..did you ever feel the pain of the morning rain?
the hard part of exams are over. math and history. i'm overjoyed. tomorrows sculpture and english. that'll be fair, i'm thinking. with my grandma here from FL, jake in medical turmoil, the usual repulsive me, and my argumentive parents it's been almost impossible to study and go in for testing with a clear mind. my mother is so irritated, and i know she has a right with all the unnecessary news this week, but i just want to kick her. she's taking it out on everybody right now as she usually does. "did you do your sisters graduation invitations or are you too busy STILL?" grr. i hate her sarcasm. it twists my nerves so much. she's doing a cleaning everything rampage and taking me along, as usual, too. grr. grr. i'm pissed off. i hate today. it's been shitty. rainy. annoying. chaotic. just plain grr. i hate knowing i can never just sit and relax. i always have to be doing something or im useless. summer isn't even a getaway now w/ jakes presented issue. hawaii is suppose to be a joyful event. why can't anything ever go smoothly? why can't jakes cancer magically disappear. i feel like i can feel his pain myself. and when i look at him it's as if i can see the cancer in him and i just want to rip it out and save him, considering the vets said there is nothing to stop the spread or even lengthening the time he has left. who wants to wait around? not me. well i'm going to take a nap.