Well, that's that, then.
So the drama with B continues. I was so dreading work today, knowing B would be there.
She greets me with a, "Hi, Pinky!" Pinky being a nickname she made for me when I had pink hair.
I wave at her irritably and keep walking to wherever I had to be at the time. Then she's all, "I still love you!"
: / Oh, thank you so much. I was so worried that you might never forgive me for the horrible crime of being gay. >:[ When I go to send her on her break, I'm a bit irritated. She tries to hug me. WHICH WAS NOT THE RIGHT THING TO DO AT ALL. I nearly struck her.
I say something irritable like, "Oh, don't get to close. I wouldn't want you to throw up or anything."
Then B apologizes saying, "I'm sorry you were offended by what I said last night."
Now I'm conflicted. I'm feeling like, 'Am I supposed to forgive her now? Does it make me the asshole if I don't?' So I just say, "Enjoy your break, B."
Next time we talk I say, "Okay, look. There's no reason for you to apologize for what you said --"
B interjects, "Oh no, not for what I said. I'm sorry you were offended."
So I continue, "All right then. Well, you find homosexuals disgusting and I'm a homosexual. There's no reason for us to continue to be friends."
Then B is all, "Okay! That's fine."
Then another cashier, let's call her D, cuts in, "What's going on?"
I say, "B finds homosexuals disgusting and I'm a homosexual."
B agrees, "I do. I think it's disgusting. I don't agree with the lifestyle. Now, Liz, I don't think you're disgusting..."
I say, "I find that attitude disgusting."
B says, "Okay! All right! And then we move on." I think by 'move on' she meant, 'continue with a professional working relationship'.
But I'm completely ignoring everything she's saying by then. Okay, for one, lifestyle? LIFESTYLE? Oh, fuck off with your "lifestyle". And another thing, I would be fine if she said that it would disgust her to kiss another woman. Or that she had trouble understanding it. Sure. That's fine. That's not what she was saying. She was saying that homosexuality, in and of itself, was the disgusting thing.
I bet D wishes she had never asked. Hmm.
B goes back to her lane, right as rain. Not a care in the world. I'm visibly upset. I don't know. Something about someone using the term "disgusting" about 5 times per sentence to describe me touched a nerve.
D is all, "Well, I love you, Liz." D is pretty awesome.
I'm like, "I just love it. What I am is an insult. I just hate--" then I have guests. I don't know what I was gonna say anyway.
I try to get through the couple hours I have left to my shift, end up crying in the bathroom for a bit. Which bugs me like no other. There I was, crying in the bathroom, and B completely couldn't give a shit. I didn't know it was that easy to turn completely cold to someone.
Then I'm back on lane, where a guest asks me how I am and I all I can do is laugh. But then one of my more perceptive bosses rescues me and has me go zone (uh, organize) G block (grocery) with her.
So I was feeling all right by the time I left.
But now I'm all paranoid. I mean, I don't hide my sexuality, but there are a lot of people who don't know, too. I've got a friend at work, let's call her C, who I'm much closer to than I ever was to B. I don't know what I'd do if it turns out she's anti-gay, too.
She greets me with a, "Hi, Pinky!" Pinky being a nickname she made for me when I had pink hair.
I wave at her irritably and keep walking to wherever I had to be at the time. Then she's all, "I still love you!"
: / Oh, thank you so much. I was so worried that you might never forgive me for the horrible crime of being gay. >:[ When I go to send her on her break, I'm a bit irritated. She tries to hug me. WHICH WAS NOT THE RIGHT THING TO DO AT ALL. I nearly struck her.
I say something irritable like, "Oh, don't get to close. I wouldn't want you to throw up or anything."
Then B apologizes saying, "I'm sorry you were offended by what I said last night."
Now I'm conflicted. I'm feeling like, 'Am I supposed to forgive her now? Does it make me the asshole if I don't?' So I just say, "Enjoy your break, B."
Next time we talk I say, "Okay, look. There's no reason for you to apologize for what you said --"
B interjects, "Oh no, not for what I said. I'm sorry you were offended."
So I continue, "All right then. Well, you find homosexuals disgusting and I'm a homosexual. There's no reason for us to continue to be friends."
Then B is all, "Okay! That's fine."
Then another cashier, let's call her D, cuts in, "What's going on?"
I say, "B finds homosexuals disgusting and I'm a homosexual."
B agrees, "I do. I think it's disgusting. I don't agree with the lifestyle. Now, Liz, I don't think you're disgusting..."
I say, "I find that attitude disgusting."
B says, "Okay! All right! And then we move on." I think by 'move on' she meant, 'continue with a professional working relationship'.
But I'm completely ignoring everything she's saying by then. Okay, for one, lifestyle? LIFESTYLE? Oh, fuck off with your "lifestyle". And another thing, I would be fine if she said that it would disgust her to kiss another woman. Or that she had trouble understanding it. Sure. That's fine. That's not what she was saying. She was saying that homosexuality, in and of itself, was the disgusting thing.
I bet D wishes she had never asked. Hmm.
B goes back to her lane, right as rain. Not a care in the world. I'm visibly upset. I don't know. Something about someone using the term "disgusting" about 5 times per sentence to describe me touched a nerve.
D is all, "Well, I love you, Liz." D is pretty awesome.
I'm like, "I just love it. What I am is an insult. I just hate--" then I have guests. I don't know what I was gonna say anyway.
I try to get through the couple hours I have left to my shift, end up crying in the bathroom for a bit. Which bugs me like no other. There I was, crying in the bathroom, and B completely couldn't give a shit. I didn't know it was that easy to turn completely cold to someone.
Then I'm back on lane, where a guest asks me how I am and I all I can do is laugh. But then one of my more perceptive bosses rescues me and has me go zone (uh, organize) G block (grocery) with her.
So I was feeling all right by the time I left.
But now I'm all paranoid. I mean, I don't hide my sexuality, but there are a lot of people who don't know, too. I've got a friend at work, let's call her C, who I'm much closer to than I ever was to B. I don't know what I'd do if it turns out she's anti-gay, too.