(no subject)
well I have to get this off my chest!! Allens dad passed away Friday...and I was only 30 minutes away. I know Allen has told me soo many times that I came at the right time but I feel like I didnt. I feel like i should have been there before any of this. I should have been there to say goodbye and I wasnt able to make it. Everything went wrong that morning from my ride being late to not having my house key to get into the house. It was just crazy. I love his family and I know its hard for all of us to deal with this. But I still feel like I just wasnt hurrying to get there fast enough. All I wanted to do was say goodbye and tell him I love him but I couldnt even do that. I cant explain how bad that hurts just knowing I wasnt able to say goodbye. Ya I dont like it when people cry but I should have been there to hug Allen to hold and comfort him. DAMNIT I wasnt there cause of stupid traffic and thats going to be stuck in my head forever. I cant explain how many times this runs through my head and I break down and cry. I havent lost someone close to me in a long time and I just really dont know how to deal with it. Rest In Peace Edward Allen Keene. You will be missed but you brought up a wonderful son and I am thankful to be apart of your life while you were with us. Allen I love you and I am here for you and your mom whenever you need me =0) Sorry everyone I just had to get this off my chest and writing it makes me feel a little better thanks for puttin up with me!!