what you need is guranteed, the deepest dream we have could be
the next dillema.
i'm thinking of what i should do when i grow up/where to apply for college.
its only natural to be thinking about this at this point in time and i know that.
as of now i wanna do the clive jones school for recorded music. its exactly what i wanna do, and its the first school in the country to offer a program like the one i'm looking for. the only scary thing about it is its a part of tisch at nyu, so it may be for really awesome kids, and not me cuz i'm not awesome.
my parents are being completely unsupportive of this, and thats because they'd totally rather have me spend my whole life after college working in a cubicle doing the same shit every day till i die/kill myself when i realize my job SUCKS.
all rants aside, as of now i think i'd rather be unstable and doing something that i like just because i'd be satisfied. my question, "what if?" would be answered. i personally am the type of person who can't live with a "what if?" all my life. this what if is making me extremely (and clinically) depressed at the moment, and i can't afford to live with it all my life.
i just need to focus on school for now, thats all i know. what happened today with french should really not be happening anymore and good results such as the ones i receieved in math today should not be an excuse to stop working. today overall was kinda bad, because i lost the battle with myself to get hold of my schoolwork.
with time, and a clearer mind (obtained by organization and lack of stress because of various new approaches i have taken in my life) i will be able to have a better understanding of what i want to do with my future and whether i'm ready, as a teenager to make these decisions that will affect the rest of my life.
peace out
i'm thinking of what i should do when i grow up/where to apply for college.
its only natural to be thinking about this at this point in time and i know that.
as of now i wanna do the clive jones school for recorded music. its exactly what i wanna do, and its the first school in the country to offer a program like the one i'm looking for. the only scary thing about it is its a part of tisch at nyu, so it may be for really awesome kids, and not me cuz i'm not awesome.
my parents are being completely unsupportive of this, and thats because they'd totally rather have me spend my whole life after college working in a cubicle doing the same shit every day till i die/kill myself when i realize my job SUCKS.
all rants aside, as of now i think i'd rather be unstable and doing something that i like just because i'd be satisfied. my question, "what if?" would be answered. i personally am the type of person who can't live with a "what if?" all my life. this what if is making me extremely (and clinically) depressed at the moment, and i can't afford to live with it all my life.
i just need to focus on school for now, thats all i know. what happened today with french should really not be happening anymore and good results such as the ones i receieved in math today should not be an excuse to stop working. today overall was kinda bad, because i lost the battle with myself to get hold of my schoolwork.
with time, and a clearer mind (obtained by organization and lack of stress because of various new approaches i have taken in my life) i will be able to have a better understanding of what i want to do with my future and whether i'm ready, as a teenager to make these decisions that will affect the rest of my life.
peace out