"Inspiration came at no cost this time. No drug, no cut, no thought...just conversation."~MD
"Too Late To Quit"
Takes all my might
To find a hole that feels right
To bury myself
In a deep sleep at night morning
I hear a voice
Coming from the hillside
Says I’ll show you the way
I will show you the lightor maybe that's just the wind
But I’m tiredexhausted
I’m tiredspent
I’m much too tiredmuch too much
I’m tiredtired
He’s says I know where you were headed
And you’re half way therestill have twice as far to go
But you’ve got to be carefuland by 'careful', you mean balls to the wall, right?
You’ve got to beware
Some people want to hurt youor you want to hurt yourself
Some people don’t carewhy should they?
But I’m never gonna give you
Any more than you can barenot any more, all the more
[chorus]
There’s nothing left here to rise aboveexcept the past
We’re not talking bout’ that kind of love
You’ve got people here counting on you
Now’s a good time
To learn how to pull throughaka 'crashcourse'...deal with it
Sometimes a good idea
Just isn’t enough
You’ve got to do the work
Now get your ass upfrom 7am to midnight
There isn’t really such a thing as bad luckexcept when it isn't good luck
Yeah, but once I shot an arrow
In the sky and it stuckwell aren'tspecial
[chorus]
You’ve got to keep movin’
You’ve got to keep pushin’
You’re never gonna get back
Anymore than you’re givin’so what is my all is less than what I get back?
Life is for the livingnope, no exisiting here, only living hardcore
You’ve got to be willin’even if it's killin' ya
A song ain’t a song
Until someone starts singin’
[chorus]
I've got no way to quit, and no where to go home. So this is it. This is life. And you're told, throughout your entire childhood, that when you're "off on your own", you'll know what really "living" is like and be so much wiser, kinder, and richer. Well I'm on my own, if this is living I don't know what I was ever looking forward too and I certainly hope it gets better than this because at this rate I only get around 1500 hrs per year of time that I am not "owned" by another company/person by which I am employeed. That's 18 hours a day, 5 days/week that I am enslaved. It's rough, but it will hopefully pay the bills. I feel like I lose any wiseness I may have previously acquired on a minute-by-minute basis on any given day, I am starting to feel down right venomous on a good day, and *strikes best seductress pose* I make poverty look fuckable. At this point, most of you who know me well would say "Atleast you get laid by a sex god at your every request and have a pair of safe/warm/buff/freckley arms to retreat to at the end of a very long day. And to that I say: I need some questions answered. This is sort of a make it or break it time. August was three years. The relationship is fantastic. We do exactly what the other needs ot have his or her necessities met. The sex is mindblowing. The cuddling is even better *watches mind scatter in little bits that the putty tat likes to bat around*. He cooks, I clean. We give each other space. Our financial strategies mesh very well. And for all the tears, sperm, energy and time that we've put in to this, I can't help but remember the old adage of "all good things must come to an end". I look at my grandparents who've been together fourty-six years with envy and my parents who have each been married more than three times with resentment. For Alex and I, this is somewhat of a "make it or break it" midpoint. I'm here, in NY, due in part to his presence. Not solely, or not even mostly, but it does have something to do with him. I think I have held up my end of the deal. Financially, it would be so much better if we lived together. And that is something I am going to need to ask of him soon. He wants to go home this summer, or has atleast considered it and suggests that I go home as well. Lest he forget I haven't a home to go back to. We've flirted insatiably with the idea of getting married. Looked at rings. Discussed buying houses, named our male child, built an entire state-of-the-art, Bouckaert envying barn. But I need some consecration. Don't be afraid of trusting me, what your mother/family might think, the wild oats you've never sowed, or your own inferiorities. You're not stupid, you're not ugly, you're more than I could have ever hoped to ensnar...er um commit to. We've lived in seperate states for the entirety of our relationship up to this point without any infidelity, aside from the misconstruction of a single lesbian incident, whatsoever. The stablity is there. I'm entire there. Commited with all the heart and soul and superfly body I have to commit...gee sounds sort of mental institutionesque, huh? So use those balls of yours and give something. Or give me away, so far far away.
"I speak in tongues, and mouths and kisses. Love, affection and free spirit. All the things one needs."!~MD aka killitallaway (Yes, I'm the quote stealingest bitch you'll find tonight! Much love, M.)
Takes all my might
To find a hole that feels right
To bury myself
In a deep sleep at night morning
I hear a voice
Coming from the hillside
Says I’ll show you the way
I will show you the lightor maybe that's just the wind
But I’m tiredexhausted
I’m tiredspent
I’m much too tiredmuch too much
I’m tiredtired
He’s says I know where you were headed
And you’re half way therestill have twice as far to go
But you’ve got to be carefuland by 'careful', you mean balls to the wall, right?
You’ve got to beware
Some people want to hurt youor you want to hurt yourself
Some people don’t carewhy should they?
But I’m never gonna give you
Any more than you can barenot any more, all the more
[chorus]
There’s nothing left here to rise aboveexcept the past
We’re not talking bout’ that kind of love
You’ve got people here counting on you
Now’s a good time
To learn how to pull throughaka 'crashcourse'...deal with it
Sometimes a good idea
Just isn’t enough
You’ve got to do the work
Now get your ass upfrom 7am to midnight
There isn’t really such a thing as bad luckexcept when it isn't good luck
Yeah, but once I shot an arrow
In the sky and it stuckwell aren'tspecial
[chorus]
You’ve got to keep movin’
You’ve got to keep pushin’
You’re never gonna get back
Anymore than you’re givin’so what is my all is less than what I get back?
Life is for the livingnope, no exisiting here, only living hardcore
You’ve got to be willin’even if it's killin' ya
A song ain’t a song
Until someone starts singin’
[chorus]
I've got no way to quit, and no where to go home. So this is it. This is life. And you're told, throughout your entire childhood, that when you're "off on your own", you'll know what really "living" is like and be so much wiser, kinder, and richer. Well I'm on my own, if this is living I don't know what I was ever looking forward too and I certainly hope it gets better than this because at this rate I only get around 1500 hrs per year of time that I am not "owned" by another company/person by which I am employeed. That's 18 hours a day, 5 days/week that I am enslaved. It's rough, but it will hopefully pay the bills. I feel like I lose any wiseness I may have previously acquired on a minute-by-minute basis on any given day, I am starting to feel down right venomous on a good day, and *strikes best seductress pose* I make poverty look fuckable. At this point, most of you who know me well would say "Atleast you get laid by a sex god at your every request and have a pair of safe/warm/buff/freckley arms to retreat to at the end of a very long day. And to that I say: I need some questions answered. This is sort of a make it or break it time. August was three years. The relationship is fantastic. We do exactly what the other needs ot have his or her necessities met. The sex is mindblowing. The cuddling is even better *watches mind scatter in little bits that the putty tat likes to bat around*. He cooks, I clean. We give each other space. Our financial strategies mesh very well. And for all the tears, sperm, energy and time that we've put in to this, I can't help but remember the old adage of "all good things must come to an end". I look at my grandparents who've been together fourty-six years with envy and my parents who have each been married more than three times with resentment. For Alex and I, this is somewhat of a "make it or break it" midpoint. I'm here, in NY, due in part to his presence. Not solely, or not even mostly, but it does have something to do with him. I think I have held up my end of the deal. Financially, it would be so much better if we lived together. And that is something I am going to need to ask of him soon. He wants to go home this summer, or has atleast considered it and suggests that I go home as well. Lest he forget I haven't a home to go back to. We've flirted insatiably with the idea of getting married. Looked at rings. Discussed buying houses, named our male child, built an entire state-of-the-art, Bouckaert envying barn. But I need some consecration. Don't be afraid of trusting me, what your mother/family might think, the wild oats you've never sowed, or your own inferiorities. You're not stupid, you're not ugly, you're more than I could have ever hoped to ensnar...er um commit to. We've lived in seperate states for the entirety of our relationship up to this point without any infidelity, aside from the misconstruction of a single lesbian incident, whatsoever. The stablity is there. I'm entire there. Commited with all the heart and soul and superfly body I have to commit...gee sounds sort of mental institutionesque, huh? So use those balls of yours and give something. Or give me away, so far far away.
"I speak in tongues, and mouths and kisses. Love, affection and free spirit. All the things one needs."!~MD aka killitallaway (Yes, I'm the quote stealingest bitch you'll find tonight! Much love, M.)