2005, the Year of the Cadian matyr
I'm not sure that I've yet managed to reflect properly on exactly what 2005 has meant to me.
I supose there are lenty of things that have been memorable from it, not all of them things that I like but I dearsay that I shall find it difficult to forget a number of them, though I'm not sure how much I'd want to.
Well I supose that the things that spring forth from the mind upon first thinking is really my love life from the year. while this has not always been amazingly pleasent it has never really failed to give me things to think about. It stirs memories of jelousy, intemperance, self pity and my poorer judgment, of myself, and others. I don't think that it would be in any way unfair to say that i made the first 8-9 months of the year as hard for myself as I could, not really knowing how to do better, though I have no problem at all attributing blame freely to other people for my own suffering. Though in meeting fuzzybunny it seems that very little of this is the same. Which is to say that it is not consistant with any of the cynical and or bitter views of such things that I have held previously. from this there seem to be only two posibilities, 1) Not everything is utterly horrid as it may seem at it's worst 2) fuzzybunny os a fracking bitch whi is just using me. In any case it is some food for thought.
The other things that spring to mind is the people that havebeen there for me as i have worked so hard to hear myself apart. To all of these people I render my thanks, as it is always something that I apreciate. I remember each of you, I pay my homage to each of you, and I recall the reasoons for which I love all of you.
Still, I find myself in a new year, with the posibilities of creating all new problems for myself. I look forward to all of these, and do so only because at the time I will rue them sorely. 'Tis the masochistic way to learn such things. ah, the fun though.
Do have fun all, try not too bee oo bored while I'm away camping (which i doubt, I shall be the one bored)
I supose there are lenty of things that have been memorable from it, not all of them things that I like but I dearsay that I shall find it difficult to forget a number of them, though I'm not sure how much I'd want to.
Well I supose that the things that spring forth from the mind upon first thinking is really my love life from the year. while this has not always been amazingly pleasent it has never really failed to give me things to think about. It stirs memories of jelousy, intemperance, self pity and my poorer judgment, of myself, and others. I don't think that it would be in any way unfair to say that i made the first 8-9 months of the year as hard for myself as I could, not really knowing how to do better, though I have no problem at all attributing blame freely to other people for my own suffering. Though in meeting fuzzybunny it seems that very little of this is the same. Which is to say that it is not consistant with any of the cynical and or bitter views of such things that I have held previously. from this there seem to be only two posibilities, 1) Not everything is utterly horrid as it may seem at it's worst 2) fuzzybunny os a fracking bitch whi is just using me. In any case it is some food for thought.
The other things that spring to mind is the people that havebeen there for me as i have worked so hard to hear myself apart. To all of these people I render my thanks, as it is always something that I apreciate. I remember each of you, I pay my homage to each of you, and I recall the reasoons for which I love all of you.
Still, I find myself in a new year, with the posibilities of creating all new problems for myself. I look forward to all of these, and do so only because at the time I will rue them sorely. 'Tis the masochistic way to learn such things. ah, the fun though.
Do have fun all, try not too bee oo bored while I'm away camping (which i doubt, I shall be the one bored)