clothing and memories
I'm going to a fat clothing swap this evening (details below). I have cleaned out my bedroom closet AND the coat closet. I had no idea I had so much outerwear! I need to make that closet more accessible which will take some wotk with the roommates. My bedroom closet now has rooms for all my sweaters to be folded (I hate hanger stretch-marks in sweater shoulders) and I have all my tops and bottoms separated by length. It makes me smile to look at it. I plan on keeping up with it. As far as "keeping up" goes, it isn't the closet that is the biggest problem, but everything that comes OUT of the closet and winds up on every other surface in the room. Isn't that what service submissives are for? Yes, I believe so.
Digging into the deep crevices of the closet I found so much of Sunny's stuff. Well, it is my stuff now, but looking at each piece floods me with memories of my dearly-departed best friend. I'm happy to wrap myself in her pinstripe Torrid dress and walk in her Fluevog heels...I know she would be pleased, and if the situation were reversed, I know that I would want my fat and fabulous friends to fashionably live on in my honor.
I've done my share of wrapping myself in her sweater and collapsing onto the floor in a weepy heap, aching for her arms, but last night was different. I was in full-purge mode, only wanting to keep things that 1) fit properly NOW, 2) look fabulous on me , and 3) just hold too much memory for me to let go. I did pretty good, boxing up memories, reflecting one last time on where I wore an outfit, or where Sunny, or Grandma, or Mom, wore something. Let those fibers live on with a new owner and fresh love! I kept *just a few* things that really don't fit perfectly, but, y'know, are still in that, "well, maybe someday" category. I found some stuff in the way back that still had Sunny's glitter on it. I tried to smell her in, but her scent has faded, even though her SHINE still remains. I tapped the glitter onto the other clothes I'm giving away as a way of passing on some fat fairy fabulousness to the new owners. I don't wear glitter very often, so when I find a random fleck on my cheek picking up the light, I imagine that it is a little Sunny kiss and it warms me. Spread the love.
I miss her sweet, giggly, femmey girlyfriendness so so so fucking much. Deeeeep ache. I'm grateful that the thought of her can leave me warm and smiley now instead of just wrecked.
What a world.
**********
Nothing to wear? Need something new? Too much in your
closet?
VENUS ENVY:
A Clothing Swap For Curvacious Women Sizes 14 and up
a queer, genderqueer, and trans friendly space
Where: Eureka Valley Recreation Center, 100
Collingwood st at 18th St
between Castro and Diamond in the Castro District of
San Francisco. It
is easily accessed by the Castro MUNI station, the 24,
the 33, and the
F line. EVRC is wheelchair accessible. They are
generously donating
their space for this event!
** When: Friday April 21st, 5pm to 9pm.**
Bring: clothes and flyers for your size positive
community events or
organizations!
(no one turned away for lack of clothes).
For more information email VenusEnvySF@gmail.com
or look at www.VenusEnvySF.blogspot.com
Digging into the deep crevices of the closet I found so much of Sunny's stuff. Well, it is my stuff now, but looking at each piece floods me with memories of my dearly-departed best friend. I'm happy to wrap myself in her pinstripe Torrid dress and walk in her Fluevog heels...I know she would be pleased, and if the situation were reversed, I know that I would want my fat and fabulous friends to fashionably live on in my honor.
I've done my share of wrapping myself in her sweater and collapsing onto the floor in a weepy heap, aching for her arms, but last night was different. I was in full-purge mode, only wanting to keep things that 1) fit properly NOW, 2) look fabulous on me , and 3) just hold too much memory for me to let go. I did pretty good, boxing up memories, reflecting one last time on where I wore an outfit, or where Sunny, or Grandma, or Mom, wore something. Let those fibers live on with a new owner and fresh love! I kept *just a few* things that really don't fit perfectly, but, y'know, are still in that, "well, maybe someday" category. I found some stuff in the way back that still had Sunny's glitter on it. I tried to smell her in, but her scent has faded, even though her SHINE still remains. I tapped the glitter onto the other clothes I'm giving away as a way of passing on some fat fairy fabulousness to the new owners. I don't wear glitter very often, so when I find a random fleck on my cheek picking up the light, I imagine that it is a little Sunny kiss and it warms me. Spread the love.
I miss her sweet, giggly, femmey girlyfriendness so so so fucking much. Deeeeep ache. I'm grateful that the thought of her can leave me warm and smiley now instead of just wrecked.
What a world.
**********
Nothing to wear? Need something new? Too much in your
closet?
VENUS ENVY:
A Clothing Swap For Curvacious Women Sizes 14 and up
a queer, genderqueer, and trans friendly space
Where: Eureka Valley Recreation Center, 100
Collingwood st at 18th St
between Castro and Diamond in the Castro District of
San Francisco. It
is easily accessed by the Castro MUNI station, the 24,
the 33, and the
F line. EVRC is wheelchair accessible. They are
generously donating
their space for this event!
** When: Friday April 21st, 5pm to 9pm.**
Bring: clothes and flyers for your size positive
community events or
organizations!
(no one turned away for lack of clothes).
For more information email VenusEnvySF@gmail.com
or look at www.VenusEnvySF.blogspot.com