The Ghost of Christmas Past and Future

[lick_of_flame]

When they had told him, he'd been staring out the window of the baby's room. Imagining being home, imagining the snow that would be falling if he were back home. Fucked if he knew why he was still here. Cali-fucking-fornia. Only reason he stayed was in this very room. Or had been in this room

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[viv_ward]

Did she even hear everything he said? Twice she caught herself bringing her focus back in to listen to his words, entire sections missed despite her nods of agreement and nervous smiles. This man, her husband, the house - everything seemed to be happening to her, like she was drifting along in some dream and none of it was real and she had no say in the ending.

It didn't occur to her that she could turn around or change her mind. She had to know. Everything about him mesmerised her, from the curve of his nose to the shine of his hair. She must have kissed those lips. She found herself considering the swell of his bottom lip, scrutinising it almost. Did he know? Is that why he mentioned them? Had she once refused them, why had she changed her mind?

Love.

It had been love. She would never... not that, not a kiss, not unless...

Softly she smiled at him, desperately reaching into her mind to bring the memories back.

"Okay," is all she managed in response, the word barely uttered, just a whisper on the edge of her own lips.

And then she laughed, a pure unadulterated laugh as her gaze fell to the impressive building before them. "Man, that's a big house. Must be a bitch to keep clean." It was one of those nervous joke comments that she made so often when she was in uncharted territory and out of her depth, covering desperately for her ineptitude. He'd know it so well, he knew her so well, far more than she realised.

"I like the lights," she offered with a far quieter smile after an awkward pause. She wondered if now was the time to mention her daughter, what happened to her. But instead she kept smiling, despite the grief behind her eyes. "They're real pretty. I always liked the big houses with all the lights. You just know, if they spent that kinda cash on the outside, then they gotta have the biggest Christmas Tree inside. Like the ones in the stores, ya know?"

[lick_of_flame]

"It's easy to clean, if you know how. Everything is easy Vivian, if you know the way." His breathe blew over her head, ruffling the top of her hair. "And if you like lights, we can light this place up so bright the fucking stars can see it."

Was there a tree, well as a matter of fact there was. A large one, and he'd paid out the ass to have a decorator come make it all sparkly and shit. Had to keep up appearances. Now Top was glad that he had actually gone ahead and gotten the tree, gotten the candles and the strands of lights.

"Its not a store. Its a castle. Your castle, Cinderella." His arms wanted to hold her close to his chest, the desire was so strong just to crush her to him. But he held back, held on. Held control. Hard as it fucking was, he absolutely had to keep in control, not to frighten her away, not to lose her again.

"Welcome home." My love.