(no subject)
so it happens that when we fight, i walk in upset, he leaves without telling me. doesn't call me, i call him. sure, he apologizes, he says he knows he shouldn't have left, but the point is he left. abandoned the fight, didn't care whether it got worked out or not. they fight, she overreacts and he knows that, she storms off and slams her door and he and i go out to smoke a cigarette. we come back in and he says, i feel like i should go talk to her to make sure everything's okay. what do you think? i shrug my shoulders, i don't know. he says, judgment call? you're not being very helpful. i get up and walk into the bathroom and before i close the door say, i don't really know what to tell you. last time we fought, you left. he begins to protest as i shut him out with the door.
from the bathroom i hear him knock on her door, go in, patch things up. wonder why the fuck he cares if things are immediately patched up with her, when she's the one that overreacted in the first place and he knows it, but he can leave in the middle of an argument we are having with no worry of working it out or how i'm going to feel. i do not for the life of me understand.
i go to bed before he does and fall asleep. he wakes me up when he gets in bed because he isn't tired and wants to talk. i respond to him but stay carefully on my side of the bed. his limbs are sprawled out in my space seeking my body to move closer to his but i don't. instead i lay on my side, my back to him, compact away from his touch. i am almost asleep when he spoons me and i don't scoot closer. wake up a little later with him kissing the back of my neck and for once i don't feel like responding. i am moving toward the place where i cannot care about someone who will not care about me. i can't do this anymore; we will talk and it will be soon, and i will talk and he will listen and he will understand. and things will change or i am giving up.
from the bathroom i hear him knock on her door, go in, patch things up. wonder why the fuck he cares if things are immediately patched up with her, when she's the one that overreacted in the first place and he knows it, but he can leave in the middle of an argument we are having with no worry of working it out or how i'm going to feel. i do not for the life of me understand.
i go to bed before he does and fall asleep. he wakes me up when he gets in bed because he isn't tired and wants to talk. i respond to him but stay carefully on my side of the bed. his limbs are sprawled out in my space seeking my body to move closer to his but i don't. instead i lay on my side, my back to him, compact away from his touch. i am almost asleep when he spoons me and i don't scoot closer. wake up a little later with him kissing the back of my neck and for once i don't feel like responding. i am moving toward the place where i cannot care about someone who will not care about me. i can't do this anymore; we will talk and it will be soon, and i will talk and he will listen and he will understand. and things will change or i am giving up.