with one fist in the air...
i dont even think i want to think anymore, or that i would even know how to in the same way as i used to. some of that hopelessly-analytical-for-no-apparent-reason part of me is dead, or a least in a coma. sometimes im just too pessimistic (lazy) to keep trying. good thing ive become a master at sedating myself, (my actions, my thought process..) it makes it all just a little closer to acceptable not to think.
something that ive noticed lately is that nothing is, well, clear. lines between acceptable and unacceptable are rapidly becoming blurred...as are the lines between commonly understood expectations and self determination. polar extremes (like right and wrong) are starting to melt together and im defining my own grey area in between them. And those things which are not usually considered questionably are proving themselves to be much more multi faceted (ie, issues like cheating and such). its a good thing though. to define a grey area. yea. when i try and explain this i feel like donnie darko when he finally yells at his teacher for not understanding that human emotions can not simply be simplified into either "fear" or "love". thats what i was talking about with the extremes. there is so much more in between that needs to be...well, thought about. only, i think pretty soon im going to just resort to telling people who wont listen to "forcefully insert the exercise cards into their anus" hahaha. quality movie...
another thing ive noticed about life this week is that its different in that its just turned a different shade. not fuzzier, or sharper...it just...has a different hue than it used to.
one last observation (request/complaint/idea): everything is drowning each other out, and i want to invent something that filters out the monotony. a filter to weed out the layers of sounds and pictures and conversations that just cloud up the water in our lives. you know, the bass, the washing machine, and even those high pitched electronic noises that we are so used to we barely notice them anymore...things that are so subtle, but yet make such an impact when they are gone. maybe it would make things boring, but mostly i think it would just make us all more pure; get rid of the extra thoughts in your head...i want a filter like that.
its been a long time since ive felt the need to get out of this town so badly. i guess its just because everyone is coming back and telling me about about their trips and the amazing things they have experienced recently. im starving for that. i feel so stifled. i really am just so thirsty for something new and beautiful.
[just gimme a scene where the music is free
and the beer is not the life of the party
theres no need to shit talk or impress
cus honesty and emotion are not looked down upon
And every promise thats made and bragged
is meant if not kept]
at all day breakfast.
at savannahs one night. we broke a table. it was very funny.
at colette’s cup one day…
other random things…
hardcore muchies. haha.
soo...savannah and i are really cool...whats up?
something that ive noticed lately is that nothing is, well, clear. lines between acceptable and unacceptable are rapidly becoming blurred...as are the lines between commonly understood expectations and self determination. polar extremes (like right and wrong) are starting to melt together and im defining my own grey area in between them. And those things which are not usually considered questionably are proving themselves to be much more multi faceted (ie, issues like cheating and such). its a good thing though. to define a grey area. yea. when i try and explain this i feel like donnie darko when he finally yells at his teacher for not understanding that human emotions can not simply be simplified into either "fear" or "love". thats what i was talking about with the extremes. there is so much more in between that needs to be...well, thought about. only, i think pretty soon im going to just resort to telling people who wont listen to "forcefully insert the exercise cards into their anus" hahaha. quality movie...
another thing ive noticed about life this week is that its different in that its just turned a different shade. not fuzzier, or sharper...it just...has a different hue than it used to.
one last observation (request/complaint/idea): everything is drowning each other out, and i want to invent something that filters out the monotony. a filter to weed out the layers of sounds and pictures and conversations that just cloud up the water in our lives. you know, the bass, the washing machine, and even those high pitched electronic noises that we are so used to we barely notice them anymore...things that are so subtle, but yet make such an impact when they are gone. maybe it would make things boring, but mostly i think it would just make us all more pure; get rid of the extra thoughts in your head...i want a filter like that.
its been a long time since ive felt the need to get out of this town so badly. i guess its just because everyone is coming back and telling me about about their trips and the amazing things they have experienced recently. im starving for that. i feel so stifled. i really am just so thirsty for something new and beautiful.
[just gimme a scene where the music is free
and the beer is not the life of the party
theres no need to shit talk or impress
cus honesty and emotion are not looked down upon
And every promise thats made and bragged
is meant if not kept]
at all day breakfast.
at savannahs one night. we broke a table. it was very funny.
at colette’s cup one day…
other random things…
hardcore muchies. haha.
soo...savannah and i are really cool...whats up?