Comments | lifein1973: Fic: Jabberwocky, Part 8/?

sytaxia in lifein1973

Fic: Jabberwocky, Part 8/?

Jun 03, 2007 11:33

Gene Hunt paced back and forth, silently, forbiddingly, his behavior incredibly like that of a caged animal. The hospital waiting room was filled with smoke from his constant chaining of cigarettes, the small table littered with overflowing ashtrays and empty fag packets. The nurses in the station occasionally glanced up to stare, ( Read more... )

fic

Comments 31

echo_voice June 3 2007, 17:14:50 UTC

I can't explain how much I love this story! You write very well - you managed to make me cry over the scene where the nurse lets Gene in to see Sam. Please let the bunny evolve a little more and keep writing!

sytaxia June 5 2007, 01:41:32 UTC

Thanks very much, I'm glad that you enjoyed it (perhaps enjoyed isn't really the right word...) That scene was actually very had to write - Gene is much easier to write when he's being all politically incorrect and snarky and such, and he's actually very hard to write as distressed/depressed/etc. So I'm very, very happy that you found the scene to be effective :) The bunny continues to mutate - this was supposed to be a little 5-parter!

echo_voice June 5 2007, 11:17:29 UTC

I know how you feel on both parts - getting Gene to be realistically emotional is very hard, as is stopping fics from going mad and extending further than intending!

elfbert June 3 2007, 17:15:30 UTC

ZOMG...I love it! Poor lost-boy Chris. I just want to hug him. (Okay, I want Ray to hug him too)

And another body..argh! You're kilin' me!

sytaxia June 5 2007, 01:42:32 UTC

Glad that you liked it :) Don't worry, sooner or later, everyone will get their huggles.

saintvic June 3 2007, 17:22:00 UTC

Hello again. Some wonderful hints here about what will happen in the future. Gene wanting Sam back, Ray and Chris, both of your DCI's (interesting), anf finally another body turning up. Love the way you manage to weave so much in - characters, plots, foreshadowing future points and more.

sytaxia June 5 2007, 01:44:11 UTC

Thanks very much! I was afraid that the first segment of the story, which just doesn't seem to want to end, was getting to slow, so I tried to rearrange a lot of the action to speed up the pace here. I'm very glad that it didn't seem cluttered/inconsistant/etc.

(The comment has been removed)

sytaxia June 5 2007, 01:45:21 UTC

EEEP! *Dives behind the sofa, gets kicked out by the cat. Again.*

More coming soon, it'll all be explained, I swear!

dozy_rose June 3 2007, 20:24:18 UTC

Wow, that's some powerful writing. I had to stop and take a break halfway through your description of Chris and Myers because it was conjuring up some really vivid images.

Poor Sam, he's going to be so disappointed when he wakes up in 1973.

sytaxia June 5 2007, 01:47:03 UTC

Thanks very much for the comment, I really appreciate it :) Sam's definitely going to be upset...