After 14 years
Hello world!
This is my first entry since approximately 14 years. I was that old/young when I began posting rants about anything. For my older self (I'm 33 now) it's extremely interesting and a little bit scary reading so many entries from my younger self. Why is it scary? Because I can't really remember writing that much about anything. It's like reading a stranger's diary.
So anyway, what happened in these 14 years I didn't touch this livejournal? And how did I come back?
Approximately one week ago I received an e-mail from livejournal, that I have my 18th anniversary on LJ and I should come celebrate it. And I thought: I didn't write that much in an open public to all diary, right? But here I am, really surprised. Did take a while to re-open my account (e-mails with renewing password didn't reach me for a while, but in the end they popped up in my e-mail-account).
Reading from your puberty self experiencing all the struggles you naturally experience - you have to be not too hard with your younger self (YS). You shouldn't be angry about YS using youth slang (aaaaaawesome, *gg* and so on) and everything you are ashamed of now. Maybe it even helps me understanding the youth and don't be apocalyptic about them.
I even sometimes think "they're talking like teenagers" when communicating with the youngest Turnusärzte in my hospital - and I have to admit that they look younger every time new ones begin. But it's normal. They are normal. When I have children maybe this experience will help me, too, because sometimes you tend to think "I wasn't THAT stupid when being a teenager/young woman". But here reading the old entries I'm very sure that I was an unthankful stupid prat.
Currently I'm working in a Viennese hospital as a specialist doctor for anesthesia and intensive care medicine and I have to admit I like being not the young trainee anymore (even though I still look young despite my in number alarmangly increasing amount of white hair). I've been a specialist for more than one year now.
I love my boyfriend very much - most of the time I call him my husband. Couldn't be happier. I think I found my person.
I know that no one will read this - but it doesn't matter. It's a journal for myself. Honestly I can't remember the relation of every user I befriended 15 years ago. Did I even know them? It shows me that memories are tricky and (you know that from books) you can't trust them.
Maybe the next entry will take place in 15 years? I don't know. I will continue reading my YS from time to time now that I've recovered my diary password.