That Should Be Me!
One Shot: That Should Be Me!
That should be me, holding your hand..
That should be me, making you laugh..
That should be me, this is so sad..
That should be me..
That should be me, feeling your kiss..
That should be me, buying your gift..
This is so wrong, I can’t go on..
Till you believe, but that should be me..
Never should let you go, I never should let you go..
(Justin beiber, That sould be me)
Yunho loosened his tie, he was incredibly tired after finishing his work today. He was at his house at the moment an dput his briefcase on the table. His eyes wandered to the letters and invitations on the table. He grabbed the pile and looked through it, checking the senders one by one. Suddenly his hand stopped and he looked at the invitation he was holding. He opened it and read it. The aqua coloured paper showed a name. A name that he had loved for 6 years and was loving until this day. Even if Yunho tried to ignore his feelings and dated many people, he still couldn't erase them. He read the name again. Kim Jaejoong and Shim Changmin. The invitation had the big letter C and J on the front.
He remembered what had happened one year ago. He remembered that he broke up with his love, Kim Jaejoong. Even now he still regretted that. He didn't really know anything about Shim Changmin. The only thing he knew about him was that he was Jaejoong's colleague. He kept staring at the invitation and didn't do anything for a while, just gazing at the table where it lay.
Yunho's POV
'Just one year, only one year and he's able to forget me and move on? Just one year and he's already decided to marry another man? Does he never think about me any more?'
Yunho laughed and hung his head. He was laughing but without really realizing he started crying, too. Touching his chest he felt the pain once more. The pain that he had felt one year ago when Jaejoong dumped him.
Suddenly he got up from the sofa and grabbed his cell phone. He sent a message to the number that he still remembers so clearly, Jaejoong's.
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Yunho gazed again at his wristwatch, it was 3:15 PM at the moment. He knew Jaejoong was still the same, always late, and smiled when he thought of that habit of Jaejoong. Yunho had never hated him for it, though. He accepted him, just the way he was, so now he was waiting patiently for him. It was 3:30 PM when the door of the café opened and Jaejoong came in wearing a cold expression and approaching the seat in the back beside the large window. He didn't have to search for Yunho as he knew that he would always sit there. This seat was where they had been usually sitting for six years whenever they came here.
Jaejoong met Yunho's eyes. He stood still and kept some distance from Yunho.
'Yunho, what do you want? Stop annoying and bothering me,' said Jaejoong.
'Wow, Jaejoong, relax. So now it's Yunho and no longer Yunnie?'
'Yunho, just tell me what you want.'
'Take it easy, Jaejoong, sit down. Why are you standing so far away. I won't try to bite you.'
Jaejoong stood there with his cold mask and finally sat down. He tried his hardest to ignore Yunho.
'So Jaejoong, what would you like to drink? Oh, I know, a coffee latté with some cream on top. I remember, I'll order it for you.'
'Yunho, I don't want to just chat with you. I want to make you understand. I'm going to get married, Yunho, so please don't bother me any more!'
'Bother you? I've never bothered you, Joongie.'
'Never? So what's up with the message from last night? And... and... all the missed calls and messages saying that I belonged to you? This... this... how can I tell you...' said Jaejoong and showed Yunho the messages on his cell phone. Yunho just looked at it.
'So you've still kept my messages even if they're as old as three months?'
'Yunho, that's not the point. The point is that you're bothering me. Why have you been doing that for the past three months? Why? And what did you send me that message last night?'
'What message, Joongie? I don't remember,' said Yunho and sipped from his coffee.
'Don't act stupid, Yunho, last night you said in your message that I belong to you and if I didn't come to the usual place today, you'd ruin my wedding. Yunho please, I want to get married in two days.'
'You still remember what our usual place is even though you've never showed up for almost a year, and you're still late as always, Jaejoong.'
'Yunho, please, what do you want? Why did you send me this message?' shouted Jaejoong and people were starting to turn around to look at them.
'Jaejoong, lower your voice. Take it easy, Jaejoong.'
Jaejoong tried to control his anger and ignore Yunho's indifference. The waitress came and greeted Yunho then noticed Jaejoong.
'Oh, Jaejoong, it's been a long time. I haven't seen you in so long. How are you? What would you like to order? Oh, I know, the usual. I'll get if for you,' said the waitress, Soo Yeun, happily an went back to the kitchen.
'Soo Yeun, I don't...'
'It doesn't hurt you to drink something, Jaejoong. Do you have to ignore everyone that we both knew when we were still dating just to keep ignoring me?'
Jaejoong couldn't say anything to that and kept silent. When the order arrived he drank it quickly. He wanted to finish soon so he could hurry out of this place. When he was done he could feel Yunho's eyes on him. He gazed up and looked straight at him.
'Why are you staring at me? Just tell me what you want!'
'So now I'm not even allowed to look at you anymore.'
'Yunho, just...'
'You've finished your drink so let's go,' said Yunho and dragged Jaejoong out of the café. He brought him to his car and once he had gotten Jaejoong to get in he started the engine.
'Yunho, what do you want?'
'Just wait and see, Joongie.'
Yunho drove the car silently and brought Jaejoong to an amusement park. Jaejoong sat there and didn't move.
'Before we broke up I promised you I would take you to the new amusement park. So here we are.'
'Yunho, just forget about that promise. After all you didn't keep any of your promises to me.'
'I know and I'm sorry.'
'I've already gone there with Changmin anyway,' told him Jaejoong and Yunho was silent before dragging Jaejoong along. Yunho felt anger grip his heart and tried to control it.
They arrived at the entrance and Jaejoong stopped Yunho when he wanted to pay for the tickets.
'I can pay for myself. You don't have to treat me.'
'I know, Joonige, you've always told me that whenever I wanted to treat you, but this once I'd like to do it.'
Both of them went in. Jaejoong wasn't enthusiastic at all when they were on the rides even though Yunho tried his hardest to make him happy. They were on the roller-coaster right now and Yunho knew Jaejoong really liked this ride. Once they were at the top Jaejoong started shouting loudly and was laughing. Yes, laughing, Yunho saw it and smiled at Jaejoong who was still laughing and screaming all in one. When the ride was over they rested at a bench. Yunho got up and went to buy some drinks and got some mineral water for himself and Jaejoong.
'There you go. You look really happy. Take it,' offered Yunho and handed the water to Jaejoong.
'Thanks. It was really fun,' commented Jaejoong still smiling.
'Thanks God, finally you're laughing and smiling. You know a cold face doesn't suit you at all.'
Jaejoong was silently thinking about what Yunho said.
'Now you've put your mask on again. Let's go,' said Yunho and dragged Jaejoong along once more holding Jaejoong's hand like old times when they were dating.
'Yunho...' Jaejoong looked at their joined hands. He followed him and didn't say anything any more.
'Just for old time's sake, Jaejoong, just for the times when we were together. Open you cold mask and be yourself. Have fun with me,' begged Yunho while still dragging Jaejoong along.
Jaejoong watched his back and suddenly picked up his pace walking next to Yunho so he didn't have to drag him any more. Yunho was surprised and smiled with all his heart.
'Let's go!' shouted Yunho and both of them were running to the next ride. The rode almost all of them and Jaejoong laughed out loud every time. Yunho played a shooting game and asked Jaejoong what he wanted as a prize.
'Say, Joongie, what would you like?'
'Mmm... are you sure that you'll win, Yunho?'
'Yes.'
'Then I want the first prize.'
Yunho looked at it. It was a huge white rabbit doll. Yunho smiled at Jaejoong.
'I'll get if for you.'
Yunho tried several times and finally won it. The owner gave the doll to Jaejoong who took it with a happy expression.
'Here you go. You have a great, nice and handsome boyfriend, dear. You must be happy.' Jaejoong remained silent when he heard that. Yunho heard it too and was once more confronted with the truth.
Yunho's POV
'He doesn't belong to me any more.'
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The amusement park was closing. Jaejoong looked at his wristwatch, it was 9:00 PM. He had to go home. Changmin had already called him several times but Jaejoong hadn't picked up. He simply couldn't do that with Yunho around. He knew Changmin had to be worried by now. But he still couldn't pick up his calls.
Both of them got into the car where they were silent.
'Yunho, I have to go home now. Please let me go.'
Yunho started the engine and drove in the other direction.
'Yunho, where are you...'
But Jaejoong didn't finish his sentence as he remembered the scenery, the road. Yunho wanted to bring him to the park. The park where Yunho told him he loved him, the park where they watched the view of Seoul, the park where Yunho kissed him for the first time, the park where Yunho celebrated their anniversary, the park where Yunho proposed to him, a memorable park.
Jaejoong started to feel insecure and wanted to open the door.
'Jaejoong, don't. Please don't go. Only today. There's something I need to tell you. After all you want to know why I sent you these messages, don't you?' asked Yunho and held Jaejoong's hands. Jaejoong took his hands away from Yunho and remained silent.
They arrived. Yunho got out from the car and sat down on the bench in the center of the park. He could see the night view of Seoul from here. Jaejoong followed him. Both of them sat on the bench now. They kept silent and just enjoyed the view. Suddenly Yunho spoke up.
'You've really liked the scenery here. Whenever you had a problem you always came here. When I made you cry, too, I found you here. I was really happy when I found you. I had searched everywhere and this is where I found. Do you remember?'
'Yunho, I...'
'You want to know why I sent you that message?'
Jaejoong was silent and hung his head.
'It's because I have regrets, Jaejoong. I'm so stupid. The stupidest person in the world. Almost eight months, yes, full eight months I've tried to forget you. But when I realized I needed you I've tried to look for you and wanted to get you back. Do you know how I felt when I learned that you were in a relationship with someone else? I felt like an idiot, why couldn't I move on and be happy with another man? That's why I've never called you. But my heart was broken when I heard that you wanted to marry someone, and that someone wasn't me. That's why I sent you messages and called you this week. I couldn't take it any more when... when... I saw the wedding invitation. Do you have any idea how that made me feel?' shouted Yunho. But Jaejoong just remained silent.
'I was so hurt when you said you wanted to break up with me. Six years, Jaejoong, six years we were lovers and then you tell me you want to break up with me in a letter. Just a fucking letter. I was angry at you. I was so angry because you dumped me like that. I know that I made lots of mistakes. I know I didn't come to our engagement party. Your family and mine came, and I seriously wanted to keep my promise and come but I couldn't. My friend Ji Ho bumped into a car and I had to save him and accompany him. But you didn't believe me. When I was late and wanted to tell you that you accused me that I never kept any promises and you turned off your cell phone. I truly wanted to come, Joongie, but you didn't even give me time to explain anything. After that you sent me that letter where you told me you wanted a break-up. I was so angry at you. That's why I left but... but... I couldn't forgive you. I felt really stupid, why did I not go to your house and force you to listen to my explanation. Why did I not try explaining it to you. I was so angry at you, Jaejoong. Now I regret that. I regret it...' said Yunho who was crying hard by now, his back was shaking. Jaejoong cried too and still hung his head low.
Yunho hugged Jaejoong even if he didn't hug him back.
'I love you... I really love you. Can't you see that I love you? Can't you see my pain? I know I made mistakes and it's okay if you want to punish me. But don't you think I've felt enough of this pain? I really love you, Joongie.' Yunho was sobbing by now. He cried on Jaejoong's shoulder. Jaejoong couldn't take it any more and hugged him back.
'Yunho ... I... '
Yunho cut him off and kissed him, Jaejoong responded so Yunho kissed back.
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Yunho and Jaejoong were in the car by 10:30 PM. Yunho drove holding Jaejoong's hand. He kissed it every now and then and Jaejoong smiled back at him.
'You have to cancel your wedding. You don't have to be afraid. I'll come with you and explain it to your parents and then we can go back to how everything was in the old days. And we'll take a vacation, just the two of us,' said Yunho smiling.
'Yunho, then what's your plan? What will you do after that?'
'I don't really know, the most important thing is that I'm with you. We'll figure the rest out later,' said Yunho.
Jaejoong looked at his left hand and saw his engagement ring. He gazed at it and stared at Yunho's face.
'Jaejoong, are you thirsty? I'd like to buy some water in the next store.'
'Yes, thanks, Yunho.'
When Yunho stopped the car and went out Jaejoong just kept silent and looked at the ring. He turned on his cell phone and some messages arrived. He read them and cried silently.
Yunho got back in the car and smiled at him but Jaejoong simply stared back, not smiling.
'Jaejoong, what happened?'
'Yunho, let me go now. Please, it's over between us. I'm going to get married in two days,' said Jaejoong gently.
'What? But... but... you said you would come back with me. You said the wedding would be cancelled. Joongie?'
'Yunho, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. But I can't go back to you. It's over. I can't keep waiting for you, Yunho. You never change. You never know what you really want in life.'
'I know what I want in my life. I must get you back. I've changed, Jaejoong. I'll keep my promises. I'll never let you wait for me again.'
'And after that? Did you think about it, Yunho? You don't change. I remember the pain when I always had to wait for you, I felt insecure. You never kept any of your promises to me. I'm not the right person for you, Yunho.'
'Bullshit. I don't care. You said you chose me, Jaejoong.'
'I want you, Yunho, but I need him. I need Changmin. Now I realized that I need someone to share my problems with. It's fun when I'm with you, Yunho, but he makes me feel save. I'm not the one who can change you, Yunho.'
Yunho remained silent.
'Yunho, I'll never forget you. You'll be my best friend forever. I'm sorry, Yunho. I believe you'll find the right person.'
Jaejoong hugged Yunho who hugged him back. They were crying together. Suddenly he released him from his hug and caressed Yunho's cheek.
'Goodbye, Yunho. Thanks for everything you've done for me. Sorry for the pain I make you feel.'
Jaejoong got out of the car and walked away. Yunho didn't chase after him, he remained in the car.
Suddenly he started the engine and chased after him. He searched for Jaejoong, but Jaejoong wasn't alone any more, he saw him with another man. Jaejoong hugged that man getting into his car and they drove away.
Yunho knew that had to have been Changmin. He was crying again and hung his head. His back was shaking and suddenly he heard a song playing in the radio. 'That should be me, holding your hand... That should be me, making you laugh... Never should let you go, I never should let you go...'
He still cried.
The End
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Thanks for softis to beta this story.. thank you so much. please give comment..comment always loved..
PS: for db_sarang i'm sorry, i know i had ask your help to beta this story before, but you didn't seem answer all my question about this one shot to you. so i ask my usual beta reader and she wants to beta this story..
hope you will be understand
thanks.