"All I know..."
So, grad school update:
I offically have withdrawn my application from Western Michigan. Three months ago, if someone had told me that I'd be withdrawing an application I would have told them that they were completely insane. Weird how things work out, isn't it? Anyway, I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed by all of this -- interviews, visits, the whole idea that I'll be at this program for 5-6 years, etc. I figure, that if I had interview at WMich, and I had gotten in, that I still would have gone to Buffalo over WMich, so what's the point in stressing myself out more by interviewing at a program that I probably wouldn't have gone to anyway? This way, I have more time to prepare for my final -- I hope -- two interviews, at SUNY at Albany and St. Louis University. I have to say, I am completely shocked by being invited to interview at Albany... shocked, but thrilled. I really hope that it goes well!!!! That is this coming Saturday (the beginning of my Spring Break) and St. Louis is the following Thursday, so I'll be flying to St. Louis Thursday morning, staying for a night, and flying home Friday morning. I'll be so happy when this is all over.
Also, I visited Buffalo last weekend for their recruitment weekend. All in all, I really really loved it, and could totally see myself there, and happy! I loved Dr. Beck (who would be my mentor), I loved the other grad students in her lab, I loved the grad students that would be in my cohort, and I actually sort of liked Buffalo as a city as well! The one thing that freaked me out a bit is the amount of time that they all devote to the program; basically, everyone spends 8am to 7 or 8pm, 6 days a week on campus doing work. Phew. But, I know that I could handle it, and I would be SO prepared for a career and SO set to get a fantastic job once I was done with the program, so in the end, it would all be worth it... hard, tough work, but worth it :)
With all of this grad school stuff on my mind, I've been pretty distracted. Add to that me being distracted and confused about a boy -- in typical Lindsey fashion -- and you have a very distracted me. As a junior and senior, I've been VERY behaved when it comes to men, which is a huge change from freshman and sophomore year (no need to get into that, though, hehehe). Anyway, this semester especially, I've had feelings for a good friend of mine here, which I've been trying to forget about because as I've learned, that always ends horribly... boy, have I learned that, lol. So then, out of the blue, this boy who I think is adorable and extremely quirky and interesting and unusual expresses interest in me. My initial reaction is "aww, how sweet... but probably not." However, we hung out one night, had a really awesome conversation, and hooked up. And now, I'm confused. And pissed. And I think that I do really like this guy. But I don't want to, for so so so so many reasons, and that is totally distracting me -- not only me trying to figure out how I feel about him, but also me trying to figure out why I think that I shouldn't like him. I won't talk more about this, because it's probably boring, and we'll probablly go away for Spring Break and come back and it will be like none of this ever happened.
Enough of my ramblings... I'm going to go. Send me good thoughts on Saturday!!!!
Love,
Lindz
"so I'm walking down the avenue
holding on so tight to what I said to you
in between my jaw and my belly where it burns
is what I meant to do
taking it in take a hit on the chin
keep your chin up, nothing's forever
you can never know
you know how love goes"
(Syd)
I offically have withdrawn my application from Western Michigan. Three months ago, if someone had told me that I'd be withdrawing an application I would have told them that they were completely insane. Weird how things work out, isn't it? Anyway, I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed by all of this -- interviews, visits, the whole idea that I'll be at this program for 5-6 years, etc. I figure, that if I had interview at WMich, and I had gotten in, that I still would have gone to Buffalo over WMich, so what's the point in stressing myself out more by interviewing at a program that I probably wouldn't have gone to anyway? This way, I have more time to prepare for my final -- I hope -- two interviews, at SUNY at Albany and St. Louis University. I have to say, I am completely shocked by being invited to interview at Albany... shocked, but thrilled. I really hope that it goes well!!!! That is this coming Saturday (the beginning of my Spring Break) and St. Louis is the following Thursday, so I'll be flying to St. Louis Thursday morning, staying for a night, and flying home Friday morning. I'll be so happy when this is all over.
Also, I visited Buffalo last weekend for their recruitment weekend. All in all, I really really loved it, and could totally see myself there, and happy! I loved Dr. Beck (who would be my mentor), I loved the other grad students in her lab, I loved the grad students that would be in my cohort, and I actually sort of liked Buffalo as a city as well! The one thing that freaked me out a bit is the amount of time that they all devote to the program; basically, everyone spends 8am to 7 or 8pm, 6 days a week on campus doing work. Phew. But, I know that I could handle it, and I would be SO prepared for a career and SO set to get a fantastic job once I was done with the program, so in the end, it would all be worth it... hard, tough work, but worth it :)
With all of this grad school stuff on my mind, I've been pretty distracted. Add to that me being distracted and confused about a boy -- in typical Lindsey fashion -- and you have a very distracted me. As a junior and senior, I've been VERY behaved when it comes to men, which is a huge change from freshman and sophomore year (no need to get into that, though, hehehe). Anyway, this semester especially, I've had feelings for a good friend of mine here, which I've been trying to forget about because as I've learned, that always ends horribly... boy, have I learned that, lol. So then, out of the blue, this boy who I think is adorable and extremely quirky and interesting and unusual expresses interest in me. My initial reaction is "aww, how sweet... but probably not." However, we hung out one night, had a really awesome conversation, and hooked up. And now, I'm confused. And pissed. And I think that I do really like this guy. But I don't want to, for so so so so many reasons, and that is totally distracting me -- not only me trying to figure out how I feel about him, but also me trying to figure out why I think that I shouldn't like him. I won't talk more about this, because it's probably boring, and we'll probablly go away for Spring Break and come back and it will be like none of this ever happened.
Enough of my ramblings... I'm going to go. Send me good thoughts on Saturday!!!!
Love,
Lindz
"so I'm walking down the avenue
holding on so tight to what I said to you
in between my jaw and my belly where it burns
is what I meant to do
taking it in take a hit on the chin
keep your chin up, nothing's forever
you can never know
you know how love goes"
(Syd)