"Just 19 and suckers dream, I guess I thought you had the flavour"
I decided to stay home today because jet lag was pretty much preventing me from having a normal nights sleep. Ever since I got home, I would sleep for about 2.5 hours and then wake up and wouldn't fall back asleep until about 7 in the morning, which really sucks when you have to get up at 7 for school. So I stayed home today so I could get back on a normal sleep schedule before I got myself too stressed out and sick like the last 2 times I came back from KY to Germany. I thought I would save myself the trouble.
Nothing here has really changed. Except for my outlook on things. To be honest, I want school to be over with. If I could get my diploma now (which I very easily could)and be done with high school I would. I'm not saying I would be done with school for good, but I just don't like the amount of stress I'm under and I'm not even doing the full IB. My history teacher yesterday was what it seemed like to me was discouraging me from taking the IB history exam in May. That's fine and dandy because if I could I would, but it costs a lot of money to change my exams now and I need to take this exam for university. However, the aspect of him discouraging me from actually taking the exam is not helping me to build up any confidence I have. I am aware that I only did 2 out of the 3 essays for my HL exam but I was under a lot more stress than usual, I blanked and I didn't have much time to prepare for this exam because I was busy studying for other exams as well. Of course, the real IB exams will be different, and each exam will be spaced out differently, so I won't be taking a 3 hour math exam all at once and I'm sure that I will have more time to study since the exams are over a 3 week period. I also have a little over 4 months to prepare for the exams and that very thought scares me more than anything.
As for university, I am really rather excited about the experience. I think this time I am ready to be on my own, get a job and just the experience of it all. I am actually excited about getting a job, a real job that isn't waiting for a family to decide that they want to go out for dinner and now they need a babysitter. I have 6 months to save enough money for a car, while I try to look for a job and a place to live. I can't spend too much time worrying about it since I have other slightly more important things to worry about.
So I have written about 3 paragraphs about my current worries and I don't really know what to do with it. I guess instead of sitting here and continuing to write, I should get my work done. It's 2 days back into school and I have somehow managed to get myself behind on work, and all of this work was assigned yesterday. I would like to know how I actually get myself into this.
Nothing here has really changed. Except for my outlook on things. To be honest, I want school to be over with. If I could get my diploma now (which I very easily could)and be done with high school I would. I'm not saying I would be done with school for good, but I just don't like the amount of stress I'm under and I'm not even doing the full IB. My history teacher yesterday was what it seemed like to me was discouraging me from taking the IB history exam in May. That's fine and dandy because if I could I would, but it costs a lot of money to change my exams now and I need to take this exam for university. However, the aspect of him discouraging me from actually taking the exam is not helping me to build up any confidence I have. I am aware that I only did 2 out of the 3 essays for my HL exam but I was under a lot more stress than usual, I blanked and I didn't have much time to prepare for this exam because I was busy studying for other exams as well. Of course, the real IB exams will be different, and each exam will be spaced out differently, so I won't be taking a 3 hour math exam all at once and I'm sure that I will have more time to study since the exams are over a 3 week period. I also have a little over 4 months to prepare for the exams and that very thought scares me more than anything.
As for university, I am really rather excited about the experience. I think this time I am ready to be on my own, get a job and just the experience of it all. I am actually excited about getting a job, a real job that isn't waiting for a family to decide that they want to go out for dinner and now they need a babysitter. I have 6 months to save enough money for a car, while I try to look for a job and a place to live. I can't spend too much time worrying about it since I have other slightly more important things to worry about.
So I have written about 3 paragraphs about my current worries and I don't really know what to do with it. I guess instead of sitting here and continuing to write, I should get my work done. It's 2 days back into school and I have somehow managed to get myself behind on work, and all of this work was assigned yesterday. I would like to know how I actually get myself into this.