Even David Cassidy by fawsley, pale green Cortina with Sam and Gene
Title: Even David Cassidy
Author: fawsley
Characters: Sam/Gene
Rating: festive whitish-green Cortina - let's call it mistletoe
Word count: 1300
Disclaimer: All the property of the BBC and Kudos
Summary: Someone's set a Christmas connundrum for Gene, but who's behind it and what does it all mean?
Notes: It's a puzzle for you too if you feel like being a proper little CID girl or boy! If anyone can solve and explain ALL the clues they can claim a Sam 'n' Gene ficlet from me.
Edit: We now have a winner in vicfarmer but I hope that doesn't stop anyone from reading and playing along as they go!
Even David Cassidy
Christmas Day
'Bloody hell! What's that on me desk?'
'Judging by the wrapping paper and festive bow, I'd say it was probably a present, wouldn't you? No doubt somebody’s taken pity on the fact you have to work Christmas Day, wants to cheer you up.'
'Who the heck's it from then?'
'Isn't there a tag on it?'
'Nope.'
'Better open up and see what it is.'
'Think it might be a record, given the shape...'
'Your powers of detection never cease to amaze me, Guv.'
'Flaming Nora! David bloody Cassidy!'
'Ha! Well you always did have a weakness for dodgy male singers!'
'Who the bloody hell is giving me a David Cassidy LP?'
'June used to like him. Maybe it's from her. She's always had a soft spot for you.'
'David bloody Cassidy... But this is more like it, bag of sweets too!'
'Mmm... Those things always smell like nail polish remover to me.'
'And that's something you'd know all about, isn't it Dorothy?'
'You going to share then? Christmas spirit and all that?'
'Here you are. Have David. He's all yours.'
Boxing Day
'Another bloody parcel!'
'Don't think it's an LP this time.'
'Books... Someone's giving me stuff to read!'
'Imported American stuff by the look of it. I'm surprised these are June's sort of thing.'
'Wereblood... Werenight... Not sure if they're my sort of thing either!'
‘You never know - give ‘em a go!'
'Says they're about savage northerners descending upon the southern empire. Must be a potted history of United against Arsenal, then.'
Thursday 27th December
‘What’s up? You’re looking a bit down in the mouth.’
‘Didn’t get a mystery parcel today.’
‘June fallen out of love with you already has she? Come to her senses after only two days? Can’t say I blame her.’
‘Still don’t think it was June.’
‘Tell you what, I’ll cook you a nice supper to make up for it.’
‘Not beef. Don’t ever want to see a bit of beef in my life ever again.’
‘It was you who wanted beef for Christmas Dinner. Told you we’d be eating it for a week, a joint that size. No - I’ve got a nice free-range chicken in the fridge. We can have Coq au Vin, Chicken Dijon, or Poulet Vallée d'Auge. Which do you want?’
‘Foreign muck?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Lovely!’
Friday 28th December
‘And this one goes out to Manchester’s very own Detective Chief Inspector Gene Hunt, one of the fantastic boys - and girls! - in blue keeping our city safe and sound this festive season. Doesn’t say who it’s from, but what they’ve asked for is an old ‘un and a good ‘un, just like the Guv himself. It’s The Chiffons with ‘Sweet Talking Guy’!’
Saturday 29th December
‘Nothing on the label to say who it’s from...’
‘June must have had a change of heart - the romance is back on again!’
‘Blimey! Always wanted a magic set when I was a kid!’
‘Paul Daniels’d better watch out now you’re on the scene.’
‘It’s them rings that link together then come apart again and you can’t see how it’s done!’
‘Because that’s magic!’
‘You going to be my glamorous assistant then, Sammy?’
‘Just as long as I don’t have to wear a frock.’
Sunday 30th December
‘This just gets weirder, Sam - these were on the doorstep, in a basket...’
‘Thought it was Christmas, not Easter.’
‘They’re a bit big, aren’t they? Do you think they’re from an ostrich?’
‘Maybe they’re the last remnants of Belle Vue Zoo!’
‘They’ll be rank if they are. What we going to do with them, Sam?’
‘No more chicken left, no more beef… Fancy ostrich omelette for your tea?’
New Year's Eve
'How many you had now?'
'Not enough!'
'Dunno about that!'
'Never enough!'
'Got to work in the morning...'
'Not fair! Worked Christmas Day, gotta work New Year's Day... Not fair!'
'Who drew up the rota, eh?'
'Bloody idiot, whoever he was!'
'Better make this the last one, before we drink Swan Street dry!'
'Two in the Smithfield, two in the Burton Arms, two in the Bear...'
'One more for the road then, while we can still see straight?'
'One more for the road it is! Happy New Year, Sam!'
New Year's Day
‘Bloody hell! Just Jugs! Thought that’d gone out of print years ago! Half a dozen, no - one, two more of ‘em! Blimey, bring back old times, these do!’
‘So now June’s leaving you vintage porn magazines for New Year. Strange way to go about trying to get inside your knickers.’
‘Isn’t June! Can’t be. She’s a nice clean girl.’
‘Which is more than you can say for that one...’
‘Blimey! We could lick her clean good and proper between us, Sammy-boy! You take the left mouthful, I’ll take the right!’
Wednesday 2nd January
‘All I did was go into the canteen for my morning cuppa... Same as usual, day in, day out... And as soon as they saw me... As soon as they knew it was me... Gwen turned the radio up and her and all her girls they... they... they all boogied!’
Thursday 3rd January
‘Wasn’t sure if you’d be up for this or not...’
‘Not up for it? Trip to the circus? You must be bonkers, Sam! Always loved the circus! Even though it’s a bit like being at work.’
‘Work? What d’you mean?’
‘Well Chris and Ray are a couple of clowns, aren’t they?’
‘Ray’s car is certainly somewhat comical!’
‘And Annie’s the pretty lady in tights!’
‘Doesn’t tend to ride round on horseback though.’
‘Could be arranged if she likes. I’m the great big ferocious lion…’
‘What? Caged and kept in check by the cruel lion tamer?’
‘You’re not that bad, Sam, on the whole.’
‘I’ll take that as a compliment.’
‘Just as long as it’s not only the head on your shoulders you keep sticking down my gob on a regular basis...’
‘Shut it! There are kids around! Anyway, here comes the act I really wanted you to see - The Emperor of China’s Royal Acrobats!’
‘Probably all come from Faulkener Street.’
‘Shut up and watch! They do this amazing human pyramid, bouncing off the trampoline and jumping up onto one another!’
‘Wait until we get home and I’ll bounce off the bed and onto you, my lad...’
Friday 4th to Saturday 5th January
'All been very quiet today. No surprise packages. No mysterious messages. Bit sad really, I was beginning to rather enjoy whatever it was that was going on.'
'Never mind all that! Just get your coat and scarf on, we're going out!'
'Out? What d'you mean, out?'
'Out! As in stepping out of the door, down the street, and into the city centre!'
'But it's nearly bedtime! Gone bedtime in fact...'
'Gene, just get your coat and scarf and come on! It's nearly midnight!'
'Where are we going, Sam? It's bloody freezing!'
'Don't worry, you'll soon warm up. We're going to see the parade!'
'Parade? What parade?'
'The midnight parade! Manchester's Massed Pipes and Drums! Listen - can you hear them?'
'I can that, you sneaky little devil you!'
'Sneaky? I don't know what you mean!'
'Was wondering how you were going to round it off. Very clever. But very sneaky. And it's been great fun, from start to finish. Thank you.'
'Worked it out in the end, then?'
'Did that. And you are, you know...'
'Are what?'
'What you've been telling me you are for the past, oooh - how many days is it now?'
'Thank you. That means a lot. You are too, you know. And you really enjoyed it all?'
'Told you I did, didn't I?'
'Even David Cassidy?'
'Deep and crisp and even David Cassidy.'
'What? What you on about now?'
'You don't half look pretty with snowflakes on your eyelashes, Sammy...'
Author: fawsley
Characters: Sam/Gene
Rating: festive whitish-green Cortina - let's call it mistletoe
Word count: 1300
Disclaimer: All the property of the BBC and Kudos
Summary: Someone's set a Christmas connundrum for Gene, but who's behind it and what does it all mean?
Notes: It's a puzzle for you too if you feel like being a proper little CID girl or boy! If anyone can solve and explain ALL the clues they can claim a Sam 'n' Gene ficlet from me.
Edit: We now have a winner in vicfarmer but I hope that doesn't stop anyone from reading and playing along as they go!
Even David Cassidy
Christmas Day
'Bloody hell! What's that on me desk?'
'Judging by the wrapping paper and festive bow, I'd say it was probably a present, wouldn't you? No doubt somebody’s taken pity on the fact you have to work Christmas Day, wants to cheer you up.'
'Who the heck's it from then?'
'Isn't there a tag on it?'
'Nope.'
'Better open up and see what it is.'
'Think it might be a record, given the shape...'
'Your powers of detection never cease to amaze me, Guv.'
'Flaming Nora! David bloody Cassidy!'
'Ha! Well you always did have a weakness for dodgy male singers!'
'Who the bloody hell is giving me a David Cassidy LP?'
'June used to like him. Maybe it's from her. She's always had a soft spot for you.'
'David bloody Cassidy... But this is more like it, bag of sweets too!'
'Mmm... Those things always smell like nail polish remover to me.'
'And that's something you'd know all about, isn't it Dorothy?'
'You going to share then? Christmas spirit and all that?'
'Here you are. Have David. He's all yours.'
Boxing Day
'Another bloody parcel!'
'Don't think it's an LP this time.'
'Books... Someone's giving me stuff to read!'
'Imported American stuff by the look of it. I'm surprised these are June's sort of thing.'
'Wereblood... Werenight... Not sure if they're my sort of thing either!'
‘You never know - give ‘em a go!'
'Says they're about savage northerners descending upon the southern empire. Must be a potted history of United against Arsenal, then.'
Thursday 27th December
‘What’s up? You’re looking a bit down in the mouth.’
‘Didn’t get a mystery parcel today.’
‘June fallen out of love with you already has she? Come to her senses after only two days? Can’t say I blame her.’
‘Still don’t think it was June.’
‘Tell you what, I’ll cook you a nice supper to make up for it.’
‘Not beef. Don’t ever want to see a bit of beef in my life ever again.’
‘It was you who wanted beef for Christmas Dinner. Told you we’d be eating it for a week, a joint that size. No - I’ve got a nice free-range chicken in the fridge. We can have Coq au Vin, Chicken Dijon, or Poulet Vallée d'Auge. Which do you want?’
‘Foreign muck?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Lovely!’
Friday 28th December
‘And this one goes out to Manchester’s very own Detective Chief Inspector Gene Hunt, one of the fantastic boys - and girls! - in blue keeping our city safe and sound this festive season. Doesn’t say who it’s from, but what they’ve asked for is an old ‘un and a good ‘un, just like the Guv himself. It’s The Chiffons with ‘Sweet Talking Guy’!’
Saturday 29th December
‘Nothing on the label to say who it’s from...’
‘June must have had a change of heart - the romance is back on again!’
‘Blimey! Always wanted a magic set when I was a kid!’
‘Paul Daniels’d better watch out now you’re on the scene.’
‘It’s them rings that link together then come apart again and you can’t see how it’s done!’
‘Because that’s magic!’
‘You going to be my glamorous assistant then, Sammy?’
‘Just as long as I don’t have to wear a frock.’
Sunday 30th December
‘This just gets weirder, Sam - these were on the doorstep, in a basket...’
‘Thought it was Christmas, not Easter.’
‘They’re a bit big, aren’t they? Do you think they’re from an ostrich?’
‘Maybe they’re the last remnants of Belle Vue Zoo!’
‘They’ll be rank if they are. What we going to do with them, Sam?’
‘No more chicken left, no more beef… Fancy ostrich omelette for your tea?’
New Year's Eve
'How many you had now?'
'Not enough!'
'Dunno about that!'
'Never enough!'
'Got to work in the morning...'
'Not fair! Worked Christmas Day, gotta work New Year's Day... Not fair!'
'Who drew up the rota, eh?'
'Bloody idiot, whoever he was!'
'Better make this the last one, before we drink Swan Street dry!'
'Two in the Smithfield, two in the Burton Arms, two in the Bear...'
'One more for the road then, while we can still see straight?'
'One more for the road it is! Happy New Year, Sam!'
New Year's Day
‘Bloody hell! Just Jugs! Thought that’d gone out of print years ago! Half a dozen, no - one, two more of ‘em! Blimey, bring back old times, these do!’
‘So now June’s leaving you vintage porn magazines for New Year. Strange way to go about trying to get inside your knickers.’
‘Isn’t June! Can’t be. She’s a nice clean girl.’
‘Which is more than you can say for that one...’
‘Blimey! We could lick her clean good and proper between us, Sammy-boy! You take the left mouthful, I’ll take the right!’
Wednesday 2nd January
‘All I did was go into the canteen for my morning cuppa... Same as usual, day in, day out... And as soon as they saw me... As soon as they knew it was me... Gwen turned the radio up and her and all her girls they... they... they all boogied!’
Thursday 3rd January
‘Wasn’t sure if you’d be up for this or not...’
‘Not up for it? Trip to the circus? You must be bonkers, Sam! Always loved the circus! Even though it’s a bit like being at work.’
‘Work? What d’you mean?’
‘Well Chris and Ray are a couple of clowns, aren’t they?’
‘Ray’s car is certainly somewhat comical!’
‘And Annie’s the pretty lady in tights!’
‘Doesn’t tend to ride round on horseback though.’
‘Could be arranged if she likes. I’m the great big ferocious lion…’
‘What? Caged and kept in check by the cruel lion tamer?’
‘You’re not that bad, Sam, on the whole.’
‘I’ll take that as a compliment.’
‘Just as long as it’s not only the head on your shoulders you keep sticking down my gob on a regular basis...’
‘Shut it! There are kids around! Anyway, here comes the act I really wanted you to see - The Emperor of China’s Royal Acrobats!’
‘Probably all come from Faulkener Street.’
‘Shut up and watch! They do this amazing human pyramid, bouncing off the trampoline and jumping up onto one another!’
‘Wait until we get home and I’ll bounce off the bed and onto you, my lad...’
Friday 4th to Saturday 5th January
'All been very quiet today. No surprise packages. No mysterious messages. Bit sad really, I was beginning to rather enjoy whatever it was that was going on.'
'Never mind all that! Just get your coat and scarf on, we're going out!'
'Out? What d'you mean, out?'
'Out! As in stepping out of the door, down the street, and into the city centre!'
'But it's nearly bedtime! Gone bedtime in fact...'
'Gene, just get your coat and scarf and come on! It's nearly midnight!'
'Where are we going, Sam? It's bloody freezing!'
'Don't worry, you'll soon warm up. We're going to see the parade!'
'Parade? What parade?'
'The midnight parade! Manchester's Massed Pipes and Drums! Listen - can you hear them?'
'I can that, you sneaky little devil you!'
'Sneaky? I don't know what you mean!'
'Was wondering how you were going to round it off. Very clever. But very sneaky. And it's been great fun, from start to finish. Thank you.'
'Worked it out in the end, then?'
'Did that. And you are, you know...'
'Are what?'
'What you've been telling me you are for the past, oooh - how many days is it now?'
'Thank you. That means a lot. You are too, you know. And you really enjoyed it all?'
'Told you I did, didn't I?'
'Even David Cassidy?'
'Deep and crisp and even David Cassidy.'
'What? What you on about now?'
'You don't half look pretty with snowflakes on your eyelashes, Sammy...'