"So you sailed away... into a grey sky morning"
I am in such on odd place right now. I have no idea what I want and I'm torn between feeling comfortable and being brave.
I am very excited about going to SCU this fall and continuing my adventure. However, for this first time ever I actually want to stay in Richmond. I came back this time around less disappointed than I thought I would be. I have connected with people that I haven't connected with in a long time and also along the way I was able to make new friends. I think the only reason I want to stay in Richmond is because of my friends. I don't think I'm destined to stay here really.
Going to South Carolina will be good for me. I'm not ready to stop exploring and to stop trying new things. Despite the fact that I will still be in America, I will be in a place that I have never been before which gives me plenty of reason to explore what South Carolina has to offer. Besides, if I find myself unhappy, I can always come back. I am the only one holding myself back from doing anything.
The idea of being stuck however keeps running across my mind. This time around, I am only a few hours drive from Richmond once I move and I know that it won't be so easy to just jump in my car and come up here every time I get homesick.
Along with being torn between being comfortable and being brave comes attachment. I didn't want to come attached anymore than I had to while being in Richmond because I knew that I wouldn't be staying here very long. Well now I find myself far too attached, and I don't want to say goodbye. I hate it. Even though I'm only moving a few states away, I still have to leave my friends and family. I guess when you are reconnected with people that has been in your life for the most important part of it, you don't want them to leave.
Every time I leave and come back, I have less and less friends. I was told time and time again that the friends I have in high school will not always be my friends. I need to accept that I guess. With the new friends I have made, I am very happy. They have my stay here far more eventful than it would have been.
In short, I am in a bit of a funk and I need to figure out what it is that I want. I need to clear my head of all of this with no distractions. Which is easy for me to do now that I have the ability to lock myself away and just be alone.
I leave for South Carolina in 11 days...
I am very excited about going to SCU this fall and continuing my adventure. However, for this first time ever I actually want to stay in Richmond. I came back this time around less disappointed than I thought I would be. I have connected with people that I haven't connected with in a long time and also along the way I was able to make new friends. I think the only reason I want to stay in Richmond is because of my friends. I don't think I'm destined to stay here really.
Going to South Carolina will be good for me. I'm not ready to stop exploring and to stop trying new things. Despite the fact that I will still be in America, I will be in a place that I have never been before which gives me plenty of reason to explore what South Carolina has to offer. Besides, if I find myself unhappy, I can always come back. I am the only one holding myself back from doing anything.
The idea of being stuck however keeps running across my mind. This time around, I am only a few hours drive from Richmond once I move and I know that it won't be so easy to just jump in my car and come up here every time I get homesick.
Along with being torn between being comfortable and being brave comes attachment. I didn't want to come attached anymore than I had to while being in Richmond because I knew that I wouldn't be staying here very long. Well now I find myself far too attached, and I don't want to say goodbye. I hate it. Even though I'm only moving a few states away, I still have to leave my friends and family. I guess when you are reconnected with people that has been in your life for the most important part of it, you don't want them to leave.
Every time I leave and come back, I have less and less friends. I was told time and time again that the friends I have in high school will not always be my friends. I need to accept that I guess. With the new friends I have made, I am very happy. They have my stay here far more eventful than it would have been.
In short, I am in a bit of a funk and I need to figure out what it is that I want. I need to clear my head of all of this with no distractions. Which is easy for me to do now that I have the ability to lock myself away and just be alone.
I leave for South Carolina in 11 days...