Criminal Masterminds: Weird
Ever have a bizarre, unexplainable case/client/situation on the job? Has anything ever just been too weird or uncomfortable for you? Talk about it!
Well, what would you like to hear about is the better question. Recently, my partner and I have gained a reputation for the weird and unexplainable. Probably because we're willing to hire a wizard. Anyway, here are the best of the best.
- I arrested an FBI agent for murder. She thought she was a werewolf and killed eight girls in four different states before coming to Chicago. She took the canines and scalped the girls in an effort to reverse her curse.
- I had a suspect taken from a transport van. All four tires of the van were melted, the door was ripped off its hinges and the officers said they saw a demon do all of it.
- There was a huge string of robberies where no one could explain how the thieves got into locked bank vaults, locked jewelry stores, car dealerships, electronics stores. All employees were cleared, so the inside job theory was ruled out. Best guess is someone messed with the security systems.
- Two girls and one mob muscle had their hearts literally explode out of their chests, just like that scene in Aliens. We still don’t know how it was done. There were no powder burns on their chests, so no explosives. My partner suggested microwaves, but there were no burns around the wound or any flesh… cooked.
- I had to exhume a body for a case. It had been buried five years and when my ME took a look, he said the heart had been crushed. He came back the next day and all signs of trauma around the heart were gone, as if they had never been there. One body was found in a first floor apartment with every bone in their body broken from fall trauma. One guy drowned in the middle of the city on a street outside a mini-mart and one person died of an overdose with no drugs in their system.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg. I’m getting more weird cases every day. The detectives I work with joke that I’m becoming specialized, like a profiler. I just keep doing my job and keep closing cases, no matter how weird.
Well, what would you like to hear about is the better question. Recently, my partner and I have gained a reputation for the weird and unexplainable. Probably because we're willing to hire a wizard. Anyway, here are the best of the best.
- I arrested an FBI agent for murder. She thought she was a werewolf and killed eight girls in four different states before coming to Chicago. She took the canines and scalped the girls in an effort to reverse her curse.
- I had a suspect taken from a transport van. All four tires of the van were melted, the door was ripped off its hinges and the officers said they saw a demon do all of it.
- There was a huge string of robberies where no one could explain how the thieves got into locked bank vaults, locked jewelry stores, car dealerships, electronics stores. All employees were cleared, so the inside job theory was ruled out. Best guess is someone messed with the security systems.
- Two girls and one mob muscle had their hearts literally explode out of their chests, just like that scene in Aliens. We still don’t know how it was done. There were no powder burns on their chests, so no explosives. My partner suggested microwaves, but there were no burns around the wound or any flesh… cooked.
- I had to exhume a body for a case. It had been buried five years and when my ME took a look, he said the heart had been crushed. He came back the next day and all signs of trauma around the heart were gone, as if they had never been there. One body was found in a first floor apartment with every bone in their body broken from fall trauma. One guy drowned in the middle of the city on a street outside a mini-mart and one person died of an overdose with no drugs in their system.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg. I’m getting more weird cases every day. The detectives I work with joke that I’m becoming specialized, like a profiler. I just keep doing my job and keep closing cases, no matter how weird.