Fic: Summer holiday
Title: Summer holiday
Author: Moi!
Spoilers: Both seasons
Rating: Green Cortina
Word Count: 2556
Pairings: Chris/Ray & Sam/Gene
Summary: Ray and Chris take a well earned break, all hell breaks loose.
A/N: I asked elfbert to bestow a bunny on me, she did and this is the result, silly fun, as always,lol.
Sun. Sand. Time alone to act like a pair of pooftery girls. Peace. Heaven.
It's the third day of a seven day holiday that they've had planned for nearly a year.
Chris'd been like a Master General going into battle when it came to arranging and organising and refusing to allow Ray the excuses he'd put fourth for not taking time off.
By the time he'd confirmed there little road trip to Blackpool, Chris was practically bouncing.
It'd taken a further 11 months to get themselves sorted enough to come up with excuses for the rest of the station as to why they were having time off together.
Everyone just thought they had extremely bad timing, everyone except Sam and Gene. The Guv and the Boss had spotted exactly what they were up to and called them on it. Gene'd acted hurt for all of ten minutes until Sam'd annoyed him enough for him to admit that, no, he didn't mind the pair of them disappearing off together as long as they soddin' well came back.
So they're strolling along a deserted beach, hand in hand, completely lost in the sound of surf lapping at the shore and loving the fact they don't have to hide themselves away.
It might still be the seventies, might still mean men of a certain persuasion get themselves a beating for doing what they're doing right now but they're happy and they don't give a shit. Not when no one knows them, no one can point the finger or threaten them with exposure.
Ray's having a good time, despite his fairly reasonable arguments about how 'he wouldn't enjoy time away, he'd worry 'bout the Guv and the City'.
Eventually Chris'd lost his rag and Ray'd relented. If only to wipe the sorry, sad puppy look out of his gorgeous eyes. He'd always been a sucker for a good pout. Chris had a great pout.
It's almost sun set and Ray can't help appreciating the way the light plays against Chris's hair, the way his smile is so infectious. It's a right tonic, this. He'd been so sure about not enjoying it, he'd been, not for the first time, wrong.
Ok, so the Guv'd taken the piss, gotten in as many sly comments as possible between the time they'd booked it and the time they'd waved farewell for a week of relaxation.
Something about not sneaking off to Gretna Green and to make sure they sent out invites if the urge took 'em. Cheeky sod. The Guv never ceased to amaze Ray, he'd always been so against 'gays' and anything remotely different. That was until he'd been presented with his two best officers, two best friends being as queer as they came. Then he'd just sat back and smirked, thought up as many cutting remarks as he could but made sure they'd known they had his complete blessing.
Maybe Sam'd had some influence there, him being all having of feelings and whatnot, but at least it meant Ray and Chris could be themselves when they were around their superiors.
He feels himself literally unwinding. Every nerve ending slips and goes limp, his body slumps into the sensations surrounding him and he allows the smell of sea air and the sight of Chris with a knotted polka dot hanky secured around his head, to usher him into the happiest mood he's been in for months.
He lets himself smile, lets himself tug Chris to him and lets himself slide into a kiss that leaves his knees weak and his mind soaring.
Chris makes a surprised noise and then melts into the kiss, allows himself to mold to Ray's curves and enjoys the feeling of contentment at such a public display of affection from someone normally so guarded.
They continue to kiss as the sun goes down, bathing them in a deep magenta light. Somewhere in the back of Chris's mind, he imagines the scene on the front of a postcard, picture perfect never made so much sense.
*
*
*
It's well past 10pm and Chris is completely sloshed. The heady mixture of happiness blended with frilly cocktails has sent him off into a silly place where everything's funny and nothing can bring him down.
Nothing, that is, except the guy sat at the opposite end of the bar, eyeing him and Ray like they've just stolen his wallet.
"What's his problem?"
"Not a clue but leave it yea, no use startin' a fight over nothin' is there?"
"Yea, yea alright"
"Get us another drink"
"Think you've 'ad enough, don't you Christopher?"
Chris allows his eyes to go wide and a pout to form on his lips, knowing Ray'll fold like a deck of cards, he waits for him to cave in.
"Fine, just stop poutin'. You know I can't resist when ya do that, s'unfair"
"Sorry"
Chris looks anything but as Ray motions for the bartender to get another round in.
Ray's opted for his usual whiskey chasers all night yet Chris's been happily devouring anything with an umbrella or a piece of brightly coloured fruit sticking out the top of it.
Ray lost count somewhere around the fifteenth umbrella clad beverage, but Chris doesn't look to be slowing up any time soon so Ray hunkers down and enjoys Chris's expression everytime a new and inventive drink lands in front of him.
Chris's bladder finally protests enough for him to haul himself off his stool and stumble towards the bogs. Ray watches appreciatively as Chris's pert little arse wobbles its way across the bar then turns back to his own drink.
He feels eyes on his back and turns, spots the same bloke still eyeballing him, look of disgust playing across his face.
He attempts to ignore it until Chris almost falls out the loo door and the bloke gets up off his stool, walks towards the still swaying man and pokes him in the chest "Oi, poofter, can't handle yer drink I see"
Ray's up and across the bar in three large strides, sliding himself between the Neanderthal and his other half, shoving Chris behind him and jutting his chin out, defiantly. "Oi, piss off dickhead"
The pissed bloke eyes Ray up and down and smirks. "Owww, the shirt lifters got some balls"
Ray vaguely wonders exactly how this bloke knows about he and Chris but pushes it to the back of his mind when the other bloke slips round Ray's side and smacks Chris in the cheek, causing him to land heavily on his arse, rubbing his face.
Ray's nostrils flare and he feels his temper rise. How fuckin' dare he, how fuckin' dare he touch Chris.
Before Chris's managed to get to his feet, Ray's whirled on the spot and jabbed an elbow into the nameless mans ribs and he crumples in on himself.
Thinking that will end it, Ray offers a hand to Chris who takes it and allows himself to be pulled upright. He's about to say something when his eyes go wide and Ray automatically ducks, feeling the whoosh of air as the bloke barely misses connecting his fist with the back of Ray's skull.
Instead of hitting Ray, he lamps Chris again, who isn't quick enough with the alcohol still swirling round his system, to get out of the way of the punch.
As Ray straightens, he watches Chris fall backwards and hit his head against a table, cracking himself hard enough for Ray to hear the impact, then slumps on the floor, still.
Ray sees red, doesn't even think about it just lifts his leg and buries his foot in the blokes belly, sending him sprawling backwards into a wall. He turns to try and check on Chris when he feels hands grab at his collar and he's yanked backwards.
He's slammed into the wall and a pair of blazing blue eyes are shoved right up close to his face, close enough to make his vision blur, then he feels a fist connect with the side of his head, sending him spinning.
He shakes his head, tries to clear his pounding brain but he doesn't get chance because the Neanderthal has started hitting him anywhere he can find a space. Chest, face, arms.
Ray hollers and pushes forward, setting the man off balance enough for him to bring his forehead down on his nose, spreading it across his face. As blood drips into his eyes, Ray sees Chris stir and feels himself sag with relief.
He's so distracted by Chris's awakening that he doesn't see the five coppers come barreling through the door towards him.
*
*
*
Sam hears the phone go but doesn't have the strength to pull himself away from the warm bed and Gene's comfy frame. Instead he buries his head further into the crook of his DCI's arm and pretends he can't hear it trilling.
He feels Gene stir, the noise stops and the silence is followed by a grunt and Gene struggling to sit up under Sam's weight.
Sam watches, bleary eyed as Gene lifts the handset to his ear "'lo"
"Ur..G..Guv?"
"Shit"
"Guv, what...what you doin' at Sam's place?"
"I..I..."
He covers the mouthpiece with his hand and holds it away from his body like it's a bomb about to go off. Sam eyes him warily then asks "Who is it?"
"S'bloody Chris"
"Oh, ohhh"
Sam can't help it, he giggles. It's the look on Gene's face, priceless, like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Gene continues to wave the phone around in the air above Sam's head until he's got himself under control and takes it from him.
"Hello, Chris?"
"Yea boss, s'me"
"What you doing ringing here at.." Sam checks his watch "2am?"
"It's, well it's...ok, it's Ray he, well he kinda sorta got his'self arrested"
"He what!"
"Yea, an' now I'm sat 'ere in some shitty cop shop in soddin' Blackpool waitin' for 'em to release him. 'Cept they're sayin' they can't. What with him bein' a copper, they needs his superior officer to ok it"
"Righttttt"
"Sam?"
"Yea"
"What's the Guv doin' there?"
"Oh, uh, well, same thing you've been doing at Ray's the past 2 or 3 years"
"Ohh, ok, 'nough said. So, can you 'elp, just don't tell the Guv yea, 'cos he'll go ballistic"
"Gonna be a bit hard Chris, what with him sitting right here"
"Shit!"
"Yea. Hang on, give me the case workers number, I'll call in"
"Thanks boss"
"You owe me"
"I've got a feelin' I'll be payin' for it for a while"
"Uhuh"
Sam grabs a pen and paper from above the bed, ignoring Gene's confused expression, and jots down the police officers extension number then says good bye and hangs up.
Gene's confusion notches up and he continues to stare at Sam, arms crossed over his bare chest, looking like a stern school master, making Sam peel off into another fit of giggles.
When Gene's look threatens bloody retribution if Sam doesn't stop laughing, he sobers, bites his lip and attempts to tell Gene what the phone call was all about.
"Chris..Chris..he..Shit, Ray's been arrested"
He makes it that far before he breaks out into giggles again. Gene's horrified look and sudden jerk make Sam lose it big time and he ends up thumping the bed covers and holding his sides.
"Oi, Gladys, calm down. How the bloody 'ell did that useless twat get himself arrested?"
"Chris didn't say but you can bet it's gonna be something daft. Anyway, gotta ring and ok his release. You wanna do it or should I?"
Gene contemplates him for a second then a huge grin forms on his lips and he motions for the bit of paper Sam's still holding.
Sam forks it over and watches with amusement as Gene dials
"Hello"
"Yea, look, you got one of my officers currently residin' in your cells, wanna tell me what it's all about?"
"Huh, oh right, yea, you must be DI Tyler"
"No, I'm DCI Hunt"
"Ahh, right well, DS Carling got into a fight in a bar"
"Typical, an' what exactly prompted this bare knuckle bout?"
"He, he said that some bloke started pushing his 'friend' around"
"What d'ya mean pushin' and what exactly d'ya mean by that tone of voice mate!"
"Nothing, nothing, it's just kind of obvious that..."
"Don't you bloody dare"
Gene's tone leaves no room for argument and the other officer goes quiet on the end of the line.
Sam watches, eyebrows raised as Gene gets redder and redder in the face. He's just contemplating taking the phone from him when he hears someone say something and then Gene explodes.
"Well, anyway, we can't release DS Carling to his 'friend' without you signing off on it, at least verbally"
"I already told you, cut the tone and stop makin' out like he started this. If I know Ray, he was just defendin' Chris and I'll thank you to keep your bloody obvious observations to yourself you stuck up prick. Release my officer or I'll come up there and wipe that smug tone outta your voice, got it?"
Sam watches, amused as Gene slams the receiver back into it's cradle and goes for the bottle of scotch resting beside the bed.
"Ok, what?"
"Stuck up snot rag, thinks he can go on about one of my officers like that..."
"Calm, so we getting him back or not?"
"Yea, they'll release him now. Wait 'til he gets back down here, I'll kick his arse for him"
"But you just said..."
"That's different, he's one of mine, I'm allowed to 'ave a go"
Sam chuckles to himself and thanks his lucky stars he isn't Ray.
*
*
*
Ray and Chris drag themselves into work the following Monday with their heads hung low. They'd enjoyed the rest of the holiday but Ray'd known he'd have to come back and face the Guv at some point. Wonderful.
He's barely sat down at his desk before he hears Gene's office door creak open and a voice yell "Carling, Skelton, in 'ere. Now"
They both look at each other, then head in the direction of the Guv's voice. They pass Sam who's grinning from ear to ear and Ray flips him off. Sam chuckles and rises. He refuses to miss this.
"What the bloody 'ell you doin' gettin' yaself arrested ya prat?"
"He started it, he smacked Chris"
"Did he, an' why?"
"He said..he said..."
Chris takes pity on Ray and brakes in over him "He called me a poofter and shoved me"
Gene exchanges a look with Sam and then grimaces "Oh, take it Ray didn't take kindly.."
"Oh no, he was fine until the bloke decided to smack me in the face, then all hell broke loose"
"He did what!"
"Yea, fuckin' punk decided he was gonna start on Chris 'cos he was pissed"
"Fine fine, just keep ya fists to yaself now ya back 'ere, yea?"
"Yes Guv"
"Guv?"
"Yes Chris?"
"How you been sleepin' lately, I've seen Sam's bed, not big enough for a half pint, how d'you manage to kip in it?"
Gene's blush is bright enough to blind and Sam, Chris and Ray and they can't help the laughter that bubbles up.
"Fairies"
"You've got room to talk"
Author: Moi!
Spoilers: Both seasons
Rating: Green Cortina
Word Count: 2556
Pairings: Chris/Ray & Sam/Gene
Summary: Ray and Chris take a well earned break, all hell breaks loose.
A/N: I asked elfbert to bestow a bunny on me, she did and this is the result, silly fun, as always,lol.
Sun. Sand. Time alone to act like a pair of pooftery girls. Peace. Heaven.
It's the third day of a seven day holiday that they've had planned for nearly a year.
Chris'd been like a Master General going into battle when it came to arranging and organising and refusing to allow Ray the excuses he'd put fourth for not taking time off.
By the time he'd confirmed there little road trip to Blackpool, Chris was practically bouncing.
It'd taken a further 11 months to get themselves sorted enough to come up with excuses for the rest of the station as to why they were having time off together.
Everyone just thought they had extremely bad timing, everyone except Sam and Gene. The Guv and the Boss had spotted exactly what they were up to and called them on it. Gene'd acted hurt for all of ten minutes until Sam'd annoyed him enough for him to admit that, no, he didn't mind the pair of them disappearing off together as long as they soddin' well came back.
So they're strolling along a deserted beach, hand in hand, completely lost in the sound of surf lapping at the shore and loving the fact they don't have to hide themselves away.
It might still be the seventies, might still mean men of a certain persuasion get themselves a beating for doing what they're doing right now but they're happy and they don't give a shit. Not when no one knows them, no one can point the finger or threaten them with exposure.
Ray's having a good time, despite his fairly reasonable arguments about how 'he wouldn't enjoy time away, he'd worry 'bout the Guv and the City'.
Eventually Chris'd lost his rag and Ray'd relented. If only to wipe the sorry, sad puppy look out of his gorgeous eyes. He'd always been a sucker for a good pout. Chris had a great pout.
It's almost sun set and Ray can't help appreciating the way the light plays against Chris's hair, the way his smile is so infectious. It's a right tonic, this. He'd been so sure about not enjoying it, he'd been, not for the first time, wrong.
Ok, so the Guv'd taken the piss, gotten in as many sly comments as possible between the time they'd booked it and the time they'd waved farewell for a week of relaxation.
Something about not sneaking off to Gretna Green and to make sure they sent out invites if the urge took 'em. Cheeky sod. The Guv never ceased to amaze Ray, he'd always been so against 'gays' and anything remotely different. That was until he'd been presented with his two best officers, two best friends being as queer as they came. Then he'd just sat back and smirked, thought up as many cutting remarks as he could but made sure they'd known they had his complete blessing.
Maybe Sam'd had some influence there, him being all having of feelings and whatnot, but at least it meant Ray and Chris could be themselves when they were around their superiors.
He feels himself literally unwinding. Every nerve ending slips and goes limp, his body slumps into the sensations surrounding him and he allows the smell of sea air and the sight of Chris with a knotted polka dot hanky secured around his head, to usher him into the happiest mood he's been in for months.
He lets himself smile, lets himself tug Chris to him and lets himself slide into a kiss that leaves his knees weak and his mind soaring.
Chris makes a surprised noise and then melts into the kiss, allows himself to mold to Ray's curves and enjoys the feeling of contentment at such a public display of affection from someone normally so guarded.
They continue to kiss as the sun goes down, bathing them in a deep magenta light. Somewhere in the back of Chris's mind, he imagines the scene on the front of a postcard, picture perfect never made so much sense.
*
*
*
It's well past 10pm and Chris is completely sloshed. The heady mixture of happiness blended with frilly cocktails has sent him off into a silly place where everything's funny and nothing can bring him down.
Nothing, that is, except the guy sat at the opposite end of the bar, eyeing him and Ray like they've just stolen his wallet.
"What's his problem?"
"Not a clue but leave it yea, no use startin' a fight over nothin' is there?"
"Yea, yea alright"
"Get us another drink"
"Think you've 'ad enough, don't you Christopher?"
Chris allows his eyes to go wide and a pout to form on his lips, knowing Ray'll fold like a deck of cards, he waits for him to cave in.
"Fine, just stop poutin'. You know I can't resist when ya do that, s'unfair"
"Sorry"
Chris looks anything but as Ray motions for the bartender to get another round in.
Ray's opted for his usual whiskey chasers all night yet Chris's been happily devouring anything with an umbrella or a piece of brightly coloured fruit sticking out the top of it.
Ray lost count somewhere around the fifteenth umbrella clad beverage, but Chris doesn't look to be slowing up any time soon so Ray hunkers down and enjoys Chris's expression everytime a new and inventive drink lands in front of him.
Chris's bladder finally protests enough for him to haul himself off his stool and stumble towards the bogs. Ray watches appreciatively as Chris's pert little arse wobbles its way across the bar then turns back to his own drink.
He feels eyes on his back and turns, spots the same bloke still eyeballing him, look of disgust playing across his face.
He attempts to ignore it until Chris almost falls out the loo door and the bloke gets up off his stool, walks towards the still swaying man and pokes him in the chest "Oi, poofter, can't handle yer drink I see"
Ray's up and across the bar in three large strides, sliding himself between the Neanderthal and his other half, shoving Chris behind him and jutting his chin out, defiantly. "Oi, piss off dickhead"
The pissed bloke eyes Ray up and down and smirks. "Owww, the shirt lifters got some balls"
Ray vaguely wonders exactly how this bloke knows about he and Chris but pushes it to the back of his mind when the other bloke slips round Ray's side and smacks Chris in the cheek, causing him to land heavily on his arse, rubbing his face.
Ray's nostrils flare and he feels his temper rise. How fuckin' dare he, how fuckin' dare he touch Chris.
Before Chris's managed to get to his feet, Ray's whirled on the spot and jabbed an elbow into the nameless mans ribs and he crumples in on himself.
Thinking that will end it, Ray offers a hand to Chris who takes it and allows himself to be pulled upright. He's about to say something when his eyes go wide and Ray automatically ducks, feeling the whoosh of air as the bloke barely misses connecting his fist with the back of Ray's skull.
Instead of hitting Ray, he lamps Chris again, who isn't quick enough with the alcohol still swirling round his system, to get out of the way of the punch.
As Ray straightens, he watches Chris fall backwards and hit his head against a table, cracking himself hard enough for Ray to hear the impact, then slumps on the floor, still.
Ray sees red, doesn't even think about it just lifts his leg and buries his foot in the blokes belly, sending him sprawling backwards into a wall. He turns to try and check on Chris when he feels hands grab at his collar and he's yanked backwards.
He's slammed into the wall and a pair of blazing blue eyes are shoved right up close to his face, close enough to make his vision blur, then he feels a fist connect with the side of his head, sending him spinning.
He shakes his head, tries to clear his pounding brain but he doesn't get chance because the Neanderthal has started hitting him anywhere he can find a space. Chest, face, arms.
Ray hollers and pushes forward, setting the man off balance enough for him to bring his forehead down on his nose, spreading it across his face. As blood drips into his eyes, Ray sees Chris stir and feels himself sag with relief.
He's so distracted by Chris's awakening that he doesn't see the five coppers come barreling through the door towards him.
*
*
*
Sam hears the phone go but doesn't have the strength to pull himself away from the warm bed and Gene's comfy frame. Instead he buries his head further into the crook of his DCI's arm and pretends he can't hear it trilling.
He feels Gene stir, the noise stops and the silence is followed by a grunt and Gene struggling to sit up under Sam's weight.
Sam watches, bleary eyed as Gene lifts the handset to his ear "'lo"
"Ur..G..Guv?"
"Shit"
"Guv, what...what you doin' at Sam's place?"
"I..I..."
He covers the mouthpiece with his hand and holds it away from his body like it's a bomb about to go off. Sam eyes him warily then asks "Who is it?"
"S'bloody Chris"
"Oh, ohhh"
Sam can't help it, he giggles. It's the look on Gene's face, priceless, like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Gene continues to wave the phone around in the air above Sam's head until he's got himself under control and takes it from him.
"Hello, Chris?"
"Yea boss, s'me"
"What you doing ringing here at.." Sam checks his watch "2am?"
"It's, well it's...ok, it's Ray he, well he kinda sorta got his'self arrested"
"He what!"
"Yea, an' now I'm sat 'ere in some shitty cop shop in soddin' Blackpool waitin' for 'em to release him. 'Cept they're sayin' they can't. What with him bein' a copper, they needs his superior officer to ok it"
"Righttttt"
"Sam?"
"Yea"
"What's the Guv doin' there?"
"Oh, uh, well, same thing you've been doing at Ray's the past 2 or 3 years"
"Ohh, ok, 'nough said. So, can you 'elp, just don't tell the Guv yea, 'cos he'll go ballistic"
"Gonna be a bit hard Chris, what with him sitting right here"
"Shit!"
"Yea. Hang on, give me the case workers number, I'll call in"
"Thanks boss"
"You owe me"
"I've got a feelin' I'll be payin' for it for a while"
"Uhuh"
Sam grabs a pen and paper from above the bed, ignoring Gene's confused expression, and jots down the police officers extension number then says good bye and hangs up.
Gene's confusion notches up and he continues to stare at Sam, arms crossed over his bare chest, looking like a stern school master, making Sam peel off into another fit of giggles.
When Gene's look threatens bloody retribution if Sam doesn't stop laughing, he sobers, bites his lip and attempts to tell Gene what the phone call was all about.
"Chris..Chris..he..Shit, Ray's been arrested"
He makes it that far before he breaks out into giggles again. Gene's horrified look and sudden jerk make Sam lose it big time and he ends up thumping the bed covers and holding his sides.
"Oi, Gladys, calm down. How the bloody 'ell did that useless twat get himself arrested?"
"Chris didn't say but you can bet it's gonna be something daft. Anyway, gotta ring and ok his release. You wanna do it or should I?"
Gene contemplates him for a second then a huge grin forms on his lips and he motions for the bit of paper Sam's still holding.
Sam forks it over and watches with amusement as Gene dials
"Hello"
"Yea, look, you got one of my officers currently residin' in your cells, wanna tell me what it's all about?"
"Huh, oh right, yea, you must be DI Tyler"
"No, I'm DCI Hunt"
"Ahh, right well, DS Carling got into a fight in a bar"
"Typical, an' what exactly prompted this bare knuckle bout?"
"He, he said that some bloke started pushing his 'friend' around"
"What d'ya mean pushin' and what exactly d'ya mean by that tone of voice mate!"
"Nothing, nothing, it's just kind of obvious that..."
"Don't you bloody dare"
Gene's tone leaves no room for argument and the other officer goes quiet on the end of the line.
Sam watches, eyebrows raised as Gene gets redder and redder in the face. He's just contemplating taking the phone from him when he hears someone say something and then Gene explodes.
"Well, anyway, we can't release DS Carling to his 'friend' without you signing off on it, at least verbally"
"I already told you, cut the tone and stop makin' out like he started this. If I know Ray, he was just defendin' Chris and I'll thank you to keep your bloody obvious observations to yourself you stuck up prick. Release my officer or I'll come up there and wipe that smug tone outta your voice, got it?"
Sam watches, amused as Gene slams the receiver back into it's cradle and goes for the bottle of scotch resting beside the bed.
"Ok, what?"
"Stuck up snot rag, thinks he can go on about one of my officers like that..."
"Calm, so we getting him back or not?"
"Yea, they'll release him now. Wait 'til he gets back down here, I'll kick his arse for him"
"But you just said..."
"That's different, he's one of mine, I'm allowed to 'ave a go"
Sam chuckles to himself and thanks his lucky stars he isn't Ray.
*
*
*
Ray and Chris drag themselves into work the following Monday with their heads hung low. They'd enjoyed the rest of the holiday but Ray'd known he'd have to come back and face the Guv at some point. Wonderful.
He's barely sat down at his desk before he hears Gene's office door creak open and a voice yell "Carling, Skelton, in 'ere. Now"
They both look at each other, then head in the direction of the Guv's voice. They pass Sam who's grinning from ear to ear and Ray flips him off. Sam chuckles and rises. He refuses to miss this.
"What the bloody 'ell you doin' gettin' yaself arrested ya prat?"
"He started it, he smacked Chris"
"Did he, an' why?"
"He said..he said..."
Chris takes pity on Ray and brakes in over him "He called me a poofter and shoved me"
Gene exchanges a look with Sam and then grimaces "Oh, take it Ray didn't take kindly.."
"Oh no, he was fine until the bloke decided to smack me in the face, then all hell broke loose"
"He did what!"
"Yea, fuckin' punk decided he was gonna start on Chris 'cos he was pissed"
"Fine fine, just keep ya fists to yaself now ya back 'ere, yea?"
"Yes Guv"
"Guv?"
"Yes Chris?"
"How you been sleepin' lately, I've seen Sam's bed, not big enough for a half pint, how d'you manage to kip in it?"
Gene's blush is bright enough to blind and Sam, Chris and Ray and they can't help the laughter that bubbles up.
"Fairies"
"You've got room to talk"