Fic: Entertainment, Gen, PG
Title: Entertainment
Author: Corona
Fandom: House
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: In no way mine or anything to do with me. I own nothing.
AN: Written for
partofthequeue2 using the prompts 'marker pens' 'ducklings' and 'Chase.' This is the clean use of said prompts, the naughty one isn't finished yet because House will not stop talking.
Wilson's search for House meets with success in his office. He is, predictably, getting up to mischief while unsupervised; though granted he's also fond of having an audience for his mischief.
Currently he's writing 'I am always right,' on the whiteboard in what looks suspiciously like permanent marker.
"Is that ever going to come off?" Wilson feels compelled to ask. House swivels far enough to look at him.
"Probably not."
"Do you have any idea what whiteboards cost?"
"Do you?" House returns, which is a fair point. "It's not like I'll have to buy new ones."
"Still should you really be defacing them?" There is a spray of cheerful pens in various colours and it's fairly clear that House has stolen them from somewhere.
"It's not defacement..." He pauses long enough to add grammatical flourishes to the sentence. "It's wisdom."
Wilson picks up the scatter of pens that are decorating the table.
"These 'are' permanent aren't they?"
"Permanent markers are so eighties." House steals them back anyway, snatching them in long fingers. Wilson decides he doesn't want to know, and he wants to annoy House while he's holding permanent markers even less.
"Where are your...what do you call them? Ducklings?"
"My inept medical minions are scattered in a random pattern that I'm sure only CSI would be able to make sense of, unless you meant actual ducklings?" House frowns. "I'm going to assume you didn't mean actual ducklings, even though we're always told that making assumptions is wrong."
"Are you actually planning on doing any work today?"
"There's no work to do." House decides...or possibly proclaims, it's sometimes hard to tell the difference.
"Funny, because I'm sure I saw some people in the clinic." Wilson has no choice but to point this out, there's a good chance he'll be questioned about it later.
"There's no work to do." House repeats, like maybe if he tries hard enough he'll hypnotise him into believing it.
"No interesting work?" Wilson guesses because around here there's always something to do.
"Do you actually want me to rate patients in order of entertainment value?" House tuts theatrically. "And people say I'm the callous one."
"Because I know how you get when you're not entertained," Wilson carries on like he hadn't spoken. "You have a nasty habit of going off and making your own."
"You say that like it's a bad thing."
"It is a bad thing," Wilson says without pause. "And I'm speaking from personal experience."
"You make it sound naughty," House is pretending to be clueless again and Wilson is paying absolutely no attention to that facial expression at all.
"Besides I don't always make it up on my own, sometimes I force other people to be entertaining while I watch. I can be amused for days sometimes without lifting a finger." He waves the pen and Wilson debates stealing it for one insane second before he can make a start on 'And you are always wrong.' It swings away, as if House is reading his mind, which on some days he's not entirely sure is impossible.
"Later, if I get really bored I'll offer Cameron fifty bucks to dance on a table."
"Which she will decline, barring mental impairment." Wilson has to point out.
"Jealousy is unattractive." House tells him. "If I offered you fifty bucks would you dance on a table?" House shakes his head. "What am I saying that's ridiculous, I could probably get you to do it for free."
"I think I should be insulted." House waves a hand, suggesting that being insulted is a waste of time that could be better spent on something more productive. Though Wilson knows for a fact that their ideas on what constitutes 'productive' are wildly different. "Perhaps you can convince Chase of the merits of table dancing."
House shakes his head.
"He has no sense of balance, things could get ugly."
"Like that's ever stopped you before." Wilson tells him and House scoffs at his lack of faith.
"I never said it wouldn't be entertaining."
Author: Corona
Fandom: House
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: In no way mine or anything to do with me. I own nothing.
AN: Written for
partofthequeue2 using the prompts 'marker pens' 'ducklings' and 'Chase.' This is the clean use of said prompts, the naughty one isn't finished yet because House will not stop talking.
Wilson's search for House meets with success in his office. He is, predictably, getting up to mischief while unsupervised; though granted he's also fond of having an audience for his mischief.
Currently he's writing 'I am always right,' on the whiteboard in what looks suspiciously like permanent marker.
"Is that ever going to come off?" Wilson feels compelled to ask. House swivels far enough to look at him.
"Probably not."
"Do you have any idea what whiteboards cost?"
"Do you?" House returns, which is a fair point. "It's not like I'll have to buy new ones."
"Still should you really be defacing them?" There is a spray of cheerful pens in various colours and it's fairly clear that House has stolen them from somewhere.
"It's not defacement..." He pauses long enough to add grammatical flourishes to the sentence. "It's wisdom."
Wilson picks up the scatter of pens that are decorating the table.
"These 'are' permanent aren't they?"
"Permanent markers are so eighties." House steals them back anyway, snatching them in long fingers. Wilson decides he doesn't want to know, and he wants to annoy House while he's holding permanent markers even less.
"Where are your...what do you call them? Ducklings?"
"My inept medical minions are scattered in a random pattern that I'm sure only CSI would be able to make sense of, unless you meant actual ducklings?" House frowns. "I'm going to assume you didn't mean actual ducklings, even though we're always told that making assumptions is wrong."
"Are you actually planning on doing any work today?"
"There's no work to do." House decides...or possibly proclaims, it's sometimes hard to tell the difference.
"Funny, because I'm sure I saw some people in the clinic." Wilson has no choice but to point this out, there's a good chance he'll be questioned about it later.
"There's no work to do." House repeats, like maybe if he tries hard enough he'll hypnotise him into believing it.
"No interesting work?" Wilson guesses because around here there's always something to do.
"Do you actually want me to rate patients in order of entertainment value?" House tuts theatrically. "And people say I'm the callous one."
"Because I know how you get when you're not entertained," Wilson carries on like he hadn't spoken. "You have a nasty habit of going off and making your own."
"You say that like it's a bad thing."
"It is a bad thing," Wilson says without pause. "And I'm speaking from personal experience."
"You make it sound naughty," House is pretending to be clueless again and Wilson is paying absolutely no attention to that facial expression at all.
"Besides I don't always make it up on my own, sometimes I force other people to be entertaining while I watch. I can be amused for days sometimes without lifting a finger." He waves the pen and Wilson debates stealing it for one insane second before he can make a start on 'And you are always wrong.' It swings away, as if House is reading his mind, which on some days he's not entirely sure is impossible.
"Later, if I get really bored I'll offer Cameron fifty bucks to dance on a table."
"Which she will decline, barring mental impairment." Wilson has to point out.
"Jealousy is unattractive." House tells him. "If I offered you fifty bucks would you dance on a table?" House shakes his head. "What am I saying that's ridiculous, I could probably get you to do it for free."
"I think I should be insulted." House waves a hand, suggesting that being insulted is a waste of time that could be better spent on something more productive. Though Wilson knows for a fact that their ideas on what constitutes 'productive' are wildly different. "Perhaps you can convince Chase of the merits of table dancing."
House shakes his head.
"He has no sense of balance, things could get ugly."
"Like that's ever stopped you before." Wilson tells him and House scoffs at his lack of faith.
"I never said it wouldn't be entertaining."