(no subject)
man, i needed an ego boost... my painting for design suckes... Pam, the teacher, decided that today would be another work day (because almost half of the class didn't bother to show up for almost an hour) and no one was finnished...
she gave me a few suggestions on what to change, and after i thought about it a little, decided i didnt have anything to lose, and did it... i realized i had at least a little to lose, and i lost it. as much as i may have not liked it before, not i detest it... fuck...
but then i got my ego boost! two fold no less!
i had idly mentioned to pam that i needed 2 letters of recommendation (well... really 'faculty evaluation' letters... letters of recommendation seems so presumptious...) and she had filled out 3 and gave them to me... so... that was cool... i really am glad i got them so fast, but i really didn't expect it... but then i took them back to my room and read them. Holding them up to a light you can read through the envelope... i felt like a secret agent... and i had to keep piecing it all together because there were places where her signature obscured one line folded on top of that area, or the NCSA logo would keep me from reading in that spot... but i got most of it and wrote it down in the real journal so that i could write it down here.
it reads as follows:
Eli Scott is presently enrolled in the visual arts program at the north carolina school of the arts, a residential high school and collegiate arts conservatory. I have been eli's desigh instructor during his two-year enrollment (2003 - 2005), and i must say that after almost 30 years of teaching, i have never met any student quite like eli [*i was getting a little nervous at this point*]. His very presence eminates light [*i swear to god it says that... i had to read it over and over again myself to believe it*], confidence and a spirit of individuality and maturity that we treasure highly. He comes to your program highly recomended for his integrity and visual gifts.
Eli's poise and graciousness while at first seem mannered [*kinda pissed off thats in there*], actually reflect this young man's grace, warmth and genuine confidence [*she redeamed herself, but i kina wish it hadnt been put in at all...*]. Whether he is sewing his own clothing designs [*actually betsy johnson... but i am hardly going to correct her here*], writing voluminous pages in his journal or contra-dancing, Eli has a real and focused intensity. In fact, while other students often jump into assignments without thought or deliberation, Eli is consistantly contemplative, not only in his artistic ventures, but in all aspects of his life. Sometimes in projects that demand spontaneity of hand and fast paced decision making, Eli flounders a bit [*whats funny about that is that is what i do best in... just not with how she presents it*]. I believe this to be because of his natural impulse to be analytical and thoughtful in all aspects of expression.
During his first year of design fundamentals Eli was both serious and ingenious. He approached visual problem-solving with clarity and ease. His natural _____________ [*never got that word... something is obscuring it...*] ability, graphic sense of color and shape, and expressive use of line wree strongly evident. His collage and mixed-media pieces reflect the strong compositional skills and value-handeling of a natural designer. This current year the advanced design comes strongly focused on concept and process. Much greater emphasis is placed on personal imagery, development, greater application of design principales, experimentation with diverse media and expression of artistic interest in the critique forum. Eli has continued to explore themes related to his own interest and conceptual parents. He is making great strides and using female hygeene products in amazing new ways [*i will confess, the last sentence i didnt get fully... i just filled in with what i think she would have said... oh... and the 'parents' in the sentence before... thats not right either... i couldnt get anything else as i was now reading through 2 sheets of paper and the envelope... so... it went on a little longer, but i got the brunt of it*].
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so that was kinda nice... but i think the most amazing, ego-boost-ful thing that has happened to me in... fuck... a long god damned time happened today too. Right after design class while i was putting all my shit away, Clyde (my dean/drawing instructor) was in the hall and used the word "perfect" to describe a piece we did recently... i don't even know how to respond to that... i have never heard him use a word like that to describe anyone's work (well, anyone short of Robert Motherwell or fuckin' Leonardo DiVenci or something...) i don't even know how i am suppose to respond to something like that... 'thanks' falls short and makes it seem like he did something, but 'yes' or 'i know' is way over the top haughty and not me... so...
i donnow, it just kind of baffles the mind...
anyways... today hasn't been too bad so far. its not going to keep up its goodness, but i'm also not expecting anything bad for the rest of today... i get to sit in an empty gallery for 3 or 3.5 hours (weeeee) and then go to a surprise birthday party for hunter... that should be fun.
whatever. i still have shit-loads of work to do for design and sculpture... in drawing we are pretty much doing everything in class, well, except for any out of class work we want to do on top of everything... which i have done some of... but not this weekend.
anyways, i may write more later tonight, may not.
LieS.
she gave me a few suggestions on what to change, and after i thought about it a little, decided i didnt have anything to lose, and did it... i realized i had at least a little to lose, and i lost it. as much as i may have not liked it before, not i detest it... fuck...
but then i got my ego boost! two fold no less!
i had idly mentioned to pam that i needed 2 letters of recommendation (well... really 'faculty evaluation' letters... letters of recommendation seems so presumptious...) and she had filled out 3 and gave them to me... so... that was cool... i really am glad i got them so fast, but i really didn't expect it... but then i took them back to my room and read them. Holding them up to a light you can read through the envelope... i felt like a secret agent... and i had to keep piecing it all together because there were places where her signature obscured one line folded on top of that area, or the NCSA logo would keep me from reading in that spot... but i got most of it and wrote it down in the real journal so that i could write it down here.
it reads as follows:
Eli Scott is presently enrolled in the visual arts program at the north carolina school of the arts, a residential high school and collegiate arts conservatory. I have been eli's desigh instructor during his two-year enrollment (2003 - 2005), and i must say that after almost 30 years of teaching, i have never met any student quite like eli [*i was getting a little nervous at this point*]. His very presence eminates light [*i swear to god it says that... i had to read it over and over again myself to believe it*], confidence and a spirit of individuality and maturity that we treasure highly. He comes to your program highly recomended for his integrity and visual gifts.
Eli's poise and graciousness while at first seem mannered [*kinda pissed off thats in there*], actually reflect this young man's grace, warmth and genuine confidence [*she redeamed herself, but i kina wish it hadnt been put in at all...*]. Whether he is sewing his own clothing designs [*actually betsy johnson... but i am hardly going to correct her here*], writing voluminous pages in his journal or contra-dancing, Eli has a real and focused intensity. In fact, while other students often jump into assignments without thought or deliberation, Eli is consistantly contemplative, not only in his artistic ventures, but in all aspects of his life. Sometimes in projects that demand spontaneity of hand and fast paced decision making, Eli flounders a bit [*whats funny about that is that is what i do best in... just not with how she presents it*]. I believe this to be because of his natural impulse to be analytical and thoughtful in all aspects of expression.
During his first year of design fundamentals Eli was both serious and ingenious. He approached visual problem-solving with clarity and ease. His natural _____________ [*never got that word... something is obscuring it...*] ability, graphic sense of color and shape, and expressive use of line wree strongly evident. His collage and mixed-media pieces reflect the strong compositional skills and value-handeling of a natural designer. This current year the advanced design comes strongly focused on concept and process. Much greater emphasis is placed on personal imagery, development, greater application of design principales, experimentation with diverse media and expression of artistic interest in the critique forum. Eli has continued to explore themes related to his own interest and conceptual parents. He is making great strides and using female hygeene products in amazing new ways [*i will confess, the last sentence i didnt get fully... i just filled in with what i think she would have said... oh... and the 'parents' in the sentence before... thats not right either... i couldnt get anything else as i was now reading through 2 sheets of paper and the envelope... so... it went on a little longer, but i got the brunt of it*].
------------------
so that was kinda nice... but i think the most amazing, ego-boost-ful thing that has happened to me in... fuck... a long god damned time happened today too. Right after design class while i was putting all my shit away, Clyde (my dean/drawing instructor) was in the hall and used the word "perfect" to describe a piece we did recently... i don't even know how to respond to that... i have never heard him use a word like that to describe anyone's work (well, anyone short of Robert Motherwell or fuckin' Leonardo DiVenci or something...) i don't even know how i am suppose to respond to something like that... 'thanks' falls short and makes it seem like he did something, but 'yes' or 'i know' is way over the top haughty and not me... so...
i donnow, it just kind of baffles the mind...
anyways... today hasn't been too bad so far. its not going to keep up its goodness, but i'm also not expecting anything bad for the rest of today... i get to sit in an empty gallery for 3 or 3.5 hours (weeeee) and then go to a surprise birthday party for hunter... that should be fun.
whatever. i still have shit-loads of work to do for design and sculpture... in drawing we are pretty much doing everything in class, well, except for any out of class work we want to do on top of everything... which i have done some of... but not this weekend.
anyways, i may write more later tonight, may not.
LieS.