Small children may not need to be blindfolded.
I was having a quiet evening at home, watching shitty movies starring cute actors, when there was a knock on the door.
I checked through the peephole: no one was visible. I was back on the couch when the knock came again. This time, I opened the door.
I was surprised when the FanLib Piñata trundled in.
Perhaps you've heard Piñata was callously used and cast aside by pink dude and blue guy.
I should have consoled the paper-maché burro. He's on the rebound; he's vulnerable. But there is something about Piñata’s eyes that say, "Hurt me."
When I invited him into my bedroom, I was thinking of providing more than a shoulder to cry on.
"Nice camo sheets," Piñata said. "Do you like to play Army?"
"Why, yes," I said. "Do you like to play overworked beast of burden?"
I needed no more encouragement. I put my 18-hour chill mix on the stereo, and fetched us two glasses of punch.
When I joined Piñata on the bed, I saw a tag on his shoulder. Trying not to be obvious, I read it.
SAFETY TIPS: Use under adult supervision. Use only with piñata whacker, not broom handles or wooden sticks. Make sure all players remain 20 feet (6.1 meters) away from the swinging piñata whacker. Players must gently put down the piñata whacker before rushing to get treats. Keep away from open fires.
"Good thing I skipped the candles," I thought.
Blindfold each Player in turn and guide him to the piñata. Each child gets one or two turns to hit and try to break the piñata. Small children may not need to be blindfolded.
Looking relaxed, Piñata sipped punch.
"Piñata, you seem more pastel than I remember," I said, and immediately castigated myself. I wasn't sure how sensitive he was about his appearance, especially after FanLib replaced his ad with Kirk/Picard.
"FanLib photoshopped me," Piñata said. "Primary colors are more appealing to men. They wanted me to be butch."
"Gosh, that's terrible. I like the real you better," I said, wondering what I had around the house that could serve as a piñata whacker.
Piñata smiled. At least I think he did.
But before I could offer him healing sex, the unavoidable occurred: a Manx cat became curious.
"The bed is her territory," I said brightly. "She just wants to say hello."
Piñata smiled again, but I could tell the moment had been ruined.
Once again, a potential bed partner had discovered too soon I am a crazy cat lady.
After sniffing around, the cat perched on her stairs, which Piñata had used to get up on the bed.
His retreat was cut off.
It was at that moment I bowed to the inevitable.
Sorry, Piñata!
I closed the door behind me and turned the chill mix up loud.
The End?
Includes photos. BEVERAGE WARNING.
I checked through the peephole: no one was visible. I was back on the couch when the knock came again. This time, I opened the door.
I was surprised when the FanLib Piñata trundled in.
Perhaps you've heard Piñata was callously used and cast aside by pink dude and blue guy.
I should have consoled the paper-maché burro. He's on the rebound; he's vulnerable. But there is something about Piñata’s eyes that say, "Hurt me."
When I invited him into my bedroom, I was thinking of providing more than a shoulder to cry on.
"Nice camo sheets," Piñata said. "Do you like to play Army?"
"Why, yes," I said. "Do you like to play overworked beast of burden?"
I needed no more encouragement. I put my 18-hour chill mix on the stereo, and fetched us two glasses of punch.
When I joined Piñata on the bed, I saw a tag on his shoulder. Trying not to be obvious, I read it.
SAFETY TIPS: Use under adult supervision. Use only with piñata whacker, not broom handles or wooden sticks. Make sure all players remain 20 feet (6.1 meters) away from the swinging piñata whacker. Players must gently put down the piñata whacker before rushing to get treats. Keep away from open fires.
"Good thing I skipped the candles," I thought.
Blindfold each Player in turn and guide him to the piñata. Each child gets one or two turns to hit and try to break the piñata. Small children may not need to be blindfolded.
Looking relaxed, Piñata sipped punch.
"Piñata, you seem more pastel than I remember," I said, and immediately castigated myself. I wasn't sure how sensitive he was about his appearance, especially after FanLib replaced his ad with Kirk/Picard.
"FanLib photoshopped me," Piñata said. "Primary colors are more appealing to men. They wanted me to be butch."
"Gosh, that's terrible. I like the real you better," I said, wondering what I had around the house that could serve as a piñata whacker.
Piñata smiled. At least I think he did.
But before I could offer him healing sex, the unavoidable occurred: a Manx cat became curious.
"The bed is her territory," I said brightly. "She just wants to say hello."
Piñata smiled again, but I could tell the moment had been ruined.
Once again, a potential bed partner had discovered too soon I am a crazy cat lady.
After sniffing around, the cat perched on her stairs, which Piñata had used to get up on the bed.
His retreat was cut off.
It was at that moment I bowed to the inevitable.
Sorry, Piñata!
I closed the door behind me and turned the chill mix up loud.
The End?
Includes photos. BEVERAGE WARNING.