The 5,000 Question Survey.
1. Who are you? "I'm the zig-zag man. Who the fuck are you?"
2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you? I'm judgmental, extroverted, and pedagogic, with all the brain-static and friendship-issues that come with them.
3. When you aren't filling out 5,000 question surveys like this one what are you doing? Playing WoW, looking for a better job, being slowly more and more disappointed with the state of the world and the people in it.
4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if you are out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn't like at the time). Geology/Geography, Ethics Discussion, History, Political Science, Writing/English, Mathematics (of any kind)
5. What is your biggest goal for this year? Move away from Phoenix. It's only January 19th and it already seems out of reach.
6. Where do you want to be in 5 years? Seattle, in a permanent full-time non-profit position, going back to college for a Master's program in Ethics/Political Science/Journalism.
7. What stage of life are you in right now? Uh, the larval stage? What the hell kind of question is that? That seems like the kind of thing that gets graded by others. I'm currently just barely to the "Living unaided on your own" point.
8. Are you more child-like or childish? Oh, childish absolutely.
9. What is the last thing you said out loud? "I'm the zig-zag man. Who the fuck are you?"
10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now? Like anyone with a fairly broad spectrum of music tastes, I could really pick a dozen songs out of the air and connect them to my life. Assemblage 23's "Lullaby." VNV Nation's "The Farthest Star" or "The Great Divide."
11. Have you ever taken martial arts classes? Yes. Shorin-ryu Karate and IKMF Krav Maga.
12. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same? Well, it has its ups and downs like almost anyone's. I would say that it started out a bit lowball and hasn't really risen or fallen any more than the next person's. I could be doing a hell of a lot worse than I am, but I could be a lot better, too.
13. Does time really heal all wounds? No. Our existence is the sum of our experiences. The only way to not be at all affected by an event that has occured is to completely forget the occurance.
14. How do you handle a rainy day? It's like any other day, except that I might open a door or window if it's warm, and let the rain-smell in.
15. Which is worse...losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights? ...losing your luggage. Is this really in doubt? Anyone who says 'sorting out tangled Christmas lights' is probably just wrong.
16. How is your relationship with your parents? My biological parents? Nonexistent. I have no contact at all with my mother and have no meaningful connection at all to my father. I don't even think of them when I think of 'parents.' My legal guardians since I was two years old are my grandmother and uncle, with whom I have a very close relationship.
Will you miss them when they are gone? Yes. Everyone will miss them when they're gone. The world will be dimmer and the people who never met them won't even know why.
17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you? When I'm not at the computer, yes. When I'm sitting here, and have my headphones on, I lose hours at a time in chat, music, and video games.
18. What is the truest thing that you know? "Some questions do have right answers."
19. What did you want to be when you grew up? Astronomer. Meteorologist. World-traveler. Military commander. International journalist. Revolutionary.
20. Have you ever been given a second chance? Yes. Regularly.
21. Are you more of a giver or a taker? I try to keep them equal.
22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind? Occasionally, but usually by the time I actually settle on a decision I'm fairly immovable unless the countervailing evidence is overwhelming.
23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you? Physically painful? I've been spared most of the physical traumas one can suffer, and the ones that did occur to me were when I was young enough that I don't recall them now, at all. I bashed my teeth against the curb when I was 12, I got my hand caught under a 200 lb. dumpster when I was 10 (and had it dragged six inches across a concrete driveway)... I don't remember either of these events, but the scars prove they happened. That's the best I've got.
24. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you? I haven't suffered very much emotional pain at all. Most of what I have had has been completely transitory. I'm bracing myself for the upcoming loss of either my grandmother or uncle, or both, and that's probably going to be a game-changer for me.
25. Who have you hugged today? Nobody. The last hug I gave/got was with my grandmother about two weeks ago.
26. Who has done something today to show they care about you? Today? Nobody, unless you count idle conversation and smiley-faces.
27. Do you have a lot to learn? Yes. Everyone does.
28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be? Write a world-class article, run a flawless parkour course, and hit a moving target at a hundred yards.
29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel? How they make me feel. My impressions of a person last far longer than my memories of their actions, and my memories of their exact words often evaporate within a day or two. I'm regularly reminded by friends of conversations that occured only a week or two before, usually accompanied by "You don't remember us talking about that?" But I never lose my general impression of them, even if I lose contact with them for months or years at a time.
30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship? Trust is the key. The number-one rule is that you absolutely -must- be honest with one another. No white-lies, no omission, no anything. A good relationship is about gluing two lives together into a functioning and worthwhile whole. If you're hiding something from the other, you're lying to yourself as well.
31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die? Be published in a major magazine or newspaper, be on the right (that is, justified) side of a violent confrontation, and experience space/weightlessness.
32. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing? There isn't much I would die for. At the furthest possible extreme, I might die in the name of some virtue, like liberty or justice, but this isn't really a question I can answer off-the-cuff. I might die to avoid killing/causing the death of a loved one, perhaps.
33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause? Yes. Human solidarity against all forms of totalitarianism/non-freedom. All other causes stem from the right of a human being to self-govern.
34. What does each decade make you think of:
The 19..
20's: Bowler hats.
30's: The Depression.
40's: World War II.
50's: Frank Sinatra.
60's: The Beatles.
70's: Hippies/Drug Culture.
80's: Hair Metal. ("The music that mattered from the decade that didn't.")
90's: High school.
2000 (so far): Politics.
2010's: Being let down by 'the future.'
35. Which decade do you feel the most special connection to and why? I don't feel any particular connection to any decade.
36. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song? I don't have one. I dislike most "classic rock."
37. What country do you live in and who is the leader of that country? The United States. President Obama. Behold, 2nd Grade civics questions.
If you could say any sentence to the current leader of your country what would it be? "Do better, push harder. Don't let the motherfuckers win."
38. What's your favorite TV channel to watch in the middle of the night? The last time I had a favorite middle-of-the-night TV channel was over ten years ago, and it was MTV because they played music videos, "After Hours."
39. What Disney villain are you the most like and why? Man, I don't know. This one's open to the public. You guys tell me.
40. Have you ever been a girl scout/boy scout? Yes. I was a cub scout. I'm glad I didn't stay in. To hell with the Boy Scouts.
41. If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat? I'd take a boat if time weren't an issue.
42. Why is the sky blue during the day and black at night? The mix of elements that make up what we call 'air' absorbs a little more red light than blue, so the sunlight that filters down through it to our eyes has more blue in it than red. During the night, the sun isn't shining down through this filter, and our eyes cannot perceive the air itself.
43. What does your name mean? I'm named after my grandfather*, a Greek man named Stelios Alexis Spirgis. 'Stelios' is apparently the Greek translation of 'Stephen.'
44. Would you rather explore the deeps of the ocean or outer space? Outer space.
45. Word association
What is the first word that comes to mind when you see the word:
Air: Band.
Meat: Loaf.
Different: Different.
Pink: Sleaze.
Deserve: Just.
White: Jack.
Elvis: Presley.
Magic: The Gathering.
Heart: Band.
Clash: Band.
Pulp: Fiction.
46. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be? Carl Sagan. No contest. If I could spend a week in conversation with him, I would be a better man than I am today.
47. What if you could meet anyone who is alive? Christopher Hitchens, probably, or Barack Obama.
48. Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it everyday? Nope.
49. You are going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week. What do you bring to do? A mini-fridge full of trail-mix and gatorade, and a high-powered laptop with a strong wifi connection.
50. Have you ever saved someone's life or had your life saved? Twice now, I've had friends have to run back to the house we shared and fetch my asthma inhaler while I sat choking to death on a street-curb.
51. Make up a definition for the following silly words...
Fruitgoogle: An overly-sugary children's breakfast cereal. (Note: Contains no real fruit.)
Ambytime: Ambytime is whatever time you set your alarm at, so long as it is a time you would rather not wake up.
Asscactus: An epithet.
52. What was the last thing you made with your own hands? I put together my motherboard, new RAM-sticks, and processor/heat sink.
53. What was your favorite toy as a child? LEGOs.
54. How many TV’s are in your house? One, which we almost never use. Two, if you count Taylor's widescreen, although it isn't plugged in or being used. Still, technically, it's a TV, and it is in our house.
55. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Walk.
56. How do you feel when you see a rainbow? Unimpressed. (Better double it up.)
57. Have you ever dreamt a dream that came true? If I have, I don't remember.
58. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader? Nope. I wouldn't make it five minutes without laughing, and I hate to laugh at people who are acting in earnest.
59. What is your idea of paradise? Knowing that human suffers or goes without because of the actions of another human.
60. Do you believe in god and if so what is he/she/it like? No.
61. Do you believe in Hell? No.
62. What one thing have you done that most people haven't? Renounced God, now that you mention it.
63. What is the kindest thing you have ever done? I don't remember. I do kind things when I can, but I don't go out of my way to bookmark them in my head.
64. Are you a patient person? Not really. Less than average, I'd say.
65. What holiday should exist but doesn't? "Be Cool to One Another Day."
66. What holiday shouldn't exist but does? Christm--... okay, fine. Valentine's Day because it's a made-up Hallmark holiday to sell greeting cards.
67. What's the best joke you ever heard? The one about the dog.
68. Where is the most fun place you have EVER been? EVER? Seattle. No really.
69. Is your hair natural or dyed? Natural. I can't think of any color I would be willing to dye it that wouldn't get me sent home from work.
70. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much up front? I'm, ah, 'pretty much up front,' as they say.
71. What is under your bed right now? I have no idea. Books, a towel, dust, carpet, ... I don't know.
72. If you were in the Land of Oz would you want to live there or go home? Go home. The Land of Oz looks like it's pretty boring, and it's ruled by an autocrat.
73. If you drive do you frequently speed? Yep. Usually 10 over, sometimes edging on 20-30 if I'm pretty sure I'm not endangering anyone. Only on highways though - I'm fairly good about speed limits on surface streets.
74. What is the world's best song to dance to? I wouldn't know.
75. What song was on the last time you danced with someone? I'm pretty sure I danced with siguirya at her wedding, but I don't remember, so I don't know what was playing.
76. Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers? Disney, if only because WB was repetitive. Disney has begun to branch into interesting territory.
77. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo? I don't have a favorite zoo-animal. If we could actually have them 'on display' without caging them, I'd love to watch blue whales.
78. Would you consider yourself to be romantic? In my own way, maybe.
79. If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off? No.
80. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it? I can't think of anything I would -really- sacrifice to do. Most of the things I like to do are available to me right now.
81. If you (and everyone) had to lose one right or freedom, but you could pick which one everyone had to lose, what would you pick? That's a tough one. I'd say the right to free practice of religion, simply because it's the one that society can do without. It's a form of expression, and that doesn't sit well with me, but... this is, after all, asking a question about which freedom I would take away. I can't think of any others that wouldn't have dire and immediate repercussions.
82. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole? Equator. The tropics interest me more than the arctic.
83. Would you rather give up listening to music or watching television? Watching television. Boy, that was easy!
84. What do you think makes someone a hero? Being at the right place at the right time with the right skill-set to be of use to the situation.
85. What cartoon would you like to be a character in? Aeon Flux, maybe?
86. Name one thing that turns your stomach: Cat-shit.
87. What was the last thing you paid for? A pizza at Papa John's.
88. Are you a coupon clipper? Nope.
89. Get anything good in the mail recently? $500 of computer parts from Newegg. (See #52)
90. Which would you rather take as a gym class...dancing, sailing, karate, or bowling? Sailing or Bowling.
91. In Star Trek people 'beam' back and forth between different places. What this means is they stand in a little tube and their molecules are deconstructed and sent to another tube somewhere else where they are reassembled. Only problem is when the molecules are deconstructed the person is dead. When they are put back together it is only a clone that has all the dead person's memories. So...
Is the person who gets beamed the same person on both ends? No. They are dead, and a copy of them has been assembled on the other end. Whatever consciousness there was in the 'transported' person has winked out and been replaced by a clone. This happens again when they are 'beamed back' aboard the ship. However, it completely assembles them, including memories up to the instant of transport, so the new copy "remembers" being transported, and appears lifelike to anyone that meets them afterward. It's horrific to contemplate, and I will absolutely never voluntarily enter such a device.
92. What insects are you afraid of? Ones that I know are poisonous, or ones that I know are liable to swarm.
93. If you could print any phrase on a T-shirt, what would it say? "Stop buying t-shirts with mediocre jokes on them."
94. What's the most eccentric thing you have ever worn? A floor-length, female-cut trenchcoat with pull-tight laces on either side.
95. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be? Probably pizza. For all that I don't go out of my way to eat -well-, I don't make a regular habit of eating things that are actually -bad- for me.
96. What are your parents interested in? The sedentary life. Reading the newspaper, watching their game-shows and police-chase videos, keeping up with their grandchildren.
97. Have you ever caught an insect and kept it as a pet? Nope.
Have you ever caught and tamed a wild animal? Nope.
98. What is more helpful to you, wishes or plans? Plans are formed to help us achieve our wishes, but without wishes, we wouldn't plan, so... wishes first, I suppose.
99. When do you feel your life energy the strongest? What?
100. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring? A high-powered shotgun, an insulated sleeping bag and an armored dome-tent.
*My grandmother is actually my father's adoptive mother, having adopted my father from her sister. Thus, 'my grandmother' is actually 'my great aunt,' making 'my grandfather' a great-uncle. Did you follow all that?