(no subject)
Soon I will join my carnival runaway friend for some coffee debauchery ... thankfully the tropical aura has lifted off the face of PA and we can all think a little more clearly.
Last night's meeting went very well and I had an opp. to divulge my marketing scheme and people literally got chills from my recommendation... looks like my theatre major came in handy for the things I have planned... it's goingto be huge! Eric - the GD revealed this incredible sketch we will now use as the fundraising icon and in the press conference/ meeting before city council... right now I'm up to my ears in work, but I'm taking it a little easy as tomorrow the cryotherapy begins...
thankfully the day before I got to hit the pool did a few laps within the limits of my ear staying dry and just lay on a raft amidst the foliage dipping down on me in a serene garden ... it was great except someone told them I was coming and must have invited the wrecking crew over to drill large holes in the street near the "sanctuary". It still was blissful and later I dined happily with my Aunt and Uncle who were all smiles now that their son - my cous is doing so much better... (hmm I'm backtracking) oddly enough some guy on the drive home decided, as a passenger in the back seat of the car in front of me, to snap photos of me while I was driving... it was unnerving!and then they had the nerve to slow down while I was exiting to take more shots of me - I felt like the paparazzi were following me.. it was crazy... ugh.
I talked to Doc the other day... everything is all a mystery right now and I don't like it - I don't like second hand sincerity and I find cowards quite distasteful.
Trying to figure things out, we talked on the phone and everything seems fine... I'm just really plagued by something... what happened to all that open, trust and etc stuff we built this whole relation on? When things go into this arena I get very unpredictable...
An Artist and a Doctor.
He was the last person on a dating system all too well known by matched couples and mismatched couples and even couples just matching up bodyparts whether they realized it or not.
But he was like the others different in some way that she could see, but she was good at finding qualities she liked... she liked a lot of them - qualities that is.
So I text messaged him that I liked kissing him... thinking a normal response was... ditto? He texts back:
- " maybe next time in 2015... let me know if you want to talk about anything that happened. I know what it means to you and I'm always here to talk about it."
His references are shy, shallow, weak, assuming???? which one??? I don't get it... and I don't know if I want to - I can't put myself out there again. He used to be someone else I liked very much... I was truly hoping that someone would present themselves in the flesh, but instead I got some mediocre stunt double. He knows what it means to me about what... what the hell kind of a thing is that to say??? I recall he told me he used to tell the girls who were confused about his personality... the ones he wasn't going continue relations with, that he would always be there for them for understanding and piece of mind because he knew it meant something to them. Well he can go to hell if he thinks I'm going to submit myself to some stupid consolation prize such as his honorable words for solace!!! If silence is what you want then I'll give you plenty of it... I am done trying to get through to you... the only reason I even tried was because the man behind the curtain, behind the doctor's scope is so internally beautiful to me, he was worth fighting for.
What I wouldn't have given... to just talk to you face to face that night... see what color yours eyes really were... to hear your voice travel across my mind - not on a phone... I was always brought up in a place that recommended that when two people like one another they usually also like to pay attention to one another, not save the day for keeping up appearances ... not when I had so very little time with you. What might it have cost you to say some compliment, ... it's great to meet you... you look nice tonight... some vestige of something remotely romantic? All those days of endless laughter and conversation fell into the deep, dark and dirty cracks of the ny streets... I was being paid attention to by strange men all night, but you became the most strange to me.
I thought I tasted you on that one kiss that seemed to be able to give life to both of us... I felt hope... I remember more than you do ... how things tasted or how they felt - just a short miscalculation of time and sequence... how could I forget touching you.
There's so much there and I can't be the only one feeling it. No matter what happened... so much can happen. Time will tell. God what does it take?
Last night's meeting went very well and I had an opp. to divulge my marketing scheme and people literally got chills from my recommendation... looks like my theatre major came in handy for the things I have planned... it's goingto be huge! Eric - the GD revealed this incredible sketch we will now use as the fundraising icon and in the press conference/ meeting before city council... right now I'm up to my ears in work, but I'm taking it a little easy as tomorrow the cryotherapy begins...
thankfully the day before I got to hit the pool did a few laps within the limits of my ear staying dry and just lay on a raft amidst the foliage dipping down on me in a serene garden ... it was great except someone told them I was coming and must have invited the wrecking crew over to drill large holes in the street near the "sanctuary". It still was blissful and later I dined happily with my Aunt and Uncle who were all smiles now that their son - my cous is doing so much better... (hmm I'm backtracking) oddly enough some guy on the drive home decided, as a passenger in the back seat of the car in front of me, to snap photos of me while I was driving... it was unnerving!and then they had the nerve to slow down while I was exiting to take more shots of me - I felt like the paparazzi were following me.. it was crazy... ugh.
I talked to Doc the other day... everything is all a mystery right now and I don't like it - I don't like second hand sincerity and I find cowards quite distasteful.
Trying to figure things out, we talked on the phone and everything seems fine... I'm just really plagued by something... what happened to all that open, trust and etc stuff we built this whole relation on? When things go into this arena I get very unpredictable...
An Artist and a Doctor.
He was the last person on a dating system all too well known by matched couples and mismatched couples and even couples just matching up bodyparts whether they realized it or not.
But he was like the others different in some way that she could see, but she was good at finding qualities she liked... she liked a lot of them - qualities that is.
So I text messaged him that I liked kissing him... thinking a normal response was... ditto? He texts back:
- " maybe next time in 2015... let me know if you want to talk about anything that happened. I know what it means to you and I'm always here to talk about it."
His references are shy, shallow, weak, assuming???? which one??? I don't get it... and I don't know if I want to - I can't put myself out there again. He used to be someone else I liked very much... I was truly hoping that someone would present themselves in the flesh, but instead I got some mediocre stunt double. He knows what it means to me about what... what the hell kind of a thing is that to say??? I recall he told me he used to tell the girls who were confused about his personality... the ones he wasn't going continue relations with, that he would always be there for them for understanding and piece of mind because he knew it meant something to them. Well he can go to hell if he thinks I'm going to submit myself to some stupid consolation prize such as his honorable words for solace!!! If silence is what you want then I'll give you plenty of it... I am done trying to get through to you... the only reason I even tried was because the man behind the curtain, behind the doctor's scope is so internally beautiful to me, he was worth fighting for.
What I wouldn't have given... to just talk to you face to face that night... see what color yours eyes really were... to hear your voice travel across my mind - not on a phone... I was always brought up in a place that recommended that when two people like one another they usually also like to pay attention to one another, not save the day for keeping up appearances ... not when I had so very little time with you. What might it have cost you to say some compliment, ... it's great to meet you... you look nice tonight... some vestige of something remotely romantic? All those days of endless laughter and conversation fell into the deep, dark and dirty cracks of the ny streets... I was being paid attention to by strange men all night, but you became the most strange to me.
I thought I tasted you on that one kiss that seemed to be able to give life to both of us... I felt hope... I remember more than you do ... how things tasted or how they felt - just a short miscalculation of time and sequence... how could I forget touching you.
There's so much there and I can't be the only one feeling it. No matter what happened... so much can happen. Time will tell. God what does it take?