Fic: Technicalities
Title: Technicalities
Author: Corona
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Bodyswap snapshot, because it would not leave me alone.
Disclaimer: In no way mine or anything to do with me. I own nothing.
Notes: Comment, critique, point at bad grammar.
Spoilers: None
"She's sure it's broken?" Ianto is hoping desperately for a no. He's still holding onto his calm, though he suspects only because it's something he has become very good at. Working at Torchwood has taught him about the futility of not planning for every single eventuality and he won't react badly to this, no matter how much he wants to.
"It looked broken to me...smashed even," and Ianto wants to wince at such a brutal pronouncement because suddenly he has far too much hair, and the coat is a lot heavier to wear than it looks.
"This is just a minor technicality." Jack says reasonably, and it's more than a little disturbing to listen to an American accent coming out of a mouth that Ianto has been looking at in the mirror every morning for twenty five years. Also, Jack's doing the grin again and Ianto didn't even know he had that many teeth. He doesn't think it's an attractive look for him. It makes his nose scrunch up.
"It doesn't feel like a technicality to me," Ianto insists.
"She's found the specs for it and she thinks she can come up with another one by...maybe the day after tomorrow." Jack shrugs, and he manages to pull it off in his body, where it usually ends up looking so stiff and formal when Ianto tries it.
"Two days...." It's not what Ianto wanted to hear, and he feels more than a little annoyed by how much more petulant he sounds with Jack's voice.
Also, his hand has disappeared into his own sleeve and he was quite certain he'd never seen Jack's do that. So there was apparently an art to wearing the coat too.
"Don't you think this is at least a little weird...I mean I know you're difficult to shock but this is..." Ianto waved a hand between them, as if to sell the weirdness.
"It is a little strange, but it's not the first time I've had the opportunity to...appreciate myself from a new angle."
"Why would I even think you'd use this as anything but an opportunity to admire your own arse."
"Oh yours is lovely as well." Jack supplies, and really it's not fair, it isn't, so he ignores the statement. He can't stop fidgeting though, and he's honestly surprised at the fact that Jack, although utterly different to him still feels essentially the same.
"I thought you'd feel different somehow," Ianto admits.
"Different how?" Ianto has to think about it for a moment, because he's not really sure, it was just a sense he had.
"I don't know, X-ray vision, telepathy, ability to sense danger."
"Because clearly I'm one of the X-Men." Jack is quite obviously resisting the urge to laugh.
"You're certainly something." Ianto provides, because he's not willing to let it go that easily either. Jack, being completely Jack, brushes the insinuation aside like it never happened.
"Come on, we'll see what Tosh has to say now. It never hurts to encourage hastiness in your employees." Ianto follows him, because there's little else he can do, and because Jack is smiling and laughing, and looking completely wrong even if the flashes of intent underneath are all so inherently Jack that Ianto suspects he'd know it was him without even having to be told. If it wasn't his body he was currently wearing anyway.
Though knowing Jack he would do something extravagant and visually arresting to prove he was in fact him, not just a crazy person...if there was any distinction there at all.
Probably kiss someone, probably kiss him. Of course now he'll kiss like Jack, and the thought makes something stutter in his head.
"Wow, do you have any idea how long it's been since I've seen myself blush. What are you thinking?" Jack sounds far too amused, but there's something else curled under the words. He's much harder to read under Ianto's own face but he's so clearly thinking about-
"No." Ianto said simply
"No what?"
"No I'm not going to let you touch yourself. " Jack laughs and Ianto is tempted to thump his own body, but it feels traitorous in ways he could never, ever explain to any psychologist.
Jack passes him on the stairs and up into the main hub area, jogging on legs which aren't his but which he seems to wear better than Ianto ever did anyway. When Ianto catches up he's already sat at Gwen's desk, well on Gwen's desk and she's clearly in two minds about it.
"This isn't normal." Gwen says carefully, and she looks like she's tempted to poke Ianto's body, which he very much doesn't want to let her do, it's all extremely confusing.
Ianto takes off the heavy coat, has no choice but to take it and hang it up in Jack's office and everything feels just a little bit stranger. He struggles not to fidget on the way back to the others. He is in no way used to wearing braces, or military style boots, every time he moves something irritates.
"Can I at least take the braces off?" Jack shrugged.
"Sure but the pants will fall down."
"For the love of god don't take the braces off," Owen supplies from where he's leaning back on his chair.
"Ianto do you have to look so stiff, it gives me a hint of sinister that's quite disturbing."
"The same way your grinning makes me look like a complete idiot," Ianto admits honestly.
"Grinning doesn't make you look like an idiot," Jack protests.
"Mine might not, yours makes me look deranged."
"It does not."
"It does actually." Gwen clearly felt compelled to add.
"Thank you Gwen." Jack tried to do his patented wounded face and that was an expression which didn't fit either.
"That's not a great deal better." Gwen says carefully.
"Could you please just stop." Ianto is already quite sick of the whole thing, though Owen clearly feels obliged to chuck in an opinion as well.
"Mind you you're just as bad. That apologetic blandness doesn't really work on his face either, it makes him look like an escaped mental patient." He offers from around the pen in his mouth. Jack reaches over and snags it, then smacks him round the back of the head, which clearly amuses Gwen enough for her to smother laughter with the back of her hand.
Owen looks a little like he's not sure who to be pissed off at.
There is a click of heels on the walkway and Tosh appears, hair sticking up on one side, suggesting she's had her glasses pushed up while running simulations.
"Jack I've checked the run and-oh." Tosh caught herself with a hand raised in Ianto's direction.
"Umm."
"Over here," Jack supplies and beckons with a gesture and an amused smile.
Of course, it wasn't long before Jack was frivolously using Ianto's body, pacing it about the hub and waving his arms around and generally being the centre of attention while Ianto desperately resisted the urge to make coffee.
After a few minutes he wondered why he was bothering, it wasn't like Jack actually needed his body for anything at the minute, and Ianto really wasn't cut out for saving the world dramatics. He went to turn the machine on.
Author: Corona
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Bodyswap snapshot, because it would not leave me alone.
Disclaimer: In no way mine or anything to do with me. I own nothing.
Notes: Comment, critique, point at bad grammar.
Spoilers: None
"She's sure it's broken?" Ianto is hoping desperately for a no. He's still holding onto his calm, though he suspects only because it's something he has become very good at. Working at Torchwood has taught him about the futility of not planning for every single eventuality and he won't react badly to this, no matter how much he wants to.
"It looked broken to me...smashed even," and Ianto wants to wince at such a brutal pronouncement because suddenly he has far too much hair, and the coat is a lot heavier to wear than it looks.
"This is just a minor technicality." Jack says reasonably, and it's more than a little disturbing to listen to an American accent coming out of a mouth that Ianto has been looking at in the mirror every morning for twenty five years. Also, Jack's doing the grin again and Ianto didn't even know he had that many teeth. He doesn't think it's an attractive look for him. It makes his nose scrunch up.
"It doesn't feel like a technicality to me," Ianto insists.
"She's found the specs for it and she thinks she can come up with another one by...maybe the day after tomorrow." Jack shrugs, and he manages to pull it off in his body, where it usually ends up looking so stiff and formal when Ianto tries it.
"Two days...." It's not what Ianto wanted to hear, and he feels more than a little annoyed by how much more petulant he sounds with Jack's voice.
Also, his hand has disappeared into his own sleeve and he was quite certain he'd never seen Jack's do that. So there was apparently an art to wearing the coat too.
"Don't you think this is at least a little weird...I mean I know you're difficult to shock but this is..." Ianto waved a hand between them, as if to sell the weirdness.
"It is a little strange, but it's not the first time I've had the opportunity to...appreciate myself from a new angle."
"Why would I even think you'd use this as anything but an opportunity to admire your own arse."
"Oh yours is lovely as well." Jack supplies, and really it's not fair, it isn't, so he ignores the statement. He can't stop fidgeting though, and he's honestly surprised at the fact that Jack, although utterly different to him still feels essentially the same.
"I thought you'd feel different somehow," Ianto admits.
"Different how?" Ianto has to think about it for a moment, because he's not really sure, it was just a sense he had.
"I don't know, X-ray vision, telepathy, ability to sense danger."
"Because clearly I'm one of the X-Men." Jack is quite obviously resisting the urge to laugh.
"You're certainly something." Ianto provides, because he's not willing to let it go that easily either. Jack, being completely Jack, brushes the insinuation aside like it never happened.
"Come on, we'll see what Tosh has to say now. It never hurts to encourage hastiness in your employees." Ianto follows him, because there's little else he can do, and because Jack is smiling and laughing, and looking completely wrong even if the flashes of intent underneath are all so inherently Jack that Ianto suspects he'd know it was him without even having to be told. If it wasn't his body he was currently wearing anyway.
Though knowing Jack he would do something extravagant and visually arresting to prove he was in fact him, not just a crazy person...if there was any distinction there at all.
Probably kiss someone, probably kiss him. Of course now he'll kiss like Jack, and the thought makes something stutter in his head.
"Wow, do you have any idea how long it's been since I've seen myself blush. What are you thinking?" Jack sounds far too amused, but there's something else curled under the words. He's much harder to read under Ianto's own face but he's so clearly thinking about-
"No." Ianto said simply
"No what?"
"No I'm not going to let you touch yourself. " Jack laughs and Ianto is tempted to thump his own body, but it feels traitorous in ways he could never, ever explain to any psychologist.
Jack passes him on the stairs and up into the main hub area, jogging on legs which aren't his but which he seems to wear better than Ianto ever did anyway. When Ianto catches up he's already sat at Gwen's desk, well on Gwen's desk and she's clearly in two minds about it.
"This isn't normal." Gwen says carefully, and she looks like she's tempted to poke Ianto's body, which he very much doesn't want to let her do, it's all extremely confusing.
Ianto takes off the heavy coat, has no choice but to take it and hang it up in Jack's office and everything feels just a little bit stranger. He struggles not to fidget on the way back to the others. He is in no way used to wearing braces, or military style boots, every time he moves something irritates.
"Can I at least take the braces off?" Jack shrugged.
"Sure but the pants will fall down."
"For the love of god don't take the braces off," Owen supplies from where he's leaning back on his chair.
"Ianto do you have to look so stiff, it gives me a hint of sinister that's quite disturbing."
"The same way your grinning makes me look like a complete idiot," Ianto admits honestly.
"Grinning doesn't make you look like an idiot," Jack protests.
"Mine might not, yours makes me look deranged."
"It does not."
"It does actually." Gwen clearly felt compelled to add.
"Thank you Gwen." Jack tried to do his patented wounded face and that was an expression which didn't fit either.
"That's not a great deal better." Gwen says carefully.
"Could you please just stop." Ianto is already quite sick of the whole thing, though Owen clearly feels obliged to chuck in an opinion as well.
"Mind you you're just as bad. That apologetic blandness doesn't really work on his face either, it makes him look like an escaped mental patient." He offers from around the pen in his mouth. Jack reaches over and snags it, then smacks him round the back of the head, which clearly amuses Gwen enough for her to smother laughter with the back of her hand.
Owen looks a little like he's not sure who to be pissed off at.
There is a click of heels on the walkway and Tosh appears, hair sticking up on one side, suggesting she's had her glasses pushed up while running simulations.
"Jack I've checked the run and-oh." Tosh caught herself with a hand raised in Ianto's direction.
"Umm."
"Over here," Jack supplies and beckons with a gesture and an amused smile.
Of course, it wasn't long before Jack was frivolously using Ianto's body, pacing it about the hub and waving his arms around and generally being the centre of attention while Ianto desperately resisted the urge to make coffee.
After a few minutes he wondered why he was bothering, it wasn't like Jack actually needed his body for anything at the minute, and Ianto really wasn't cut out for saving the world dramatics. He went to turn the machine on.