tick.
today was an orientation meeting for spring semester
there was a lot of blah, blah, blah
i was rapt
(that is not sarcasm)
there was a girl i liked on sight. she is short. her voice void of insincerity. hair pink, faded, greenish scarf covering.
she.
i will see her in paris.
she's probably in a class or two of mine.
i cannot fully explain why i like some people on sight, but i do, i do
there was also a girl that i disliked. first bitching at her mother. then bitching about her mother when the woman couldnt take it anymore and removed herself from her daughters presence. then bitching to her friends about another friend.
now, i can take bitching. i can even appreciate bitching, if it is done well and with skillful maneuvering of words. certain bitches can brighten a day like no one can. but this girl was just an unclever lump of fermenting bad humor, oozing forth her plume of pathetically trivial wrath. boring cunt. nothing that she complained about seemed even worth mentioning, let alone harping on. i was glad that she was with friends; it means that she is most likely rooming with them and has no chance of being put in the same room as me. her eyes and make-up and the waves of her hair reminded me of angel.
i hope that angel did not turn out like that. remotely
i hope that angel is doing well but i wonder how well she can really be doing
yesterday i found the word that describes what i have become: careless
careless in deed.
of deed.
sometimes there are stirrings of passion.
i don't know if anyone else notices.
maybe its a secret.
i have noticed something in someone else.
something that they said.
and i say:
maybe you should trust your instincts.
and it sucks, but you could be onto something there.
because i have seen behind a certain curtain.
and i dont know which side of it youre on
but last time i knew, he put on a good show.
so just be careful and wise
either way, youre strong enough
and thats all i have to say about that.
if tomorrow doesnt fleet before i'm fully cognizant of its very fucking presence... shit. i already forgot what it was that i wanted to get done tomorrow. jesus fucking christ. mid-sentence. what the fuck.
anyway. uh.
i cant find my passport.
you could call me a flake and i would not get offended.
i would commend you on your keen observational prowess.
listen, maybe it does not mean much, because SHOWING it is actually just as - if not more - important than simply feeling it, but i VALUE you. that is to say.. i think you are valuable, important, great, and worthy of good treatment and this neglect of mine (in SOME cases anyway. and yes YOUR case- in fact, in your case i will say not just my neglect, but also neglect from others) is completely inexcusable, highly offensive (to me for sure and maybe, almost certainly, to you) and i will take pains to be better. this goes for several people who might read this as well as many who never will.
i need to try harder
oh, digression! (all i post are digressions really)
my grades for fall semester were seven a's and a b
this cannot begin to convey the madness
the outcome looks so squeaky clean.
except for the b.. the b looks a bit like a smudge
a smudge that was totally unnecessary but entirely deserved
the grades, they conceal
i am utterly flabbergasted when i ponder on it.
i would have flunked my ass in several cases, and given c's in all the rest. maybe one or two b's.
in my frenzy... i somehow managed.. i dont know..
i dont understand.
but i'll take it.
it feels a little exotic to even give a shit
//end of school effluvium (stolen word; used poorly)//
lastly,
today i found six lifestyles condoms on the table next to my bed, spread in a row, as if crackers on a tray
they are Tuxedo Black "premium lubricated" with "flared shape"
i am not sure what the meaning of this little spread was except that my sister thinks she is a funny, funny girl.
well, she needn't make any trips to the health clinic for me. i am once more chaste.
maybe she was just rubbing it in.
there was a lot of blah, blah, blah
i was rapt
(that is not sarcasm)
there was a girl i liked on sight. she is short. her voice void of insincerity. hair pink, faded, greenish scarf covering.
she.
i will see her in paris.
she's probably in a class or two of mine.
i cannot fully explain why i like some people on sight, but i do, i do
there was also a girl that i disliked. first bitching at her mother. then bitching about her mother when the woman couldnt take it anymore and removed herself from her daughters presence. then bitching to her friends about another friend.
now, i can take bitching. i can even appreciate bitching, if it is done well and with skillful maneuvering of words. certain bitches can brighten a day like no one can. but this girl was just an unclever lump of fermenting bad humor, oozing forth her plume of pathetically trivial wrath. boring cunt. nothing that she complained about seemed even worth mentioning, let alone harping on. i was glad that she was with friends; it means that she is most likely rooming with them and has no chance of being put in the same room as me. her eyes and make-up and the waves of her hair reminded me of angel.
i hope that angel did not turn out like that. remotely
i hope that angel is doing well but i wonder how well she can really be doing
yesterday i found the word that describes what i have become: careless
careless in deed.
of deed.
sometimes there are stirrings of passion.
i don't know if anyone else notices.
maybe its a secret.
i have noticed something in someone else.
something that they said.
and i say:
maybe you should trust your instincts.
and it sucks, but you could be onto something there.
because i have seen behind a certain curtain.
and i dont know which side of it youre on
but last time i knew, he put on a good show.
so just be careful and wise
either way, youre strong enough
and thats all i have to say about that.
if tomorrow doesnt fleet before i'm fully cognizant of its very fucking presence... shit. i already forgot what it was that i wanted to get done tomorrow. jesus fucking christ. mid-sentence. what the fuck.
anyway. uh.
i cant find my passport.
you could call me a flake and i would not get offended.
i would commend you on your keen observational prowess.
listen, maybe it does not mean much, because SHOWING it is actually just as - if not more - important than simply feeling it, but i VALUE you. that is to say.. i think you are valuable, important, great, and worthy of good treatment and this neglect of mine (in SOME cases anyway. and yes YOUR case- in fact, in your case i will say not just my neglect, but also neglect from others) is completely inexcusable, highly offensive (to me for sure and maybe, almost certainly, to you) and i will take pains to be better. this goes for several people who might read this as well as many who never will.
i need to try harder
oh, digression! (all i post are digressions really)
my grades for fall semester were seven a's and a b
this cannot begin to convey the madness
the outcome looks so squeaky clean.
except for the b.. the b looks a bit like a smudge
a smudge that was totally unnecessary but entirely deserved
the grades, they conceal
i am utterly flabbergasted when i ponder on it.
i would have flunked my ass in several cases, and given c's in all the rest. maybe one or two b's.
in my frenzy... i somehow managed.. i dont know..
i dont understand.
but i'll take it.
it feels a little exotic to even give a shit
//end of school effluvium (stolen word; used poorly)//
lastly,
today i found six lifestyles condoms on the table next to my bed, spread in a row, as if crackers on a tray
they are Tuxedo Black "premium lubricated" with "flared shape"
i am not sure what the meaning of this little spread was except that my sister thinks she is a funny, funny girl.
well, she needn't make any trips to the health clinic for me. i am once more chaste.
maybe she was just rubbing it in.