Fic: Space Worms
Title: Space Worms
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: In no way mine or anything to do with me. I own nothing.
Summary: "He thinks you put something in his coffee, apparently he's been seeing coloured worms crawling out of the machinery all morning."
AN: Written for halftime1030 , who wanted to know why Owen was being more of a wanker than usual.
Ianto had been working on avoiding Owen. Who, in the few times he'd seem him, had looked set to perform dubious medical experiments on him.
But he'd completely forgotten about avoiding Jack. Which was why he completely missed him appearing behind him, hands pushed into his pockets, hip resting against the edge of the desk.
"Owen isn't very happy with you today," he started. Which, Ianto suspected, was his cue to jump in with...something.
"I can't think why," he said instead. Though his careful expression of surprise, clearly didn't fool Jack for a second.
"He thinks you've been messing with him, though I don't suppose you know anything about that."
"Should I?"
Jack made a noise that was both amused, and completely disbelieving. Then smiled, and slipped his hands out of his pockets, looped one of his ankles over the other.
"He thinks you put something in his coffee, apparently he's been seeing coloured worms crawling out of the machinery all morning."
"I could see how that would be quite disturbing," Ianto said, in a helpfully neutral tone of voice.
"I think I should worry about how good you're getting, at looking completely innocent."
Ianto practised his innocent look further, Jack was good practice.
"Stop practising on me," he said through a laugh, and Ianto slipped, just a little, quickly covered the noise with a cough.
"I wouldn't defile a perfectly good cup of coffee like that. Besides, it would be difficult to maintain a reputation for ruthless efficiency, and trustworthiness, if you got caught slipping hallucinogens into your co-workers early morning beverages."
"Naturally," Jack said smoothly.
"Which is why I put them in his sandwiches instead."
Jack doesn't smile, he doesn't, though it's clearly a monumental effort on his part.
"You realise now that if space worms do invade-" Jack raised an eyebrow meaningfully.
"That would be quite a 'boy who cried wolf' situation there," Ianto managed to look faintly contrite.
"Can I at least get a promise that, when it wears off, the worms will be gone for good?"
"Yes, absolutely," Ianto gave himself a moment to think about it. "Unless of course space worms do invade, in which case I promise, in advance, to not have planned said invasion."
Jack laughed, and shook his head. Then he pushed off of the desk, and came close enough that Ianto could feel the warmth of him through his shirt.
"No more putting hallucinogens into your co-workers food and drink," Jack said through, what he clearly wanted, to be something other than a grin. "I mean it, I can't run a smooth working environment if aliens are crawling out of the walls."
He slipped a file out from under Ianto's careful stacked pile, came just close enough to kiss, but then slithered away before Ianto could take a breath.
Ianto watched him climb the stairs, but curiosity forced him to call up before Jack disappeared.
"Are there really space worms?"
Jack leant over the rail.
"Oh yeah, three hundred feet long, hungry, Frank Herbert got it pretty close actually. That would have been a slightly more worrying hallucination."
Jack disappeared.
Ianto pretended he wasn't laughing, while he made fresh coffee.
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: In no way mine or anything to do with me. I own nothing.
Summary: "He thinks you put something in his coffee, apparently he's been seeing coloured worms crawling out of the machinery all morning."
AN: Written for halftime1030 , who wanted to know why Owen was being more of a wanker than usual.
Ianto had been working on avoiding Owen. Who, in the few times he'd seem him, had looked set to perform dubious medical experiments on him.
But he'd completely forgotten about avoiding Jack. Which was why he completely missed him appearing behind him, hands pushed into his pockets, hip resting against the edge of the desk.
"Owen isn't very happy with you today," he started. Which, Ianto suspected, was his cue to jump in with...something.
"I can't think why," he said instead. Though his careful expression of surprise, clearly didn't fool Jack for a second.
"He thinks you've been messing with him, though I don't suppose you know anything about that."
"Should I?"
Jack made a noise that was both amused, and completely disbelieving. Then smiled, and slipped his hands out of his pockets, looped one of his ankles over the other.
"He thinks you put something in his coffee, apparently he's been seeing coloured worms crawling out of the machinery all morning."
"I could see how that would be quite disturbing," Ianto said, in a helpfully neutral tone of voice.
"I think I should worry about how good you're getting, at looking completely innocent."
Ianto practised his innocent look further, Jack was good practice.
"Stop practising on me," he said through a laugh, and Ianto slipped, just a little, quickly covered the noise with a cough.
"I wouldn't defile a perfectly good cup of coffee like that. Besides, it would be difficult to maintain a reputation for ruthless efficiency, and trustworthiness, if you got caught slipping hallucinogens into your co-workers early morning beverages."
"Naturally," Jack said smoothly.
"Which is why I put them in his sandwiches instead."
Jack doesn't smile, he doesn't, though it's clearly a monumental effort on his part.
"You realise now that if space worms do invade-" Jack raised an eyebrow meaningfully.
"That would be quite a 'boy who cried wolf' situation there," Ianto managed to look faintly contrite.
"Can I at least get a promise that, when it wears off, the worms will be gone for good?"
"Yes, absolutely," Ianto gave himself a moment to think about it. "Unless of course space worms do invade, in which case I promise, in advance, to not have planned said invasion."
Jack laughed, and shook his head. Then he pushed off of the desk, and came close enough that Ianto could feel the warmth of him through his shirt.
"No more putting hallucinogens into your co-workers food and drink," Jack said through, what he clearly wanted, to be something other than a grin. "I mean it, I can't run a smooth working environment if aliens are crawling out of the walls."
He slipped a file out from under Ianto's careful stacked pile, came just close enough to kiss, but then slithered away before Ianto could take a breath.
Ianto watched him climb the stairs, but curiosity forced him to call up before Jack disappeared.
"Are there really space worms?"
Jack leant over the rail.
"Oh yeah, three hundred feet long, hungry, Frank Herbert got it pretty close actually. That would have been a slightly more worrying hallucination."
Jack disappeared.
Ianto pretended he wasn't laughing, while he made fresh coffee.