(no subject)
Okay, it's official. I have lost my mind. Rene just brought me a bag full of lunch and a diet coke and I burst into tears, I was so grateful to her.
I am ... pathetic.
All right, and ten minutes later, I just saw Amie Shapiro. She came into my store, looking mature and petite and cute and stylish with her curly pretty hair that I've always wanted. And this happens everytime, every fucking time, I see an ex-APAite. I catalogue all of the other person's good qualities while cataloguing my own negative ones. Here I am, eating practically nothing for days, and yet I'm gaining weight. I know I can't be pregnant, because certain things would have had to happen for that to be true, so my body's gone into starvation mode and I'm retaining whatever I DO eat. And all the while in my head is this mantra of "See? That's why you never got anywhere and you're stuck working retail." I fucking hate it when this happens. I especially hate it when they say something like "Good seeing you!" when she never said two words to me in school. None of them did. All of my few friends were in different grades and classes than me.
Gads, I feel so lonely. This sucks. This absolutely fucking sucks.
I am ... pathetic.
All right, and ten minutes later, I just saw Amie Shapiro. She came into my store, looking mature and petite and cute and stylish with her curly pretty hair that I've always wanted. And this happens everytime, every fucking time, I see an ex-APAite. I catalogue all of the other person's good qualities while cataloguing my own negative ones. Here I am, eating practically nothing for days, and yet I'm gaining weight. I know I can't be pregnant, because certain things would have had to happen for that to be true, so my body's gone into starvation mode and I'm retaining whatever I DO eat. And all the while in my head is this mantra of "See? That's why you never got anywhere and you're stuck working retail." I fucking hate it when this happens. I especially hate it when they say something like "Good seeing you!" when she never said two words to me in school. None of them did. All of my few friends were in different grades and classes than me.
Gads, I feel so lonely. This sucks. This absolutely fucking sucks.