(no subject)
☹ I have been down here a couple of hours. I should stop thinking cuz every time I think I get down and depressed. I know why I just cant said much of it. Some of its about or affects people who read this and I don’t want anyone to get mad or feel weird cuz of what I say. The things I cant say, when the time is right (if ever) I will tell them what it is. One major thing that has me down is the amount of friends I don’t or cant talk to anymore. Like Patty I cant talk to her and that kills me cuz we use to be really tight. I miss her. Also Brittany I havent seen or heard from in a while but it could be my fault but hey there is other part of that I’m not going in to. I lost Jerry there for awhile. But we are talking more here lately. Also I feel me and Angie arent as close as we use to be. Things are changing and I don’t want them too. Also I have thought about the past and thats another story cuz I don’t want some people that read this to know. I’m sorry but there are certain people I trust more cuz they have told me more and trusted me. I have one fear in life that I cant seem to get over and thats a fear of being alone in life. I fear that so bad and it comes to mind when I’m alone in my room. I get scared. I hate that kind of scared. I have nightmares where I grow up alone and I don’t want that. I always want someone I can turn to and have there to talk to. Life has changed so much for me over the years and in ways I didnt want it to. I have had some really low times here lately but really some things are working out for me like my mom finding a way to keep me here and me getting a job. I have grown closer to Kara and damn glad of that. She is so much like me its scary. There are other parts that arent working out for me but wish would. Jerry thanx for talking to me earlier. You actually made me laugh a little. Well gotta go! Love you all! TTYL!
Love always,
Beth
Love always,
Beth