here
I'm restless and I'm not sure why.
I always complain, but inwardly I'm a very happy person. Obviously things go wrong and I get stressed, but I'm hardly ever like really unhappy. I wonder why I complain so much.
So excited to go home... it will definitely be a different thanksgiving though. As in, the first one of my entire life that my dad will not be there for (because he's going to vegas). I try not to be angry about it, but if there's one thing I was ever taught it's that your family is the most important thing and being together is all you really need. Unfortunatly, that isn't always the case anymore. So I'm going to my family's house... by myself. It just frustrates me is all.
I've been doing things a little more right lately. I'm not doing much school work, just kind of coasting... and at this point, I'm ok with that. I'm going to not overload my classes next semester. The RA thing is going ok- I'm leaving my door open and spending time with people on my floor. Terps takes up half my life... I ran rehearsal tonight because my MD was at mixing and she asked me to, because I think it's just kind of understood that I'll take the job next year... but that's a lot of pressure and I'm not sure I want it because I'm not sure I'm qualified and I don't like being in charge of my friends. But tonight went ok I guess, hopefully it will get easier- I just don't want to do it because I'm afraid of being bad at it.
The current boy who is not, contrary to popular belief, my boyfriend, and I are not talking. We didn't stop talking- we just havent talked in like 3 days. And I'm not gonna lie, it makes me upset. Because I think into everything far too much. I guess we'll clear it up over break.
I feel so restless and I don't know why.
I always complain, but inwardly I'm a very happy person. Obviously things go wrong and I get stressed, but I'm hardly ever like really unhappy. I wonder why I complain so much.
So excited to go home... it will definitely be a different thanksgiving though. As in, the first one of my entire life that my dad will not be there for (because he's going to vegas). I try not to be angry about it, but if there's one thing I was ever taught it's that your family is the most important thing and being together is all you really need. Unfortunatly, that isn't always the case anymore. So I'm going to my family's house... by myself. It just frustrates me is all.
I've been doing things a little more right lately. I'm not doing much school work, just kind of coasting... and at this point, I'm ok with that. I'm going to not overload my classes next semester. The RA thing is going ok- I'm leaving my door open and spending time with people on my floor. Terps takes up half my life... I ran rehearsal tonight because my MD was at mixing and she asked me to, because I think it's just kind of understood that I'll take the job next year... but that's a lot of pressure and I'm not sure I want it because I'm not sure I'm qualified and I don't like being in charge of my friends. But tonight went ok I guess, hopefully it will get easier- I just don't want to do it because I'm afraid of being bad at it.
The current boy who is not, contrary to popular belief, my boyfriend, and I are not talking. We didn't stop talking- we just havent talked in like 3 days. And I'm not gonna lie, it makes me upset. Because I think into everything far too much. I guess we'll clear it up over break.
I feel so restless and I don't know why.