TheTenSpot: Smooth Criminal
Ten things Murphy would do if she knew she wouldn't be caught.
01. Murphy would kill Munzer. If she could get away with it, she’d head to prison and kill him without batting an eye. The bastard killed her father and Harry stopped her from killing Munzer the first time. If she got a second chance, she would take that murdering bastard out and sleep like a baby afterwards.
02. Just once Murphy would like to punch a defense attorney in the face. It doesn’t have to be any defense attorney in particular, just one of them. Alright, they’re an integral part of the criminal justice system and there are some good one out there that help innocent people but damn it they get a lot of people who deserve jail off. It really ticks her off when that happens so just once she wants to slug one as hard as she can and get a little personal satisfaction from it.
03. Speaking of lawyers, she’d really, really, really like to slug her ex’s divorce lawyer. Actually, she’d like to get him into a boxing ring and go ten rounds with him. He wouldn’t last past one, but that would be if she used her full force right away. Nope, if she got that slimy bastard into the ring she’d play with him like a cat and really work him over before breaking his nose or jaw. That would feel really, really good.
04. Actually, she doesn’t want to beat up her ex. She’d castrate him. Nice and slow. With a spoon. Rusty spoon. While he was awake.
05. The next child murderer she got, she’d like to kill in the exact same way they killed their victim. Child murders unhinge her just a little and rot a little bit of her soul. She wants to get revenge for the child and she wants to get revenge for her own soul.
06. She’d really like to hit Kirmani one day. Not anything serious, just a smack upside the head hard enough so he stops being so stupid. He’s a great detective but every now and then he’s an idiot and hitting him instead of patiently explaining what he did wrong would be satisfying.
07. If she could get away with it, she’d sleep with Harry. Okay, it’s not like she hasn’t thought about it, they guy has kissed her twice, but sleeping with him would make things really complicated and she doesn’t want complicated. If she could get away with it though, well, she’s always wondered if he’s a wizard elsewhere.
08. The next PTA meeting she has to sit through, she’d like to call Felicity Hamilton on her drug arrest from two years ago. The woman is the most stuck up, self centered super bitch Murphy has ever met and she has to grit her teeth not to point out that the bake sale might have been a bigger success if she invited all her hungry druggy friends. She doesn’t do that though because the lecture from the other PTA moms and her ex is not worth it. Yet.
09. One day, she’d like to not show up when work calls. Especially if they call at three am in the dead of winter. She’d really like to be able to pull the blankets over her head, stay warm and cocooned in blankets and let someone else handle the call. It’s a simple pleasure, but unless you live in Chicago in the middle of winter, you can’t understand how powerful it really is.
10. Stop taking her anti-depressant. She hates those damn pills, hates how they make her feel, hate how they help but they don’t. She wants to flush every single one of those little white pills and dump them down the toilet. She’d never be able to get away with a good night of sleep again without them.
01. Murphy would kill Munzer. If she could get away with it, she’d head to prison and kill him without batting an eye. The bastard killed her father and Harry stopped her from killing Munzer the first time. If she got a second chance, she would take that murdering bastard out and sleep like a baby afterwards.
02. Just once Murphy would like to punch a defense attorney in the face. It doesn’t have to be any defense attorney in particular, just one of them. Alright, they’re an integral part of the criminal justice system and there are some good one out there that help innocent people but damn it they get a lot of people who deserve jail off. It really ticks her off when that happens so just once she wants to slug one as hard as she can and get a little personal satisfaction from it.
03. Speaking of lawyers, she’d really, really, really like to slug her ex’s divorce lawyer. Actually, she’d like to get him into a boxing ring and go ten rounds with him. He wouldn’t last past one, but that would be if she used her full force right away. Nope, if she got that slimy bastard into the ring she’d play with him like a cat and really work him over before breaking his nose or jaw. That would feel really, really good.
04. Actually, she doesn’t want to beat up her ex. She’d castrate him. Nice and slow. With a spoon. Rusty spoon. While he was awake.
05. The next child murderer she got, she’d like to kill in the exact same way they killed their victim. Child murders unhinge her just a little and rot a little bit of her soul. She wants to get revenge for the child and she wants to get revenge for her own soul.
06. She’d really like to hit Kirmani one day. Not anything serious, just a smack upside the head hard enough so he stops being so stupid. He’s a great detective but every now and then he’s an idiot and hitting him instead of patiently explaining what he did wrong would be satisfying.
07. If she could get away with it, she’d sleep with Harry. Okay, it’s not like she hasn’t thought about it, they guy has kissed her twice, but sleeping with him would make things really complicated and she doesn’t want complicated. If she could get away with it though, well, she’s always wondered if he’s a wizard elsewhere.
08. The next PTA meeting she has to sit through, she’d like to call Felicity Hamilton on her drug arrest from two years ago. The woman is the most stuck up, self centered super bitch Murphy has ever met and she has to grit her teeth not to point out that the bake sale might have been a bigger success if she invited all her hungry druggy friends. She doesn’t do that though because the lecture from the other PTA moms and her ex is not worth it. Yet.
09. One day, she’d like to not show up when work calls. Especially if they call at three am in the dead of winter. She’d really like to be able to pull the blankets over her head, stay warm and cocooned in blankets and let someone else handle the call. It’s a simple pleasure, but unless you live in Chicago in the middle of winter, you can’t understand how powerful it really is.
10. Stop taking her anti-depressant. She hates those damn pills, hates how they make her feel, hate how they help but they don’t. She wants to flush every single one of those little white pills and dump them down the toilet. She’d never be able to get away with a good night of sleep again without them.