distraction strikes again
WHY THE FUCK AM I NOT WORKING ON MY PAPERS?
Curse you, last-minute panic! First, you hound me into paranoia, then you abandon me as I gleefully waste time online, checking the weather in STOCKHOLM, as if I didn't have a paper to finish and another one to start.
I also stayed very late at CUSFS, lingering in one of those fabulous long geeky conversations I always get sucked into, but I don't regret that. After all, it was my last CUSFS meeting of the year (eek! I'll miss it! Must find sci-fi geeks in Berlin!) and I never pass up conversations that include Pokemon slash, Baudrillard, dead baby jokes, and virgin sacrifices to Cthulhu.
On the way to CUSFS, in a terribly sleep-deprived state, I found myself thinking about how I've become nocturnal. And if I'm nocturnal, I reasoned, I could just reverse AM and PM, so that 8:00 PM, which felt so late before, could suddenly become early! For some reason, I thought that this would solve my problems. But 2:00 feels creepingly late, either as an AM or as a PM, and that logic didn't seem to have a very long shelf life. In any case, I do like working all night; we don't articulate very subtle differences between times of night like we do with the day, and so any dark time seems at least half-removed from time, a space where I can sit and write and not watch the light changing, always more quickly than I want it to. In the middle of the night, deadlines and professors seem irrelevant to what I'm doing; it's just the light of the computer screen and my eyes, seeing less and less of the dark.
Curse you, last-minute panic! First, you hound me into paranoia, then you abandon me as I gleefully waste time online, checking the weather in STOCKHOLM, as if I didn't have a paper to finish and another one to start.
I also stayed very late at CUSFS, lingering in one of those fabulous long geeky conversations I always get sucked into, but I don't regret that. After all, it was my last CUSFS meeting of the year (eek! I'll miss it! Must find sci-fi geeks in Berlin!) and I never pass up conversations that include Pokemon slash, Baudrillard, dead baby jokes, and virgin sacrifices to Cthulhu.
On the way to CUSFS, in a terribly sleep-deprived state, I found myself thinking about how I've become nocturnal. And if I'm nocturnal, I reasoned, I could just reverse AM and PM, so that 8:00 PM, which felt so late before, could suddenly become early! For some reason, I thought that this would solve my problems. But 2:00 feels creepingly late, either as an AM or as a PM, and that logic didn't seem to have a very long shelf life. In any case, I do like working all night; we don't articulate very subtle differences between times of night like we do with the day, and so any dark time seems at least half-removed from time, a space where I can sit and write and not watch the light changing, always more quickly than I want it to. In the middle of the night, deadlines and professors seem irrelevant to what I'm doing; it's just the light of the computer screen and my eyes, seeing less and less of the dark.