TW for Being around triggering folks, and for triggering situations.
TW for talking about being triggered.
Just needed to blow off some steam(By which I mean, god save me from dismissive assholes who are dumb and young unless they're me)(also, there's this person at WFs who I just like really hate for a lot of reasons and I'm so fucking sick of them being invited to everything because I think they're evil):
"Hey Alice,
So initially, when I had a look at your post/event on Feminist network and Hes's reply, I got very frustrated at you, because I felt like Hes had addressed a very immediate and real concern involving precedents of bad behaviour and triggers with people in the guest list, in the most anonymous way possible, so as to not make people feel shame or survivors feel shamed, and you just trivialised it.
On reflection, I realised that you weren't aware of the circumstances that Hes was talking about, and would react differently if I were to communicate them to you.
So, in short, there is a person on the guest list who is attending who I know to be a perpetrator of sexual assault and who I know to have vocalised opinions on consent which made me feel both angry and unsafe. I have a friend who finds being in the same room as them triggering. It is not my business to name names - that is up to survivors and it is certainly not my business to disclose other peoples history to anyone - that would also be bad consent.
So, I'm letting you know that there is a 50% chance that I will not come because I don't want to be in the same room as this person, especially within the context of feminism, and because, unfortunately, the way which triggers and individual guests were talked about on the facebook page does not make me feel 100% safe and supported.
Kinds regards and thanks for organising this,
Flo
P.S. Rad Sex and Consent week at Melbourne utilised grievance officers really well, if you were to contact Luke or Kate directly, they could probably give you some really great pointers/ideas about the in person grievance officer role "
Just needed to blow off some steam(By which I mean, god save me from dismissive assholes who are dumb and young unless they're me)(also, there's this person at WFs who I just like really hate for a lot of reasons and I'm so fucking sick of them being invited to everything because I think they're evil):
"Hey Alice,
So initially, when I had a look at your post/event on Feminist network and Hes's reply, I got very frustrated at you, because I felt like Hes had addressed a very immediate and real concern involving precedents of bad behaviour and triggers with people in the guest list, in the most anonymous way possible, so as to not make people feel shame or survivors feel shamed, and you just trivialised it.
On reflection, I realised that you weren't aware of the circumstances that Hes was talking about, and would react differently if I were to communicate them to you.
So, in short, there is a person on the guest list who is attending who I know to be a perpetrator of sexual assault and who I know to have vocalised opinions on consent which made me feel both angry and unsafe. I have a friend who finds being in the same room as them triggering. It is not my business to name names - that is up to survivors and it is certainly not my business to disclose other peoples history to anyone - that would also be bad consent.
So, I'm letting you know that there is a 50% chance that I will not come because I don't want to be in the same room as this person, especially within the context of feminism, and because, unfortunately, the way which triggers and individual guests were talked about on the facebook page does not make me feel 100% safe and supported.
Kinds regards and thanks for organising this,
Flo
P.S. Rad Sex and Consent week at Melbourne utilised grievance officers really well, if you were to contact Luke or Kate directly, they could probably give you some really great pointers/ideas about the in person grievance officer role "