( video; english ) capslock is for cool kids
[ Anyone living in Marshall may have noticed the bizarre structure America has been building for god-knows-how long. It is complete. And it is a monstrosity. It looks like he was trying to build this, gave up a fourth of the way through, began to make this, and then stuck a reclining chair in the middle of it. It is all splashed with horrendously vibrant orange paint. It's only about twelve feet tall. ]
HEY HOLLAND I FINISHED YOUR WINDMILL! It doesn't really do anything, so I put a chair in it! Now you can sit on a comfy chair--way better than a throne--and hold hegemony over all windmills! That's all you get though because I'm number 1 at everything else.
[ one last shot of America's smiling face before it's switched to text. ]
( text; )
Wow this was a bad idea, my fingers are freezing, but I thought moving them around to type would warm them up but apparently not. Okay now I'm inside never mind.
HEY. PHANTOM GHOST TRACER. I'M PRESUMING FOR LIKE TEN SECONDS THAT YOU'RE NOT 100% EVIL, SO I NEED YOU TO DO ME A REALLY BIG FAVOR. GO FIND A DEAD HANDYMAN TO FIX THE WATER HEATER AT MARSHALL. MY DAUGHTER KEEPS COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW I NEVER SHOWER AND I TELL HER, "NAMINE, IT'S COLD" AND SHE'S ALL "DAD PLEASE PUT ON SOME PANTS" AND I TRY TO EXPLAIN THAT THE SHAME ASSOCIATED WITH A LACK OF CLOTHING IS A HUMAN CONCEPT THAT IS SO INGRAINED TO ARCHAIC SOCIETY THAT ANYONE WHO CAN'T FREE THEIR MIND ENOUGH TO LOOK PAST THE INBRED EMBARRASSMENT AND REALIZE THAT IT'S ALL NATURAL, BUT SHE'S STILL KINDA PUSHING IT.
ANYWAY FIND SOMEONE TO FIX MY WATER HEATER. ASK A DEAD GUY. OR GOD. CAN YOU DO THAT?
JAPAN COME OVER HERE TO PROTECT ME IN CASE THE GHOST IS A COMMUNIST AND TRIES TO BETRAY ME.
MY FINGERS ARE TOO COLD TO TURN OFF CAPSLOCK.
HEY HOLLAND I FINISHED YOUR WINDMILL! It doesn't really do anything, so I put a chair in it! Now you can sit on a comfy chair--way better than a throne--and hold hegemony over all windmills! That's all you get though because I'm number 1 at everything else.
[ one last shot of America's smiling face before it's switched to text. ]
( text; )
Wow this was a bad idea, my fingers are freezing, but I thought moving them around to type would warm them up but apparently not. Okay now I'm inside never mind.
HEY. PHANTOM GHOST TRACER. I'M PRESUMING FOR LIKE TEN SECONDS THAT YOU'RE NOT 100% EVIL, SO I NEED YOU TO DO ME A REALLY BIG FAVOR. GO FIND A DEAD HANDYMAN TO FIX THE WATER HEATER AT MARSHALL. MY DAUGHTER KEEPS COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW I NEVER SHOWER AND I TELL HER, "NAMINE, IT'S COLD" AND SHE'S ALL "DAD PLEASE PUT ON SOME PANTS" AND I TRY TO EXPLAIN THAT THE SHAME ASSOCIATED WITH A LACK OF CLOTHING IS A HUMAN CONCEPT THAT IS SO INGRAINED TO ARCHAIC SOCIETY THAT ANYONE WHO CAN'T FREE THEIR MIND ENOUGH TO LOOK PAST THE INBRED EMBARRASSMENT AND REALIZE THAT IT'S ALL NATURAL, BUT SHE'S STILL KINDA PUSHING IT.
ANYWAY FIND SOMEONE TO FIX MY WATER HEATER. ASK A DEAD GUY. OR GOD. CAN YOU DO THAT?
JAPAN COME OVER HERE TO PROTECT ME IN CASE THE GHOST IS A COMMUNIST AND TRIES TO BETRAY ME.
MY FINGERS ARE TOO COLD TO TURN OFF CAPSLOCK.