(no subject)
well this is funny. i got the lj app for my android and it's not like i have anything profound to say but i mainly wanted to get it because no one uses livejournal anymore. i haven't used my laptop all day which is a huge accomplishment. i really don't want to chat with any of the 4 or 5 people who have been bugging me and bugging me and bugging me to become my old self again and hang out with them. i'm just not interested. and i can't change the way i feel just to make other people happy. that's one thing I'm really noticing about myself. it's annoying when people think you're selfish for that. or for self analysis. maybe i don't know myself as well as other people do and need more time to figure it out and why is that such a big fucking deal? and who knows...by the time that i do stop feeling this way, i may still have no interest in seeing these people again. are they gonna take it personally? totally. who the hell even understands this feeling? no one. sometimes people change. i tend to change and fluctuate a lot and i see nothing wrong with that. it would be nice to always just safely part ways with everyone you want to part ways with...but someone's feelings aaaaalways gets hurt and i find that extremely stressful. i can't always be everyone's shoulder to cry on especially at such a pivotal time where i just need some peace and quiet. it seems like whenever i feel this way is when eeeeeeveryone comes out of the woodworks to tell me i am being selfish and to stop isolating. well you know what? they can go fuck themselves. anyone who doesn't understand my need for space clearly has no business being my friend anyway. people always want to restrict others of oxygen. that isn't what friendship or love is..putting someone in a box...telling them what to do, playing a creepy parental role, always asking what you're doing. that's MY business. mothafuckas...
Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.