Everything Changes
There are so many things that can change and be effected by one incident, I can't explain or understand how it's done or how to fix it. Things are easily forgotten, maybe because I'm afraid to deal with the memories, so they're buried deep within my mind hopefully never to return. I can't live with hurting the people that I love because of my mistakes, so I'm making an effort to change - I can't hold onto my feelings anymore or suppress them to where they don't matter anymore because then they are never delt with. I still partially hold onto that hope that I might be perfect someday, and then realize I'm sadly mistaken, because I'm always going to be far from perfect.
Tomorrow, I will take a step towards releasing some of the weight from my shoulders, as well as the weight from the shoulders of another. I will make the best effort possible to get my priorities set straight, because if I don't then what life will I provide for my now unborn child?
Today marks a new day, a change for the better.
Journal entries will be written, hopefully, on a daily basis so I can make sense of my feelings and write down everything that I feel and the biggest things that are happening in my life, I will no longer suppress my memories - but rather deal with them when they happen. I will not vitiate my relationships with the people I care for because of my ignorance, or unwillingness to cope with my issues...today marks a new day.