(no subject)

[life_giver]

[ How I'm feeling|
Sleepy D:<]
[ What I'm listening to| Breathe Me | Sia & How to be a heartbreaker | Marina and the diamonds

Title: The devil wears Prada, Gucci, and sometimes Dior (1/3)
Pairings: Reita/Ruki
Warnings: Just language and sexual situations as always.
Rating: NC-17
Notes: Sequel to Don't hesitate & go but could be read as a stand-alone.
Summary: "I'm the devil and for some reason you still want me." Ruki's whispered words against his hip that long ago night had been like fire against his skin, hot and sensual. But the words themselves, what they alluded to, had had Reita holding Ruki away from him, pulling fingers through sweat soaked hair until Ruki was looking up at him as he knelt in front of Reita, ready to defile him.



Dark designer sunglasses were pushed onto a perfect nose as that painted mouth tilted into a self-satisfied smirk. Reita knew that look well, knew it well enough to be wary of it. Behind those damnable Bvlgari sunglasses, Ruki was always unreadable, blank.....black, and all Reita saw in those sunglasses was the reflection of his own face twisted in uncertainty.

But Ruki's mouth, it was a mirror to a myriad of emotions, each one tumultuous and confusing. Today, Ruki's lips were a mocking shade of deep red and Reita would have laughed at the irony of it all, but really, there was nothing funny about any of this...ever. Those lips were usually naked in the public eye, but they'd come here from a photo-shoot of sorts and Ruki hadn't bothered to wipe his mouth bare. There was something just a bit sadistic about that that only he and Ruki would understand. Ruki turned his head away from him and that smirk turned friendly and innocent, engaging, it's earlier sarcastic tilt gone completely.

"I want it in black." Ruki told the lady behind the counter, his tone just a little clipped, a little annoyed, but only Reita would have caught Ruki's bad mood with that killer smile full of perfect teeth set firmly in place and his narrowed eyes hidden. The lady smiled in return and took away the white wallet she had placed on the counter between them.

"And I ordered it in a specific design. Check the order again. I could have gotten this elsewhere but I heard you were the people to go to," Ruki went on, pleasantly annoyed. The lady's smile faltered a little as she set down a black wallet of some name-brand that Reita couldn't pronounce in his mother tongue, and didn't particularly feel like trying to pronounce anyway.

When it came to throwing down loads of Reita's own cash for the best, it was for video games, sneakers, and equipment, not branded wallets and gold rings. Reita resisted the urge to roll his eyes as Ruki's hands moved to brush aside the lapels of his new lamb leather jacket. What ever the hell lamb leather was, Reita had no idea, but Ruki had whispered the name of the fabric like a prayer in the clothing store and Reita had had to buy dinner that night, so he knew it was something ridiculously expensive. Ruki's hands slid to his hips beneath the jacket and he shifted his weight from one money clad foot to the other restlessly as the woman once again took the wallet away and disappeared back into the archway behind the counter.

"Don't be an ass," Reita muttered beneath his breath and he could just imagine the glare in Ruki's eyes behind those sunglasses as Ruki turned to him with that damnable smile.

"I'm not being an ass. I've basically dumped a barrel of hard earned cash over their heads for this thing and I expect to be satisfied. Besides, this is quality stuff," Ruki explained with a small huff and turned back to the counter as the lady returned, smile less sure and as forged as Ruki's own. She set down a black wallet with silver trim in an edgy design that spoke Ruki in volumes.

"Why couldn't you have just designed it yourself and called it a day? It would have been cheaper with our own people. It's what you usually do." Reita spoke more to himself as Ruki became preoccupied with picking the wallet up and holding it up to the light and turning it this way and that way in a staged fashion as if he couldn't decide if it was to his liking or not just yet.

"Do you need a magnifying glass?" Reita chuckled and received another of those hidden glares. He shrugged in response, not caring that Ruki was probably ready to cuff him on the side of the head or shove that expensive wallet down his throat for being an ass. He'd been tugged around all day, forced to smile and nod as Ruki modeled clothing and had endless flings in several shops, and once in a while let Reita slink away for coffee to rest his feet. This wasn't a hobby or even an obsession for Ruki, this was a fucking Olympic sport.

"I don't know why I bring you along when I shop when all you do is bitch and moan, " Ruki muttered and set the wallet back down on the counter.

"I'll take it," He told the woman and she couldn't have snatched the wallet up and wrapped it in tissue paper fast enough. She practically threw it into one of the stores little black and gold monogrammed bags and shoved it towards Ruki. Reita couldn't find any reason to blame her for wanting to get rid of Ruki.

"I guess we have something in common after all." Reita knew he was pushing it when he went on this way. It was like pulling Ruki's perfectly styled hair repeatedly and not expecting to get punched in the face for it. Ruki had no qualms with sinking his teeth into delicate skin when it came down to it. But Ruki only smiled at Reita in that maddening way of his and readjusted his sunglasses.

"Besides being an ass?" Ruki retorted scathingly. He slipped the little black bag over his wrist, gave the woman behind the counter one last, catty smile and then strode out, not even waiting for Reita to follow. Reita almost wanted to shuffle his feet and apologize for Ruki to the defeated looking saleswoman but then thought better of it and began to trail Ruki out of the store and out onto the sidewalk.

If he had a nickle for every time he'd felt compelled to apologize on Ruki's behalf, he'd own half the country. Ruki was a pure devil when he wanted to be and the devil did as he liked, when he liked, how he liked, without regard to what anyone thought.

"At least Uruha and Aoi just stand there making fun of people behind their backs. They make me laugh. And Aoi at least has style," Ruki continued on babbling as usual with Reita kicking at loose things on the sidewalk and his hearing tuning in before staticing out again when Ruki decided to drone on.

"-Which is more than I can say for some people." Ruki looked back over his shoulder and his gaze traversed Reita's body from head to toe, almost snobbishly before he turned back around and quickened his step.

Reita's feelings weren't hurt in the least bit at Ruki's catty comments or dismissive attitude. He'd known worse, felt worse, and they were going to be late for dinner again. That was the only thought in his mind as he followed Ruki down to the subway. You poked a wound hard enough and long enough, it all eventually became a mass of numbness that would only throb here and there occasionally. A twinge....nothing more. There were times to take Ruki seriously, and times to roll one's eyes when he wasn't looking.

Reita pulled himself up into the writhing mass of people on the train and pressed close behind Ruki, a familiar position in other circumstances. Ruki had craned his head around to look at him and was still going on about something or other, but Reita only caught snippets, something about a meeting, shoes, and Kai's name was thrown into the air at one point.

Reita nodded, held on tight to the pole next to him, and focused on the way Ruki's mouth moved, quickly, precisely, and if he let his mind run away with him as it usually did....sensually. Suddenly he was back at Ruki's place, submerged in what Ruki called a bathtub but was more a swimming pool to him with Ruki pressing naked lips to his naked chest, lashes fluttering against his skin like moth wings as Ruki peered up at him.

"Do you want me?" Ruki had whispered. Reita had shuddered and once he had started shuddering, he couldn't stop, or even answer Ruki's whispered words. He had wanted nothing more since the day he'd met Ruki but to have him completely. But wanting....needing someone and not being needed in return, it was the difference between weakness and power. Ruki's tongue had run flat against his stomach, all the while keeping him locked in a sultry gaze that only Ruki could weld.

"What would you do for me?" Another whisper as Reita's fingers tangled light blonde hair between his fingers. Tomorrow that hair would be dark black, maybe deep red, maybe both. Ruki was a master at driving his hairdressers crazy with his 'sudden whims'.

"Anything," Reita had muttered, heart racing and stumbling before his mind could catch up and hold him back. They had always known their places anyway. Weakness, power, they knew these well.

"Anything?" There had been too much pleasure, too much condescension behind Ruki's tone that night, and Reita had known he'd been firmly set down on their chess board in a vulnerable position, open and unguarded. It had always been a losing game, but now more so than ever before.

"Reita. Hey, I've been pulling on you for the last minute. We're about to get trampled to death." Ruki's insistent voice broke through the murky reminiscence he'd found himself stumbling into more often these days and Reita was embarrassed to find that he was still hanging onto the pole in front of him and staring blankly at Ruki. Ruki gave him a perplexed expression that soon turned to annoyance and then utter dismissal.

"Come on," Ruki urged, pulling hard and when Reita looked down between them, he found Ruki's hand curled tightly around his fingers. The rings on Ruki's hand dug into his skin as he let himself be dragged from the subway and back out onto the street.

"Slow down. You'd think you were taller than me with how fast you walk sometimes." Reita chuckled and received another scathing glare as Ruki only walked on faster.

"Why don't you hurry up? You're always so slow," Ruki muttered, fingers tightening their hold on Reita's hand. Even as he struggled to keep up with Ruki's hurried pace, Reita felt a secret pleasure at the fact that Ruki was holding his hand.....in public....out where anyone with a camera could press a button and they'd be front page and center. Gazette's vocalist and bassist spotted hurrying along Tokyo's busy streets holding hands.

Of course it wouldn't be cause for scandal. Some people would find it only a gesture of affection, others would talk, but everyone would see. And before a year or so ago, Ruki wouldn't have been caught dead holding Reita's hand where anyone could see them. Affections like that had once been strictly forbidden except behind closed doors. And so Reita continued to grin and allowed himself to be pulled along, conscious all the while of Ruki's thumbnail caressing the back of his hand.

*************

"Do it again," Ruki whispered, his eyes lidded as he looked down at Reita where he knelt on the floor in front of him. Ruki had that look of quiet desperation on his face that Reita adored, yearned to see, because it meant that Ruki was slowly losing his grip on the control he craved.

Ruki bit hard into his bottom lip as Reita leaned forward and slowly drew his tongue flat against Ruki's nipple again, his hands holding Ruki's hips down in the chair as they strained forward once more. Ruki's nostrils flared and Reita felt one of Ruki's boots slide against the side of his leg and hit the ground, testimony to Ruki's frustration.

"You wanted this," Reita reminded him with a slow grin. He let his thumbs caress the sharp lines of Ruki's hip bones where they jutted out just slightly as Ruki sank down low in the chair and then arched his back....just so....

"I do," Ruki breathed out, and another tremble traversed his body. Reita held back a groan as he felt his cock strain against his pants at how erotic Ruki looked at that moment.

"Tease me. I don't care if I claw at you and tell you to stop. Don't listen to me. I want you to drive me crazy," Ruki had whispered into his ear that morning during a very long winded speech from their manager at the weekly meeting. Reita's face had flushed but he couldn't help the smile that had spread across his face at Ruki's sudden demand. Uruha had mouthed a very nosy "What's going on?" from across the room, but Reita had ignored him in favor of Ruki's hand against his thigh.

"You're already crazy," He had whispered with a chuckle that had been cut off as Ruki's hand slid home between his legs, confirming Reita's statement.

Reita's lips closed around the nipple he had licked and then his teeth nicked it gently. Ruki's breathing hitched and Reita felt fire rush through his body as Ruki emitted a sharp "Ah." and then groaned softly, his hips undulating beneath Reita's hands.

Ruki's little cries of pleasure were few and far between and were jewels to Reita when he was finally awarded them. Ruki liked to groan, to moan low and long as if he were in pain. And though every sound out of Ruki's mouth was an erotic crescendo, when his body twitched suddenly and he cried out in a moment of unhinged pleasure, Reita had to pull himself back from coming too soon.

He let his lips travel down the long expanse of Ruki's smooth chest and stomach, stopping long enough to dip his tongue into his navel. All the while, Reita kept his eyes trained to Ruki's face, and got off on the way Ruki tilted his head back and squeezed his eyes closed tight, teeth scraping his wet bottom lip, his hands pulling his hair back away from his face and then clutching it during another one of body's treacherous spasms.

"Reita....." Ruki gasped out when Reita allowed his hand to slide over the bulge in those pretty designer jeans of his. Gucci. Jeans that probably had cost some people's entire pay checks. Reita knew better than to forcefully rip them off of him, even though that was exactly what was playing through his mind at that moment. Ruki was warm and hard in his palm as he cupped him and let his teeth sink into his hip.

"You're driving me crazy," Ruki whispered heatedly, his hand finding it's way into Reita's hair. Ruki's fingers threaded through unmade strands of bottle dyed blonde caressingly.

"Good." Reita breathed in slowly and his eyes closed for a moment, reveling in the feel of Ruki's fingers against his scalp, his thumb and forefinger rubbing the ends of Reita's hair between them in an almost reverent way. This was another thing that had previously been forbidden, these truly intimate moments of contact. The thought of that had Reita raising up on his knees and pulling Ruki to him by the back of his neck.

He felt Ruki straining against his jeans beneath his palm as Reita kissed him slowly. Ruki's lips were pliant beneath Reita's own, completely submissive as he parted them with his tongue and dipped into Ruki's mouth. There was something so sensual in the way Ruki relaxed against him as they kissed in a way that was a quiet kind of delirium, nothing of the aggression and power control Ruki had forced on him at the beginning of their relationship out of fear and uncertainty. Some things were still strained and some words had always been left unsaid on both of their parts, but this was progress. The way Ruki pulled back, his breathing labored, his lips trembling, and the way his eyes searched Reita's face desperately told him that they were getting somewhere with one another.

Progress was a slow and difficult road.

"If you don't hurry, I'm going to come," Ruki murmured, pulling Reita forward until he was forced to fall against Ruki's body. He held himself away a little with his hands on the arm rests of the chair but allowed the heat between Ruki's legs to press against his stomach through his shirt.

"You're always in a hurry. You need to learn to slow down," Reita whispered against full lips, a mantra he seemed to repeat to Ruki every day. He kissed the corner of Ruki's still painted mouth, though the blood red color had faded to a soft pink and had been smeared by Reita's mouth. Ruki looked less dangerous and much more debauched with his lipstick smeared. Reita was sure he had traces of it on his own lips now.

"I'm a busy person. Why should I slow down? So I can laze around with you?" Ruki laughed, his breath warm and intoxicatingly sweet against Reita's lips.

"Yes," Reita answered him simply. Work be damned, he would rather Ruki slow down and spend more time with him. He knew why Ruki couldn't simply stop though, couldn't slow his pace. It was out of fear that he kept himself so damn busy. Because in moments like this, it was hard to deny that they were allowing something to develop between them, and each time they closed themselves away like this, it grew just a little more.

And Reita did whatever he could to help it grow, feeding Ruki soft touches and whispers, and kissing him the way he'd always wanted to....as if Ruki meant more to him than a quick fuck between the sheets. Because he did mean more. Ruki had always meant much more than that. And whether Ruki wanted to admit it or not...he needed this. Ruki needed to feel something beneath the bitchy, stoic front he liked to show most people.

Reita pressed his lips against the corner of Ruki's mouth and then let his lips trail to his ear. He pulled the lobe of Ruki's ear between his teeth, scraping earrings on his way down, and shivered when Ruki's hands slid from his hair and grasped at his back. Ruki had always been so sensitive near his ear and his neck and Reita grinned to think that he could tease and torture Ruki the entire night by just kissing and sucking on the skin of his neck, or that little place just beneath his ear.

Ruki had turned to a shuddering mass of strain beneath Reita's hands, as he desperately tried to hold himself back from touching Reita. Reita noticed Ruki's fingers move from his back and hold tight to the chair arms and he grinned against Ruki's collar bone. If it had been up to Ruki tonight, the fun would have been over before it began.

Reita let his mouth slide down the long expanse of Ruki's shuddering stomach, his fingers walking across the gentle slope of Ruki's hip bones teasingly. Reita pressed a kiss just below Ruki's navel and smiled when Ruki groaned low in his throat, a keening, wanton sort of groan that had the hair on the back of Reita's neck standing on end. He drew slow shapes against Ruki's stomach with his tongue, over his hip bone, down and over his navel, until his tongue hit unresisting cloth.

Reita pulled back enough to unbutton damnable designer jeans so that he could slide them down and over Ruki's hips. Ruki lifted his hips just enough so that Reita could pull them off and toss them out of the way. When he looked back to Ruki, he found him lounging in the chair, legs spread lewdly, lips smeared in a leering sort of grin across one cheek where Reita's thumb had slipped. The entire image was one of quiet constraint and loud desire. Even sitting naked in the chair, hands gripping the arm rests, with want in his eyes, Ruki was the perfect picture of tyranny.

"Are you going to make me beg for it?" Ruki asked, voice low and cocky, but Reita caught the slight tremor beneath the bravado.

"Do you think I should?" Reita asked with a smirk. He knew he wouldn't have to make Ruki beg, because he was already begging with his eyes...and with his body. Reita smoothed his hands over the tops of Ruki's thighs and then brought them down between them and raked his nails across the inside of his thighs to his knees. Ruki sucked in a breath and bit into the corner of his mouth, his gaze on Reita never wavering.

The faint red streaks decorating Ruki's thighs from his nails was erotic, maddeningly so as Reita bent over the marks and ran his tongue over them. Ruki hissed softly and buried his fingers into Reita's hair, teeth clenched. Reita let his mouth wander, running the flat of his tongue up the inside of one of Ruki's thighs, deliberately ignoring the roll of Ruki's hips, the suggestion of where Ruki really wanted his mouth. He pushed Ruki's hips back down into the chair and held him there as he finally gave in and ran his tongue up the underside of Ruki's cock.

That seemed to release a torrent of desire in Ruki as his hands pulled against Reita's hair painfully and Ruki arched against him. So much for restraining himself from touching Reita. Reita couldn't help but slip a hand down to his own cock, straining against his jeans, and rubbed. Ruki was completely undone beneath him as his mouth slid down Ruki's cock and Reita's fingers encircled him, stroking Ruki even as he stroked himself. Reita's name was a breathy chant on Ruki's lips as his tongue wet his bottom lip and then pulled it between teeth restlessly.

There was something faintly carnal about the way Ruki made love, when he pushed Reita onto the bed and held him down as he sank into his lap, or pressed between Reita's thighs when he was feeling particularly aggressive and in need of some sort of control. Reita usually went to work in the morning with scratch marks down his back and bruises the size of Ruki's fingers around his arms. Passionate was too soft a word to describe Ruki behind closed doors.

Tonight, Ruki had traded carnality and insatiability for something sensual, on the verge of becoming desperate, but Ruki held himself back carefully and only let the want simmer on the surface, in the eyes that watched Reita's every moment, and in the fingers that pulled against Reita's hair, and in the soft sounds that came from the very back of Ruki's throat, low and erotic.

He knew exactly what to do to push Reita over the edge. Ruki's back arched against the chair and Reita felt the tug in his hair that forced him down into Ruki's lap, his mouth slipping down to take Ruki fully. He would have choked if he hadn't expected it, the forceful tug, the blatant desire. He pulled away just as Ruki's body tensed, so close to the edge of orgasm that a second more and he would have let Ruki come in his mouth.

"Reita....." Ruki gasped, body shuddering, breathing shaky as he stared at Reita in a sort of wonderment, and then irritation slowly began to override the shock. Reita had never denied Ruki anything, least of all an orgasm.

"This is what you wanted," Reita reminded him again, grinning as he stood and then pulled Ruki out of the chair. He could have worshiped Ruki the entire night, teasing every available inch of skin, every bone and sensitive nerve ending he could possibly find, and had planned on that. But Ruki had the look of a desperate man now, his body thrumming with a lust he hadn't been able to release yet. And just looking at Ruki, still trembling just the slightest from his denied orgasm, made his own lust claw at his insides painfully. Perhaps they could tease one another another night....when Reita himself wasn't close to becoming delirious with want.

He pulled Ruki by the hand back into his bedroom and without waiting, without even another word, he backed Ruki into the bed, and when the back of his knees hit the mattress, they seemed to give out, and Ruki sat down heavily on the bed. Reita was on him in a second, forcing him back to the middle of the bed even as he kissed him, no longer soft and tender, but something more raw and needy.

Reita cut off each of the whispers and groans of his own name with his mouth and Ruki was restless beneath him, fingers digging into his shoulder blades and clawing their way down his back through the thin material of his shirt. He would have scratch marks there in the morning, merely another of Ruki's displays of affection that he would have to hide away.

"Please....." Ruki gasped when Reita's lips slid away from Ruki's mouth to kiss and nip at the pulse just beneath his jaw line. It was rare that Ruki ever truly begged for anything, even in bed, and Ruki's pleading only seemed to fan the need. He could have strung Ruki along the entire night, made him writhe with want, but this was enough......the wild need in Ruki's eyes was more than enough convincing to abandon Ruki's earlier whispered demand.

Ruki's hands were already pulling at his shirt, slipping it over his head by the time Reita had begun to unbuckle his belt and strip away his pants. He settled naked between Ruki's legs and it was a pleasure that seemed to get more intense each time they desecrated this bed. Ruki's hips rolled against him and then wrapped around his waist, keeping him flush against his body. When he tried to pull away to grab for the bottle and the condoms he always kept on hand beside the bed, Ruki craned his neck, following his mouth, and kissed him again, his hand holding the back of Reita's neck so he couldn't move away.

"I'll be quick," He promised breathlessly against Ruki's lips, pushing himself away from Ruki and this time Ruki let him, his hands running through the sweaty hair at his temples, pushing it back as his eyes followed Reita's every movement. Reita pulled the drawer beside the bed open and nearly knocked everything off of the stand, including the lamp as he searched for the lube.

"Second drawer," Ruki said, pointing lazily, and Reita took a moment to look over at Ruki and as always, was taken back by the way Ruki looked when he needed Reita, his eyes watching Reita intently as if he couldn't stand Reita not being against him, even for the seconds it took to look through the drawers. Reita wasn't sure he'd ever get used to it, or if he would ever truly believe it.....

"I threw it in there last time." Ruki smiled slowly and Reita shook his head, turning back and finding the lube exactly where Ruki had said it would be.

Ruki accepted him back with open arms and he sank down against Ruki's body like it was the only place he would ever need to be. It had always felt right here, even before Ruki had decided he wanted Reita as more than a friend with "special privileges".

He made quick work of the lube and Ruki groaned as Reita's fingers pressed inside of him, his hands holding Reita's wrist as he fucked him for a while this way. There had been many instances where Ruki had wanted this, his fingers and his mouth only. Reita had become a master at leaving Ruki a shaking mess on the bed this way, but tonight Ruki wanted more, and he wanted it fast, and so did Reita. He pulled his hand away when Ruki squeezed his wrist impatiently.

Reita sucked in a breath and let it out long and slow as he held his cock in hand and pressed into Ruki's body. He watched Ruki's face contort as he slid in until he was flush against him. Ruki pressed his face against Reita's arm as he began to move. It was something he always noticed about Ruki, the way he hid his face every time, pressed a gasping mouth to Reita's skin and then bit down to keep from moaning. Ruki never bit him very hard, but that little sting of teeth against his arm drove him crazy, and he was sure that Ruki knew that by now and did it on purpose.

Reita knew they wouldn't last long as he gasped against Ruki's temple and thrust into him, hard and deep and Ruki clung to him and met him with thrusts of his own. Ruki was never one to take things lying on his back, even in sex. More often than not, he pushed Reita beneath him and had his way with him from the top, but tonight.....Ruki held Reita to him with hands like grasping claws, and they seemed to lose themselves for awhile on the edges of pleasure and madness.

When Ruki came, it was with a gasp of Reita's name against his ear and legs that held him too tightly, forcing him deeper, dragging Reita's own orgasm from him whether he was ready for it or not. He shook against Ruki and Ruki didn't push him away as he usually would, but kept him there against him, palms flat on his spine, face pressed against Reita's damp cheek.

After a moment that seemed to freeze itself and become one long held breath, Reita sighed, disentangling himself from Ruki's clinging limbs and fell back beside him with a satisfied grunt and the breath was released. Ruki lay breathing hard beside him, staring up at the ceiling, arms sprawled beside his head on the pillow like some sort of fallen angel, a desecrated angel, or maybe just a devil playing dress up in angel regalia. The last one always seemed to be true when it came to Ruki.

After the passion had cooled completely and they were left abandoned together, Reita allowed himself to curl an arm around Ruki's waist and he sighed when Ruki moved closer and laid his head down against his shoulder. That one particular submission of Ruki's always had Reita's heart hammering in his chest and he was sure that Ruki could feel it, maybe even hear it as he laid against him, his leg hooking around Reita's leg, his arm loosely encircling Reita's waist.

"Why do you stay with me? You know I'm difficult." It was a whisper that Reita had to strain to hear. He caught the utterance and breathed it in, slowly....carefully. He never wanted to ruin these fragile moments with Ruki because he was never sure how many he would be allowed.

"Maybe I like difficult," He retorted with a smile that Ruki wouldn't have been able to see in the thick darkness of the room. The curtains across the room were still open because Reita had been too lazy to close them before they had fallen into bed together and it was pitch dark outside, the quiet neighborhood he lived in as dark and dead as always.

"Then you're stupid," Ruki muttered, fingers digging themselves into Reita's hip as if to punctuate his insult. An insult born of insecurity. Reita's back stung against the bed where Ruki had scratched him in the heat of his lust, marks he would carry for weeks. Maybe that had always been Ruki's intention with his nails against Reita's skin. Ruki seemed bent on marking his territory these days.

"Don't be mean," Reita forced out between a tired yawn. He let the silence settle around them as his hand wandered, trailing along the ridges of Ruki's delicate spine, to the nape of his neck, to finally bury in damp auburn hair. He'd helped Ruki choose the color this time as Ruki stood in the hair parlor, hands on hips, arguing with their stylist over clashing colors, throwing around fashion terms Reita had never completely understood.

"This color." Reita had suddenly held up a color card of dark auburn because it had reminded him of fall and that day on the steps when he'd finally found the courage to take what was his. Auburn was a natural Ruki usually avoided, opting for over the top and dramatic. But that day, Reita wanted something real and honest.

Ruki had slid down into the chair, ending all arguments, and let their stylist color his hair and all the while that Reita watched the color bleed from Ruki's hair into the sink, he'd thought.....He's doing this for me. There was something inherently intimate, even a tad erotic about Ruki's willingness to dye his hair the color that Reita wanted it. Ruki's style was his own, it was just another faucet of control, but he'd given the choice up to Reita that day with a willingness that had almost broken Reita's steady core.

"Do you like it?" Ruki had asked that night, fingering the ends of his hair in a way that was almost self-conscious, even as he stood near the end of the bed, naked, his skin pale in the low light of the room.

"You know why I stay with you don't you?" Ruki's voice, soft and muffled against his shoulder brought him back to the present and his fingers slid from newly auburn hair back down to the curved ridges of bone he found seductive in a way he could never explain. He'd spent many nights tracing Ruki's spine with his tongue, to the sound of Ruki's gasps and the shivering of his body.

"I know," Reita breathed. I love you, he finished in his mind, his lips closed tight against tempting words. He would always yearn for Ruki to admit that he loved him, to say aloud what his body and his subtle actions were beginning to tell Reita, like whispered secrets tucked into the hollow of his throat. Ruki pressed his lips there now and Reita felt his blood pulse against Ruki's mouth and he imagined Ruki tucking words there that he couldn't quite say yet.

*********

"Will you please take it off?" Ruki asked, stressing the 'please' because he knew Reita was already a bundle of nerves today and it was very unlikely he'd go through with the request. Ruki seemed genuinely surprised when Reita reached back and untied the knot of the cloth covering his nose and slipped it off without a moment's more hesitation.

"Happy now?" Reita asked, shoving the cloth into the front pocket of his costume and then holding his arms out in a helpless sort of gesture. Ruki sniffed and shrugged, his eyes roving over Reita's body from head to toe in that way that was half appraising, half judgmental, which was Ruki in a nutshell if Reita was honest with himself.

"I can't kiss you with that fucking noseband on. You know that," Ruki growled, and Reita was sure he heard "ridiculous" muttered beneath his breath before Ruki slipped his hand into Reita's and tugged him off down the hallway they'd stopped in on their way to the break room.

"I didn't know you planned on kissing me." Reita chuckled and received a sharp tug on his arm, to which he inwardly winced at, but dutifully kept his mouth closed. Ruki was in the mood for a different type of break than a smoke break and he'd do well just to go along with it.

After the television crew had called for a break, the other members of the band had immediately dispersed to the alleyway outside of the building to engage one another in conversation amongst a cloud of smoke. Reita had been about to join them and he was sure Ruki would too, when Ruki had literally tugged him into the hallway.

Ruki slipped into the empty break room and pulled Reita in after him. Reita had enough sense to kick the door closed and then lock it before Ruki was on him, pushing him down into one of the chairs around one of the tables scattered across the room. Ruki sat down in Reita's lap, one leg on either side of Reita's chair and then pulled him forward by the collar of his jacket.

"What if someone comes in?" Reita protested, knowing the entire staff would likely blunder down here to rape the coffee machine during the thirty minute break they'd been graciously afforded today. Most of these television crews were merciless when it came to getting the footage they needed.

"If someone comes in then I guess they'll have to wait, " Ruki grinned. Ruki looked down at him, happy to be in a position of power, Reita was sure, with his hand tangled in the neck of Reita's jacket and his painted lips quirked at the corner in a leer. Ruki's mouth was red again today. Red lips were the highlight of Ruki's current costume, the 'theme' if one wanted to call it that. It was what brought the dark clothes and the dark of Ruki's hair together and made his face stand out, stark and coldly beautiful.

But Reita knew what the real purpose of the red was. He'd known it the day Ruki had walked out of the studio with the lipstick still staining his mouth blood-red and dangerous. When Ruki was feeling out of sorts, he hid behind makeup and a demigod stage front to gain some semblance of control in his life. Maybe it was the same as Reita tying a cloth over his face. It allowed him to hide a little, instilled a sort of confidence in him like a security blanket. He had noticed this quirky trend all throughout the early days of their relationship.

Reita didn't say anything in regards to Ruki's painted on confidence and merely let Ruki tilt his head back and kiss him on the mouth eagerly. The taste of Ruki's tongue and lipstick was sharp in Reita's mouth. He wondered briefly how far Ruki was going to take this, because he was now hard and he knew that Ruki could feel him between his legs.

Being overworked and overstressed always put Ruki in this sort of carnal mood, and Reita was never one to complain, or at least not since he finally knew where he stood in Ruki's world now.

"If they think...." Ruki muttered between heated kisses to Reita's unresistant mouth. "That they're going to keep filming-" Ruki hissed and drew Reita's bottom lip between his lip and Reita groaned, fingers digging into Ruki's hips in a spasm of lust.

"-For another two hours, they're fucking insane." Ruki enunciated this statement with a harsh tug to Reita's painstakingly styled hair, pulling his head back further so that Ruki could kiss and bite his way down Reita's neck. A roll of Ruki's hips against his lap let Reita know that Ruki had indeed felt him, and knew exactly what he was doing to him. He also knew that there wasn't enough time to take care of the problem Ruki was creating....

As if on cue, the doorknob to the break room rattled and then someone knocked on the door. Ruki didn't bat an eye, didn't even pause as he sucked the blood to the surface of Reita's skin on the side of his neck, but Reita's gaze shifted nervously to the door.

"Why is this locked? Hello? Is someone in there?" A voice on the other side of the door called.

"Ru.....Ruki," Reita whispered, moving to push on Ruki's shoulders, but Ruki slapped his hand away and he could feel the lecherous grin against the side of his neck.

"Shit," Reita gasped softly as Ruki's hand slipped down to his lap. Ruki made quick work of unbuttoning his pants and sliding his fingers inside to find the problem at hand...literally.

There was another knock at the door, and the handle jiggled again as Reita clenched his teeth and tried to keep quiet as Ruki stroked him, all the while holding his head back and smirking down at him. This wasn't a first occurrence, nor a last occurrence Reita was sure, but each time Ruki pulled a stunt like this, it had Reita's heart hammering in his chest from the fear of possibly being caught. To Ruki this was just another exciting game, another careless move on the chess board because he knew he'd already won Reita over completely.

There had been times when Reita was sure they'd been found out, but the few staff that possibly knew their secret had thankfully kept a closed mouth about it. There had been too many footsteps hurrying away in the dark, and too many doors being closed quickly to think they hadn't ever been caught.

"Would you get me the key? Someone must have locked it by accident." The voice on the other side came again and this time there was an answering voice.

"That's funny. I was just in there and I don't remember locking it. Jin has the key, I'll be right back." Footsteps retreated down the hallway, a pause, and then another set of footsteps also left and faded away. Reita let out a held breath as Ruki's hand teased him to the brink. He didn't try to postpone or let the pleasure build, just let it rush through him. They'd be caught if he let this drag on, and fortunately, Ruki was a master of quick happy endings. Ruki's hand was sure and deft against him and he panted as the pleasure built.

Ruki's thumb circled the head of his cock as Ruki bent down and kissed him hard and that was all it took for Reita to tense up and come in Ruki's hand. Reita shuddered and Ruki muffled his groan with his mouth. Reita's hands clutched at Ruki's back and he held Ruki against him for a moment as his body rode out the remnants of his orgasm.

"Well that was quick." Ruki laughed against his mouth and Reita growled. Quick and completely uncalled for. But then he'd gotten acquainted with these little public displays of affection. It was just that when he'd yearned for a little open honesty with Ruki, he hadn't known it would mean nearly getting caught for public indecency.

Ruki made a show of standing from Reita's lap and then holding up his wet hand and examining it with a smirk. Reita remained slumped in the chair, breathing hard while watching Ruki move to the sink across the room in the mini kitchenette. Ruki carefully washed his hands as if he had all the time in the world and then primly dried them with a toilette. There was a satisfied air to Ruki as he sauntered back over to Reita, toilette swinging against his side, and knelt down in front of him. Ruki pulled his boxers back into place and then buttoned Reita's pants back up as Reita looked down at him incredulously and then shook his head.

"I think our break's over." Ruki smiled up at him and patted his knee. Reita didn't even venture to ask anymore why Ruki felt it necessary to molest him during work hours now as much as he did when they were alone together in one of their apartments. Maybe it was another odd way of Ruki claiming what was his, and making sure that Reita knew that. Or maybe it was just the stress of work, of them, of things Ruki never wanted to talk about.

"Ah, you have a little lipstick here." Ruki reached up and pulled Reita's face closer by the chin and began wiping away the red streaks Reita knew were decorating his lips and cheek and even neck.

"Don't look at me like that," Ruki hummed as he brushed the towel over Reita's bottom lip and then began working on his neck, head tilted, eyes distracted.

"What about you?" Reita ventured to ask, because he'd been taught to always play fair, and he knew Ruki was probably just as riled up as he had been, though as Ruki had said....their break was over, and the people that had been trying to get into the break room would probably be returning any minute. He would have taken care of Ruki despite all this though.

"Oh you'll pay me back tonight," Ruki muttered. It was a definite promise and Reita let his mind wander to what Ruki would have in store for him when they got home tonight.

"Shit, I made a mark," Ruki cursed under his breath, and gave up trying to scrub away the bruise on the side of Reita's neck. Reita was sure that Ruki was secretly happy about that, had probably been aiming to make a mark on him that he wouldn't be able to cover up anyway.

"Good thing we're postponing the tour then," Ruki continued, throwing the hand towel onto the table beside them and standing back up. There was hint of irritation in Ruki's voice now and Reita knew not to push it as he stood and leaned against the table. He wanted to reach out and brush the strands of hair from Ruki's face that Ruki was now blowing away in frustration. But he didn't, because he knew what Ruki was worrying over right now.

Instead, Reita gingerly touched the bruise on the side of his neck and figured their makeup artist could do a quick cover up for him before they started filming again. He also trusted the makeup artist to not ask questions about the mark.

"We'll be back in no time," Reita tried, forcing a smile that he knew looked plastic and just a tad silly. When Ruki turned and glared at him, he knew for sure he looked utterly fake.

"Will we? How do you know for sure?" Ruki asked, his tone suddenly matching the makeup, dangerous. Reita didn't know for sure because he wasn't sure at all what would happen, if they'd be forced on hiatus until further notice, or if......Reita cut his train of thought right there and just shrugged.

In actuality they shouldn't have been doing even this these past few days, running around finishing up last minute interviews and photo shoots before they went into a quick hibernation....because of Ruki....because of things he couldn't control. But there was no stopping Ruki until he wanted to be stopped, or was forced to be stopped, as was the case now.

"Your lipstick needs retouching," Reita noted, voice soft and unobtrusive. Ruki looked him over again as he had in the hallway, as if he couldn't for the life of him understand where Reita was coming from, as if Reita confused him to no end. And then Ruki turned on his heel and headed for the door.

"Your hair needs to be fixed," Ruki shot back as he left the break room, ending an argument that could have erupted, snuffing it out like dirt on a stubborn fire. Reita followed him out just as a man walked past him, swinging a key ring around his index finger. Reita turned just in time to see the man stop in front of the break room and stare at it in confusion before Reita grinned and then turned and followed Ruki's retreating back.

***********

There had been a moment once, that Reita had stored carefully in the memories he'd stacked upon one another over the years. It was a memory that had nothing to do with sweaty skin or breathy moans, nothing at all to do with lust or the tug of war game he and Ruki seemed to be in love with but had everything to do with it at the same time. They were forever a confusing paradox it seemed.

Reita turned back to the man sitting across from him, the coffee date friend he'd met in a hotel room once. The man sat against the booth with his arm slung over the back of it, shades hiding eyes that were probably smiling, a mirror image of his mouth.

There was an unspoken rule between them now, where rules had previously been obsolete. They sipped their coffee and talked about mundane things, work and life, but never Ruki and never even the wife and the children that hung on to each of the man's arms when they happened to visit him on tour.

Reita had always thought Miyavi would be great with kids, being a big kid himself most of the time. He was on tour now and just happened to be playing in Reita's neck of the woods tonight. Reita had gotten the phone call early that morning while Ruki sat on the counter in the bathroom brushing his teeth and watching Reita through the doorway with a lazy sort of curiosity. Maybe he'd known, but then maybe he'd been blissfully ignorant.

Jealousy never died an easy death, so Reita had walked into the living room to invite Miyavi out for coffee, feeling just a tad guilty, but knowing coffee was all this would be. Perhaps Ruki had grown out of his earlier dislike for Miyavi, especially now since Reita barely recognized the man who now sat in front of him, a calmer, more mature version of the man who had invited him into his room that long ago night.

Ruki had gotten what he wanted, like a victor holding his prize aloft because someone else had challenged him for it. He could see the gleam in Ruki's eyes, a catty sort of gleam when he watched Miyavi walk by those few times they had shared the stage or a photo spread after Reita's fumbling headlong crash into a mess he didn't understand. Because of this, Reita hadn't felt like taking chances. Digging up old fuel for a tired battle didn't seem like a wise idea.

The color was drained from Miyavi's hair now and it lay over his shoulders, dark and just a bit drab. Maybe that was what family life did to a person, calmed their wild spirit just a bit. But Reita still saw hints of the man he had known completely for a night even as they talked now of things that seemed too work heavy and a little stale. That grin hadn't changed, the secretive, cheeky grin that instantly had Reita smiling back.

Miyavi was happy, content with the life he'd built for himself and in turn, Reita was glad for him as he tilted his coffee cup against his lips and swallowed down the what ifs and whys of this whole affair. It had been as if their paths had already been laid out for them and they had just been a passerby that night. It was as if they had only needed refuge from their journey for a few hours before continuing on their way. It had been a sensual handshake, a kiss in the dark and then back to the grind of life.

Reita imagined Miyavi drinking down his own thoughts and when Miyavi pushed his sunglasses into his hair, Reita imagined he saw questions there in Miyavi's eyes that never quite reached those smiling lips.

"How are things? Are you happy?" and then that all powerful question...."Why?"

"Maybe one day we'll get to share the stage again," Reita said into his coffee cup, tucking his own whys into the steam curling from the liquid.

In his mind, he spread the answer to Miyavi's question onto the table, bare and raw and honest. That moment that he'd known that he was stuck, ball and chain as Miyavi had put it once was something he replayed often.

One night, years ago, after jabs had been thrown and scars had burrowed themselves deeper beneath their skin with each insult born of insecurity, Reita sat at the edge of the bed with Ruki blocking the light in the doorway. Just an angry shadow looming in the edges of Reita's vision. Nothing new there.

They weren't ready for this. Friends didn't fuck. Reita would never be good enough. Ruki was too flighty. They were going to ruin the band. Ruki's heart was a box locked tight. Maybe he'd been hurt before, maybe he really was just a tight lipped bitch. Reita was too open and giving people always finished last and were crushed underfoot. Ruki was the type that liked to crush. Maybe Reita was just a silly push over. Couldn't Reita just let it be? Couldn't he just pretend to feel nothing and just have fun? Couldn't Ruki just fucking calm down for a moment and listen to Reita? Couldn't they both stop pushing and shoving and hiding and lying and hurting?

It was always the same excuses. Always the same lies and hot air. And around and around they went with each other until they were both blue in the face and trying not to scream out their frustration.

Reita's shirt lay flung somewhere on the floor across the room. Ruki's jacket lay next to him, the smell of dead skin, expensive leather strong in Reita's nostrils. He'd wanted to rip the damn jacket at that moment, the jacket he'd bought Ruki one birthday and tucked his heart into the pocket of like a hidden love note. Ruki had smiled and crushed that heart with the heel of his hand that day. Never grateful, never unyielding.

"It isn't hard to understand, Reita. We slept together once, we did it again, and we'll probably do it again. That's all there is to it," Ruki had been yelling at him and if Reita could have seen Ruki's face in the darkness, he would have seen the angry lines around his pursed mouth, the fire in his eyes.

"Why do you have to make this so difficult?" A frustrated sigh, a fist against the door frame.

Why do you have to be so scared of me? Reita had wanted to yell back. And instead he'd only growled and said, "Why do you keep coming back?"

"Because you're a good fuck," Ruki had hissed, the snake of Eden coming to tempt him, coming to condemn him.

Reita had felt the bile against his tongue and yet he'd only hung his head, and let the shame sweep through him in waves. He could have said something equally as low hitting and painful, but he'd taken it like a bullet to the chest. He let the frustration out like a child, and he hadn't been able to stop it, the angry wetness against the corners of his eyes that spoke of years of bitter defeat and quiet anger. He had been about to leave, to end it all and walk away when Ruki had crossed the room and knelt beside the bed.

Reita had looked down at Ruki kneeling on the floor below him, a position of weakness and maybe even submission. Ruki had held his face in the palms of his hands and Reita could still feel the press of cool lips against his heated face, the whispers of "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." The only time Ruki had ever apologized to him sincerely. In some way, Ruki hadn't only been comforting him, begging forgiveness, he'd been putting the shackles to Reita's wrists and twisting the key. Ruki's lips had chased the wet tracks down Reita's face, and the sound of blood and a frantic heart was loud in his ears.

"Please don't," Ruki had breathed against Reita's cheek, and the gesture, the touch, the breath against his skin had been a glimpse of intimacy that had Reita searching for more of in Ruki for years. He had seen what Ruki could be to him that night and he'd held onto that, determined to pull it from Ruki again and keep it for himself. In a way, they had both always been too selfish.

"Please don't." Cry.

Miyavi's question of why would never be answered out loud, but he had a feeling that Miyavi already knew something of the answer. Miyavi had known too much about him that long ago night and he still knew too much.

"Don't be a stranger," Miyavi told him as they said their goodbyes at the door. Reita had thought about making his show that night, maybe standing in the back somewhere and just watching amongst a sea of wild hair and piercing screams of adoration, but he knew he wouldn't. He would phone Miyavi the next time he was in the city, maybe next year sometime, and they'd meet in the little coffee shop across town to update one another on the goings on of life and then they'd part with promises of phone calls that wouldn't happen.

I almost wish we hadn't both been taken before we met each other, He almost said, but instead Reita only smiled, hugged the other man, the palms of his hands remembering naked skin and a sprawling tattoo that was a life jacket to Miyavi.

"Take care of yourself," Reita called as Miyavi walked out into the glare of the afternoon sun, and he laughed when Miyavi did a quick, playful turn, a glimpse into the man he had known before little girls with his face and the cries of 'daddy' on their tongues, and then Miyavi was gone. He would never know that man the way he had once before because he now belonged to someone else. But there was still a smile on Reita's lips as he returned home to Ruki.

"You look happy," Ruki commented with a raised eyebrow, tongue running flat against a frozen popsicle as they drifted together in the park later that evening. Reita leaned forward and took a playful bite out of the popsicle, ignoring the huff and the glare.

"I am happy." Reita grinned, kissing Ruki's sticky, cherry flavored lips. Because he was.

*********

Gratitude.

Love.

Loyalty.

Reita held these all powerful words in his hands and he sifted through them carefully, picking out each one to examine when he needed reassurance that this road he was on was the right one. Gratitude and love were almost one and the same, twisted together tightly in Reita's mind.

The morning he had woken up to see the brand new Jens Ritter bass, a veritable piece of art, lying next to him in bed like a sensual lover, had been one of the first dropped hints to Ruki's gratitude, the kindness that he tucked away in the horns of his hair and the deep red of dangerous lips.

It had been only a week and a day since they'd established some form of relationship when Ruki had gifted him the sleek black and blue Okon. Already Ruki had started establishing his place, putting down impenetrable roots that Reita would have hell cutting through if he ever decided he didn't want nail scraping passion and blood red lips, a storm blowing down his flimsy defenses. Ruki had offered him the bass as a peace offering of sorts, a physical manifestation of his feelings in a way their bodies and maybe even words couldn't relay to one another.

There had been a note carefully slipped beneath the strings of the neck of the bass that read in Ruki's elegant script;

"I saw you eyeing her, so now she's yours. Just leave room for me in the bed tonight."

A steady flow of shock had washed through Reita's body as he picked the bass up, running fingers over smooth curves and material that must have cost Ruki an arm and a leg and then his eye had lighted on the design tucked into the corner of the sleek body, very small and very subtle, a rose with thorns, a design Ruki had tacked to several pieces of his clothing line and other various merchandise over the years, but here.....it seemed to bleed from the body of the guitar and scream something to him. It had been as if Ruki had been handing the instrument to Reita, full of hidden meanings, his passion and his emotions tucked within the strings and wood and chrome of the thing.

There had been other gifts over the weeks in that beginning stage, gifts that lovers seemed to hand to one another like eager puppies, wagging their tails for attention, just hoping to get scratched behind the ears for their love and loyalty. But each of Ruki's gifts seemed to be a message for Reita, and each one, he unwrapped, hoping he was reading into them right, that he wasn't confusing longing for truth, that he wasn't imagining these things that Ruki couldn't tell him outright just yet.

The times that Ruki decided to play chef and cook for Reita, however nerve-wracking that was seemed to say, "Look how much I love you. I'd burn down the whole kitchen trying to make you something you enjoy.."

Once Ruki had offered to take Reita's parakeet for the week though Ruki hated birds and his dogs were likely to eat Keiji if Ruki so much as turned his back for a minute. Ruki seemed to be telling Reita,"I'd make myself uncomfortable for you, if it would help you in some way." Though Reita's nerves had eaten him alive that entire week while he was out of town, and he was sure he'd come home to a birdcage full of shredded feathers and no bird. He had imagined Ruki wringing his hands, and shuffling his feet, and shrugging.

"I only left for an hour," Ruki would have said, looking for all the world a guilty child chewing on his lip. But Reita had come home to Ruki with Keiji perched on his finger and his precious dogs locked away in his bedroom. That in itself was a statement, loud and clear.

"He looks like you," Ruki had chuckled running a finger over the mohawk of hair fanning the bird's yellow head.

"I know," Reita had laughed and watched Ruki's lips touch the end of the bird's beak. Their eyes had caught for the briefest of seconds, before Ruki had pulled away laughing with Keiji's beak taking a daring snap at his mouth.

The guitar had screamed to Reita, "I'm imperfect as the rose I've sketched for you here, thorns and all. But love me, because I'm giving myself to you, however slow and stumbling this is." And beneath that lay whisperings of other meanings, of jealousy they both chose to ignore, as if Ruki had been slamming his fist down and shouting "I am the only one!" beneath the last words of his note.

Reita had become adept at this silent language of Ruki's and in turn he was sure that Ruki could read him in much the same way. A language of lost and scared people, reaching out the only way they knew how until they were brave enough to stop hiding their faces.

Reita pondered the meaning of Ruki's ways, of his subtle displays of affection now as Ruki lay across from him on the couch, playing footsie with him idly as they watched a movie Reita had seen at least ten times. But it was Ruki's favorite movie and so he'd watch it another ten more if Ruki would keep laughing and rubbing his foot over the top of his shin idly.

During a particularly boring scene, Reita reached down and grabbed Ruki's foot and tugged. The screech that erupted from Ruki's mouth was both hilarious and very un-Ruki-like and had Reita tugging harder, until Ruki was nearly in his lap. Ruki tried to kick at him and grab for his legs, but Reita already had the advantage. Ruki hated his height, the legs he wished were longer, but Reita loved them, not only because they felt nice wrapped around his waist, but because Ruki was easier to push around, to pick up, to tackle....

A pillow landed square in the middle of his face and Reita gawked at Ruki who now knelt above him, a knee on either side of Reita's waist, hands on hips, smug smirk firmly in place, and looking for all the world a victorious Napoleon Bonaparte.

"You-" Reita growled and reached up to pull Ruki from his imagined throne.

"Love me," Ruki gasped before he fell against Reita's chest laughing. There was a pause as the words sunk in, or had Reita heard that right? Even if it was just in play....a little slip like that was a waterfall in Reita's hands, and in the deepest parts of his chest. But then he knew the moment he'd ruined their playfulness. He'd hesitated too long, his lips parted in an "oh", his eyes searching for more and Ruki quickly tried to take back the slip because this was too much....too familiar for his careful tread.

Ruki pushed himself from Reita's chest, untangling himself from their legs, long and short and twisted together, and he stood from the couch. Reita watched as Ruki tucked mussed strands of hair behind a pierced ear and bit his lip, that damnable, nervous, lying lip.

"I should pick Koron up from the vet now.....and I need to-"

"Get your coat," Reita interrupted him, not rudely, not even stiffly, just knowingly. They'd been through this before. More times than they should have.

"I'll take you home." Reita stood and waited until Ruki looked up at him and then Reita bent down to kiss him. He pressed forgiveness to Ruki's lips and knew Ruki felt it. He noticed that Ruki didn't close his eyes as they kissed briefly....and neither did Reita. The movie they'd abandoned for each other droned on in the background, a soap opera that mimicked life in the crudest of ways.

Ruki's gifts were not without price tags of disappointment at times but they were gifts one in the same and Reita cherished each one. And Ruki could never take the slipped words back try as he might. That was a gift that Reita could store in the recesses of his memory to play back when Ruki felt that this was too much for him and turned away.

Each gift from Ruki had one thing in common, whether it be the video games Ruki had begun to pick out for Reita in very bad taste, the odd shirt or pair of shoes he thought Reita might like but were always too flashy for Reita's usual style, the way Ruki had slowly begun to invade Reita's home with hairbrushes and lost jewelry, and in turn never complained when Reita happened to leave a shirt or his favorite shampoo in Ruki's bathroom, the way they were becoming all too domesticated despite Ruki's undomesticated ways. All of these gifts said one thing to Reita above any hidden meaning or crossword puzzle that needed to be solved. They vibrated with the words;

I am not completely heartless.

I'm not the devil.

And I do love you.

Go to Part Two