Angst ahoy
Title: Left Behind
Author: Emeriin
Rating: Brown Cortina
Characters/Pairings: Maya, Vic Tyler, Ruth Tyler
Word count (optional): 301
Warning: Not a happy bunny. I feel I could do better with this, and I apologise if it's not fantastic but its a nice way to express my bitterness and so I'm posting it anyway. I do hope you like it.
X-posted to jumping off and my journal.
Sam, I know you can’t hear me. I know that, even if you were still alive, you wouldn’t care. I can’t get my head around what you did. I can’t even find the words to tell you how much I hate you. What was so bad about this life that you had to jump off a building? I don’t understand, why would you hurt everyone who still cared about you? How could you destroy your mum like that? I’ll be back tomorrow; I hope you’ve found happiness in heaven or whatever. I wish I could say I don’t care about you anymore.
*****
I don’t want to be here. Even if I was a good father and stayed for you and Ruth, I still wouldn’t want to be here. I never wanted to hold your mother while she cried, because she lost you yet again. I never wanted my last memory of you as a happy four year old to be replaced with your smashed up corpse. Why did you do it, Sam? I know you were in a coma for a long time, I know you don’t exactly have a wide circle of friends. But you had people who loved you. You weren’t alone.
****
Oh God, I still can’t think. I got you back and then I lost you again. You were such a beautiful boy and then… bones broken, neck twisted, blood all over you. They had to scoop you off the ground and I couldn’t even recognise you. Is it my fault? Am I a bad mother? I should have done something all those years ago, when I saw those knife marks on your arm. But you convinced me it was just a teenage phase and that you were honestly fine. Never thought I would have to bury you.
Author: Emeriin
Rating: Brown Cortina
Characters/Pairings: Maya, Vic Tyler, Ruth Tyler
Word count (optional): 301
Warning: Not a happy bunny. I feel I could do better with this, and I apologise if it's not fantastic but its a nice way to express my bitterness and so I'm posting it anyway. I do hope you like it.
X-posted to jumping off and my journal.
Sam, I know you can’t hear me. I know that, even if you were still alive, you wouldn’t care. I can’t get my head around what you did. I can’t even find the words to tell you how much I hate you. What was so bad about this life that you had to jump off a building? I don’t understand, why would you hurt everyone who still cared about you? How could you destroy your mum like that? I’ll be back tomorrow; I hope you’ve found happiness in heaven or whatever. I wish I could say I don’t care about you anymore.
*****
I don’t want to be here. Even if I was a good father and stayed for you and Ruth, I still wouldn’t want to be here. I never wanted to hold your mother while she cried, because she lost you yet again. I never wanted my last memory of you as a happy four year old to be replaced with your smashed up corpse. Why did you do it, Sam? I know you were in a coma for a long time, I know you don’t exactly have a wide circle of friends. But you had people who loved you. You weren’t alone.
****
Oh God, I still can’t think. I got you back and then I lost you again. You were such a beautiful boy and then… bones broken, neck twisted, blood all over you. They had to scoop you off the ground and I couldn’t even recognise you. Is it my fault? Am I a bad mother? I should have done something all those years ago, when I saw those knife marks on your arm. But you convinced me it was just a teenage phase and that you were honestly fine. Never thought I would have to bury you.