Midweek Humor
DEFINITIONS:
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male..... Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male..... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n..
Female... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male..... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male..... Anything that can be done while drinking beer..
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male..... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7 . REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male..... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
AND:
He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
He said . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . . . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said . . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . . . We don't know; it has never happened.
He said . . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male..... Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male..... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n..
Female... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male..... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male..... Anything that can be done while drinking beer..
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male..... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7 . REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male..... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
AND:
He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
He said . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . . . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said . . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . . . We don't know; it has never happened.
He said . . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.