Fic: Jabberwocky, Part 20b: Blue Cortina, Sytaxia

[sytaxia]

“So…  Let’s have it.  Can you read them to me?” he asked, and Annie nodded, and started to read the files, Sam occasionally nodding at her as she did so.  Sam’s mind was reeling by the time that two nurses finally made their way into the room: five actual victims, plus Myers himself, the symbol, the statue, the note on the last victim’s

Comments

[saintvic]

Well despite everything Sam seems to be getting better which is just wonderful because you captured him and his dynamic with Annie brilliantly. Am looking forward to seeing him interacting with the team again.

The opening paragraphs were descriptive and disturbing both in the way you showed Sam as being hunted and then them seeing him as a possession - real insight into the situation being portrayed.

[sytaxia]

Thanks very much; I'm glad that the nightmare scenes are effective - I'm always afraid that they're going to end up seeming overblown and silly, so it means a lot to me that you found it disturbing :) And thanks for the compliment on the Sam/Annie dynamic: it's so hard to write Annie! Aargh!

P.S. - I'm trying to finish the entire piece of the Hellblazer crossover before I post it, so that it doesn't end up another WIP with a mind of its own, but I'm definitely plugging away at it now, so hopefully we'll see it up in the comm in a bit...

[saintvic]

Have to say it didn't show that you found it hard to write Annie that section flowed just as much as all the others.

Plus yay for Hellblazer will just be insanely happy when you get time to finish it and am insanely happy you are writing it at all.

*love*

[hambelandjemima]

So, is it Barrie, or isn't it? If it isn't, then what's he nervous about? Hmmm, it gets better and better. It will be interesting to see what effect Denslow will have on Sam.

Also, Gene will be visiting Sam soon? On his own? *g*

Another excellent instalment.

[sytaxia]

Thanks very much, I'm glad you're enjoying it :)

It may very well be Barrie, but then again, that would be too easy... Ray, Chris, and Gene all have their shifts with Sam after they get back from Hyde, and Denslow will be overseeing the trip to radiology for the x-ray and the moving of Sam, so we will definitely get to see Sam interacting with Denslow and the rest of the team soon, followed by that private visit from Gene... *g*

[dorsetgirl]

This just keeps on getting better and better; so much still to be explained. And that nurse is seriously annoying isn't she!

Obviously Sam has been seriously ill, but anyone in hospital tends to feel that helplessness and imprisonment, and you've captured that very well indeed.

And I second Hambel's comment - I'd like to see a private visit from Gene!

[sytaxia]

Thanks! I'm glad that it's still holding your attention, and that you're enjoying it.

Hee, I figured that while Gene's nurse is someone to help balance him out and provide a bit of levity to the situation, there had to be a negative counterpoint to her someone in the hospital, and I thought of all of the most annoying and aggravating nurses I've ever been exposed too, distilled them down, and then lightened her up so she wouldn't be absolutely monstrous, and this was the result. Glad that Sam's reaction to the hospital was effective for you, too, and thanks very much for the reassurance there.

Oh, there will definitely be a private visit from Gene soon - he still has to come back around eight and take Sam's full statement, after all...

[talkingtothesky]

WOW! You sure know how to write creepy, scary dreams don't you! I was shuddering all the way through the start of the first bit...I used to have a lot of nightmares about running through the woods, I'm sure it's quite a common thing so you're really appealing to the reader's sense of fear.

This far in and I still don't have a clue as to where you're going with this. Barrie seems a likely suspect; how long can he legally refuse to give them the prints? Can't they nab him for obstructing the course of justice or something? I'm more confused about the case than Annie and Sam are!

I'm glad to see Sam is starting to get better, and you've described his frustration and embarressment perfectly. Nurses like that need to be spoken to...

I agree with the other comments; more Gene, please! :D Your writing is fantastic and I can't wait to read more of this!

[sytaxia]

Thanks very much! I think you're right about the dreams; I used to have a lot of frightening nightmares about woods and storms when I was little, and it certainly does seem like a recurrent theme in fairytales - I wasn't even thinking of that when I starting writing the nightmares for Sam: good catch, that!

I'm glad that the plot is still twisting enough for you; I keep trying to drop clues that I wouldn't catch myself, if I were reading it :)

And there will definitely be more Gene coming soon.

[space_oddity_75]

I really enjoy your writing, and this fic is getting better and better with each instalment. Can't wait to see what happens next. Bravo!

[sytaxia]

Thanks very much, I'm glad you're enjoying it :)