Pigby Peddles Porn
In theory, I could get behind an organization like the Parents Television Council (PTC). It would be helpful to parents to have a more detailed guide about the graphic nature of television and movies. And as someone who despises having to watch a movie with lots of naughty shit with young children and their dumb ass parents, I really like the idea of some group working to lessen my aggravation.
I like the idea.
What I don't like is the arrogance with which the PTC tries to accomplish its goals. For them, it's not just about warning parents that Sex and the City contains shockingly enough sex; it's about forcing everyone in society to conform to their standards and ideas as to what is vulgar. They feel the need to get such shows and films banned, removed from existence and to penalize everyone even remotely involved with the program through boycotts and the FCC. They're not a useful group but rather lobotomized clones of Joseph McCarthy who pervert even the most innocent and innocuous actions to be something dirty and wrong.
Now, I know you might be thinking that I'm calling them dumb, because I'm fundamentally against censorship and because if you cry to me to think of the children, my instinctual response will be "Fuck your children." But you're wrong; these people really are dumb. For one movie, they list a dog urinating as bad language. Showing something pee is not the same thing as talking; something that has only one meaning is not a double entendre. If I have to explain that to you, yes, you're stupid. Fact. And even if I were willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, the examples behind the cut have proven to me that no, these people are even dumber than you thought they were.
I pulled the best stuff out for the lulz, but if you're too lazy to read, the entire post can best be summed up by this gif:
When you think of things not appropriate for young children, there are shows and films that automatically pop into your head. What you wouldn't necessarily imagine are the things that the Parents Television Council take specific issue with and the way certain things get a pass.
Below are shows that they've reviewed and things they've warned for. You'd be surprised. If you read nothing else, I high recommend reading about House, Pushing Daisies, and Sex and the City.
** America's Next Top Model: The PTC focuses rightly on the fact that there are lots of nude/semi-nude shoots. Unfortunately, it also specifically attacks born-in-the-wrong-body* model Isis as something to watch out for. *Yes, I know the technical term is transgender, but Isis doesn't actually like that term, so I'm being respectful of her by using the terminology she prefers. Instead of mentioning the girls who were rude, cruel, and discriminatory towards her, instead of mentioning Hannah who shoved Isis when Isis accidentally bumped into her, they warn against the woman who was victimized for being different. Worst of all, this is in contrast to NOT warning parents about Janice Dickinson. Look, I love Janice, but come on. She's not appropriate for most of humanity, much less little kids. Isis would have to have at least FIFTY penises before she became even remotely nearly as offensive as Janice.
** Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader?: This show has been rated appropriate for children of all ages. It's odd, because one of the qualities that the PTC upholds is patriotism. Last I checked, realizing that there are plenty of adults in this country who are dumber than fifth graders and that there are even more people who think that fact is entertaining and not sad at all does NOT encourage patriotism.
** Beverly Hills Chihuahua: In case you were wondering, dogs chasing one another is violence. Animals don't play that way with each other or anything; it's the same thing as me beating you up. Also "tinkle" is a bad word.
** Bratz: The Movie: The PTC is against those dolls, because the dolls look like prostitutes. However, they have no problem giving the green light of approval to the movie, thereby supporting the franchise. o_O
** Cold Case: This is part of their warning: "viewers should also be aware that this series has always been very anti-Christianity, depicting clergy, nuns, and even Amish as vindictive, judgmental murderers." Ignoring the fact that I feel like there's some sort of word missing around "Amish," I'm mentioning this here, so that you can remember it for when I get to Mad Men. But also, it really gets me that there's the implication that depicting any Christian religious figure is inherently anti-Christianity and absurd. Because religious figures are never the perpetrators of unimaginably horrific and unacceptable crimes. And I link that, by the way, as a Catholic woman who is not anti-Catholic. I just think that defending fictional characters' character is a lot less useful in protecting the well being of children than, say, making sure child abusers are not allowed to have access to our children. Crazy idea, I know.
** CSI: Miami: This show is given the highest warning possible for sex, language, violence, etc. I am disappointed to say that David Caruso's face is not warned for. D:
** Devil Wears Prada: They take issue with mentioning that Miranda Priestly has been divorced several times. Cause, you know, everyone watching that movie really thinks Miranda is the hero of the film and should be imitated in real life. I mean I know I want to be as fierce a bitch as Meryl Streep is in that movie, but I don't think that was intended. Also, the PTC takes issue with Andy being treated as though she's fat. Because that was never treated as absurd or anything... FAIL.
** Dexter: "Frigging" is mentioned as bad language. That seems like overkill to me as once you know the premise of the show, I think it's pretty safe to say it's not for kids. Or was the blood spatter on the promotional posters not enough of a hint for people?
** Gilmore GIrls: "While there isn’t any violence on the show, viewers should be prepared for harsh language." Yeah that Alexis Bledel is a regular Eminem. o_O
** Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Part of their review honestly makes me want to stab things, because one of their warnings is for the fact that Harry and company break school rules to practice defense. Yes. How dare those physically, mentally, and emotionally abused children who are being deprived of an education go out and try and learn on their own!
** House: And here we have some epic fail. They warn for language and sex and medical violence. They do not warn for DRUG ADDICTION. Popping pills is a-okay according to the PTC. Chase performing surgery? Now, that's perverted. So perverted in fact that violence gets a higher warning on this show than language.
** Mad Men: This week is the first time the PTC actually spoke out against the show. Why? Because there was some homosexuality. Which means that up until now they've approved of the following: racism, sexism, anti-semitism (notice how they're so willing to call one show anti-Christianity but not this one even though the anti-semitism is purposefuly done), a TON of drinking, smoking, urinating in your pants while drunk, lots of adultery, divorce, and a character being raped by her fiance. Note: The PTC has come out and said that it's not homophobic. However, that's impossible to believe as a). homosexuality is something warned against in other programs and b). they only took notice of Mad Men when there was homosexuality being shown on screen. Another note: they have video of the explicit moments on their website. If it's sooo wrong, why encourage viewership of any sort?
** Pushing Daisies: "The show also features a fair amount of sexual innuendo, most of it related to the fact that Ned cannot touch Chuck or she will die." Yes, all that conversation about Ned not being able to touch Chuck is sexual. Lets follow that idea to the end of the thought process, shall we? It means saran wrap = condoms AND gives the show tones of beastiality too. You know, since Ned can't touch Digby either. ;-)
** Ratatouille: Under violence is "dead rats are shown in a shop window." Yes, that's really violent. I'm sure none of the millions of people in the PTC kill or would kill pests in their home. I'm sure they don't feed their children meat or products that involve animals being harmed. Oh wait no. I don't believe that at all. Jesus Christ, these assholes are why we can't have real Disney villains anymore. It makes you really happy Sleeping Beauty was made years ago... cause if it were made today, these idiots would insist Maleficent only say something mean to Aurora... and even then, that would still be warned against.
** Sex and the City: You know this show isn't appropriate for young kids. What you might not know is that the Parents Television Council doesn't understand the concept of a boycott, because they keep a log (aka a list of quotes) of all of the episodes. ... which means they've actually been watching the show. What you might also be unaware of is the fact that feminism made women whores: "They once called women the 'fairer sex,' the civilizers of men, the paragon of reticence and manners. Then along came feminism, which promised women that they, too, could be loutish, horny, greedy, and profane."
Here's the thing for me: while the PTC is warning for things like teasing in Kung Fu Panda, there are children being sold for sex. There are children being forced to partake in the violence that killed their families. There are children being abused and exploited in the worst sorts of ways. I'm a big believer in being able to do multiple things at once, but I also believe that real threats to the well being of children are more important than the kind that come from your television. Instead of arrogantly and selfishly demanding that every television show and film conform to your ideas as to what's appropriate for children (cause certainly I wouldn't raise my kids to think feminists=whores, abuse is something you should accept, or that the only religion that matters is Christianity), why not use your power to stop some of the worst crimes against humanity?
Either actually think of the children, PTC, or seriously go eat a bag of baby dicks and learn what "double entendre" means.
I like the idea.
What I don't like is the arrogance with which the PTC tries to accomplish its goals. For them, it's not just about warning parents that Sex and the City contains shockingly enough sex; it's about forcing everyone in society to conform to their standards and ideas as to what is vulgar. They feel the need to get such shows and films banned, removed from existence and to penalize everyone even remotely involved with the program through boycotts and the FCC. They're not a useful group but rather lobotomized clones of Joseph McCarthy who pervert even the most innocent and innocuous actions to be something dirty and wrong.
Now, I know you might be thinking that I'm calling them dumb, because I'm fundamentally against censorship and because if you cry to me to think of the children, my instinctual response will be "Fuck your children." But you're wrong; these people really are dumb. For one movie, they list a dog urinating as bad language. Showing something pee is not the same thing as talking; something that has only one meaning is not a double entendre. If I have to explain that to you, yes, you're stupid. Fact. And even if I were willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, the examples behind the cut have proven to me that no, these people are even dumber than you thought they were.
I pulled the best stuff out for the lulz, but if you're too lazy to read, the entire post can best be summed up by this gif:
When you think of things not appropriate for young children, there are shows and films that automatically pop into your head. What you wouldn't necessarily imagine are the things that the Parents Television Council take specific issue with and the way certain things get a pass.
Below are shows that they've reviewed and things they've warned for. You'd be surprised. If you read nothing else, I high recommend reading about House, Pushing Daisies, and Sex and the City.
** America's Next Top Model: The PTC focuses rightly on the fact that there are lots of nude/semi-nude shoots. Unfortunately, it also specifically attacks born-in-the-wrong-body* model Isis as something to watch out for. *Yes, I know the technical term is transgender, but Isis doesn't actually like that term, so I'm being respectful of her by using the terminology she prefers. Instead of mentioning the girls who were rude, cruel, and discriminatory towards her, instead of mentioning Hannah who shoved Isis when Isis accidentally bumped into her, they warn against the woman who was victimized for being different. Worst of all, this is in contrast to NOT warning parents about Janice Dickinson. Look, I love Janice, but come on. She's not appropriate for most of humanity, much less little kids. Isis would have to have at least FIFTY penises before she became even remotely nearly as offensive as Janice.
** Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader?: This show has been rated appropriate for children of all ages. It's odd, because one of the qualities that the PTC upholds is patriotism. Last I checked, realizing that there are plenty of adults in this country who are dumber than fifth graders and that there are even more people who think that fact is entertaining and not sad at all does NOT encourage patriotism.
** Beverly Hills Chihuahua: In case you were wondering, dogs chasing one another is violence. Animals don't play that way with each other or anything; it's the same thing as me beating you up. Also "tinkle" is a bad word.
** Bratz: The Movie: The PTC is against those dolls, because the dolls look like prostitutes. However, they have no problem giving the green light of approval to the movie, thereby supporting the franchise. o_O
** Cold Case: This is part of their warning: "viewers should also be aware that this series has always been very anti-Christianity, depicting clergy, nuns, and even Amish as vindictive, judgmental murderers." Ignoring the fact that I feel like there's some sort of word missing around "Amish," I'm mentioning this here, so that you can remember it for when I get to Mad Men. But also, it really gets me that there's the implication that depicting any Christian religious figure is inherently anti-Christianity and absurd. Because religious figures are never the perpetrators of unimaginably horrific and unacceptable crimes. And I link that, by the way, as a Catholic woman who is not anti-Catholic. I just think that defending fictional characters' character is a lot less useful in protecting the well being of children than, say, making sure child abusers are not allowed to have access to our children. Crazy idea, I know.
** CSI: Miami: This show is given the highest warning possible for sex, language, violence, etc. I am disappointed to say that David Caruso's face is not warned for. D:
** Devil Wears Prada: They take issue with mentioning that Miranda Priestly has been divorced several times. Cause, you know, everyone watching that movie really thinks Miranda is the hero of the film and should be imitated in real life. I mean I know I want to be as fierce a bitch as Meryl Streep is in that movie, but I don't think that was intended. Also, the PTC takes issue with Andy being treated as though she's fat. Because that was never treated as absurd or anything... FAIL.
** Dexter: "Frigging" is mentioned as bad language. That seems like overkill to me as once you know the premise of the show, I think it's pretty safe to say it's not for kids. Or was the blood spatter on the promotional posters not enough of a hint for people?
** Gilmore GIrls: "While there isn’t any violence on the show, viewers should be prepared for harsh language." Yeah that Alexis Bledel is a regular Eminem. o_O
** Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Part of their review honestly makes me want to stab things, because one of their warnings is for the fact that Harry and company break school rules to practice defense. Yes. How dare those physically, mentally, and emotionally abused children who are being deprived of an education go out and try and learn on their own!
** House: And here we have some epic fail. They warn for language and sex and medical violence. They do not warn for DRUG ADDICTION. Popping pills is a-okay according to the PTC. Chase performing surgery? Now, that's perverted. So perverted in fact that violence gets a higher warning on this show than language.
** Mad Men: This week is the first time the PTC actually spoke out against the show. Why? Because there was some homosexuality. Which means that up until now they've approved of the following: racism, sexism, anti-semitism (notice how they're so willing to call one show anti-Christianity but not this one even though the anti-semitism is purposefuly done), a TON of drinking, smoking, urinating in your pants while drunk, lots of adultery, divorce, and a character being raped by her fiance. Note: The PTC has come out and said that it's not homophobic. However, that's impossible to believe as a). homosexuality is something warned against in other programs and b). they only took notice of Mad Men when there was homosexuality being shown on screen. Another note: they have video of the explicit moments on their website. If it's sooo wrong, why encourage viewership of any sort?
** Pushing Daisies: "The show also features a fair amount of sexual innuendo, most of it related to the fact that Ned cannot touch Chuck or she will die." Yes, all that conversation about Ned not being able to touch Chuck is sexual. Lets follow that idea to the end of the thought process, shall we? It means saran wrap = condoms AND gives the show tones of beastiality too. You know, since Ned can't touch Digby either. ;-)
** Ratatouille: Under violence is "dead rats are shown in a shop window." Yes, that's really violent. I'm sure none of the millions of people in the PTC kill or would kill pests in their home. I'm sure they don't feed their children meat or products that involve animals being harmed. Oh wait no. I don't believe that at all. Jesus Christ, these assholes are why we can't have real Disney villains anymore. It makes you really happy Sleeping Beauty was made years ago... cause if it were made today, these idiots would insist Maleficent only say something mean to Aurora... and even then, that would still be warned against.
** Sex and the City: You know this show isn't appropriate for young kids. What you might not know is that the Parents Television Council doesn't understand the concept of a boycott, because they keep a log (aka a list of quotes) of all of the episodes. ... which means they've actually been watching the show. What you might also be unaware of is the fact that feminism made women whores: "They once called women the 'fairer sex,' the civilizers of men, the paragon of reticence and manners. Then along came feminism, which promised women that they, too, could be loutish, horny, greedy, and profane."
Here's the thing for me: while the PTC is warning for things like teasing in Kung Fu Panda, there are children being sold for sex. There are children being forced to partake in the violence that killed their families. There are children being abused and exploited in the worst sorts of ways. I'm a big believer in being able to do multiple things at once, but I also believe that real threats to the well being of children are more important than the kind that come from your television. Instead of arrogantly and selfishly demanding that every television show and film conform to your ideas as to what's appropriate for children (cause certainly I wouldn't raise my kids to think feminists=whores, abuse is something you should accept, or that the only religion that matters is Christianity), why not use your power to stop some of the worst crimes against humanity?
Either actually think of the children, PTC, or seriously go eat a bag of baby dicks and learn what "double entendre" means.