I'm a Mess...

[life_depiction]

Long time no blog. I cant believe how difficult my life is getting. This is not an entry for anyone to get kicks out of about hearing about how I’m doing. Its going to be depressing (just a warning) I must be upset because I never write anything down, I never need to get it out of my system. I just don’t know what to do with certain aspects of my life. School: its hard, its overwhelming, I’m lazy, and behind, and the list goes on. Last quarter I was so on top of it. this quarter I have missed so much it is hard to fully recover. Life: dad mom bro sis. Mostly cool. dad drives me nuts from time to time ..so does my whole fam for that matter. Relationship: don’t need to go into to it here cause it doesn’t apply to you and if I do want to get it out of my system ill write a private one. I will say this. through all of this I do love her to no end. She is wonderful and amazing and she enriches my life that much more everyday I get to be around her or talk to her. Its a hard road to be in a relationship for our duration at our young age and I just hope that we can find a way to work it out. Leslie if you are reading this. I do love you and you make me so happy and really are the uplifting part of my life currently I’m just troubled at the things we been having to deal with. ( actually you are probably the only one that is going to read this so ...I probably don’t have to call you out like that.) Everything in my life got harder in what seemed to be overnight. Sometimes you just have to wonder. What’s my next move. What decisions am I to make to further my life into the next step. Its scary . Life decisions and change in ones life is not an easy thing. I am most definitely a creature of habit. Many things in my life are going to change either with my seal of approval or not but either way I have to let things ride. I cant get caught up in things I cant change or impact. Bottom line is life is going to spin me around for a bit before it lets me settle and I guess I have to be okay with that because what the hell else am I supposed to do.

I’m sure I will write again tonight. I’m not sure I said much of anything there that will mean anything to anyone. I’m not even sure what some of what I said means. But nonetheless I bid you ado!

Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies. -- Ann Landers