical reaction.
I was thinking about Cliff and his unfortunate and rather unfair death. I kept thinking how it feels to lose someone because of someone else’s completely avoidable mistake…or was it even a mistake? Why is it that because of someone’s foolish actions, someone else has to die? Innocent Cliff Cole killed by a drunk driver. Killed for no good reason known to man. Killed to show yet another idiotic kid that life is too precious to just throw away with decisions like the one he made. Well, he threw away someone else’s life. And he still has his.
But as much as I want to say that he deserved to die instead of Cliff, I can’t bring myself to do it. We’re sent here to accomplish something in life. Some lives are longer than others…some lives are better, some worse. Some are richer, some are poorer. Cliff was put on Earth and then shortly taken away for reasons that I or anyone else can comprehend.
The shivers continued…I was driving. Although I didn’t witness the accident I could feel it. The crash…everything. I could hear the noise of the cars with an extreme amount of force crashing into each other, windows suddenly shuttering. I felt pain…a pain that only caused me to think more about drunk drivers and less about Cliff. I couldn’t take it any more. The pain, the shivers, it all had to stop. I tried to stop thinking about the whole mess. About Cliff not being here, about the audacity those brainless drivers think they have when under the influence.
I had an urge to call my sister and my friends to make sure that they were safe. Then I started wishing I was home that second, instead of on the road…a place that keeps untamed machines out as if they were in the wild. I couldn’t help but to think that I could be next…that all of the sudden a car would crash into me.
I felt another shiver, yet this time it ran through my whole body. I felt a salty tear run down my cheek and then touch my lips. That’s when I realized Cliff was gone.
I know that living scared won’t help me in life. But how could you not be scared after innocence was killed by stupidity. All I know is that I can’t live scared. I’m not going to lie, of course I’m scared, but for some reason, I’m still here…on Earth…ready to face new challenges, overcome fears, and most importantly remember those who’s paths were not as long as mine. I will take it to heart, that I must fully appreciate every moment in life and not waste one bit of it.
The last shiver…somehow indicating that I was safe. I felt OK. Another tear…and then a smile. Everything was going to be fine. Life is still living. I’m still living…not wasting any moment. Hating, but fully appreciating life’s mysterious wonders.
Life brings sweetness and sorrows and everything in between…
I was thinking about Cliff and his unfortunate and rather unfair death. I kept thinking how it feels to lose someone because of someone else’s completely avoidable mistake…or was it even a mistake? Why is it that because of someone’s foolish actions, someone else has to die? Innocent Cliff Cole killed by a drunk driver. Killed for no good reason known to man. Killed to show yet another idiotic kid that life is too precious to just throw away with decisions like the one he made. Well, he threw away someone else’s life. And he still has his.
But as much as I want to say that he deserved to die instead of Cliff, I can’t bring myself to do it. We’re sent here to accomplish something in life. Some lives are longer than others…some lives are better, some worse. Some are richer, some are poorer. Cliff was put on Earth and then shortly taken away for reasons that I or anyone else can comprehend.
The shivers continued…I was driving. Although I didn’t witness the accident I could feel it. The crash…everything. I could hear the noise of the cars with an extreme amount of force crashing into each other, windows suddenly shuttering. I felt pain…a pain that only caused me to think more about drunk drivers and less about Cliff. I couldn’t take it any more. The pain, the shivers, it all had to stop. I tried to stop thinking about the whole mess. About Cliff not being here, about the audacity those brainless drivers think they have when under the influence.
I had an urge to call my sister and my friends to make sure that they were safe. Then I started wishing I was home that second, instead of on the road…a place that keeps untamed machines out as if they were in the wild. I couldn’t help but to think that I could be next…that all of the sudden a car would crash into me.
I felt another shiver, yet this time it ran through my whole body. I felt a salty tear run down my cheek and then touch my lips. That’s when I realized Cliff was gone.
I know that living scared won’t help me in life. But how could you not be scared after innocence was killed by stupidity. All I know is that I can’t live scared. I’m not going to lie, of course I’m scared, but for some reason, I’m still here…on Earth…ready to face new challenges, overcome fears, and most importantly remember those who’s paths were not as long as mine. I will take it to heart, that I must fully appreciate every moment in life and not waste one bit of it.
The last shiver…somehow indicating that I was safe. I felt OK. Another tear…and then a smile. Everything was going to be fine. Life is still living. I’m still living…not wasting any moment. Hating, but fully appreciating life’s mysterious wonders.
Life brings sweetness and sorrows and everything in between…