Led Away
Author: yantzi
Title: Led Away
Part: 2/2
Pairing: Mel/Leda
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Pre-show. The story of the relationship between Leda and Mel.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything about the characters or show.
A/N: This is my first story in here as well as my first story in this fandom. I didn't watch the whole show, only the 2nd season and I hope that I stayed true to the characters. Let me know what you think.
It was evening and I was reading a book in bed. Leda was out, checking out a party in campus. She tried to persuade me to come with her, but I was too tired for that and urged her to go by herself. I was already asleep when a knock on the door woke me up. Thinking Leda forgot her keys, I got up to open the door for her, but was surprised to see a girl I didn’t know.
“You’re Leda’s girlfriend?” She asked. I nodded and yawned. “You need to come with me. She’s not waking up.” Without explaining herself, the girl pulled me by the hand down the hall and into the room where the party was taking place. There was a lot of noise, like humming and many people gathered at one spot, where I assumed Leda was. The girl pushed them aside and they let me through. Leda was leaning against a wall; six empty bottles of beer were thrown around her.
“Did she drink all that?” I asked and pointed at the bottle. I knew that Leda liked to drink, but was not easily affected by alcohol. The girl nodded. I grabbed Leda’s chin and lifted her face to level with mine. “Leda,” I gently slapped her. “Leeds, wake up.” I said. Raising her head a bit to check her pulse, I saw a small trace of white powder inside her nose. “Call 911, immediately!” I called out. I quickly checked Leda’s vitals. She was breathing and had pulse, although very weak.
Leda was taken to a hospital where she was quickly treated in order to get all the toxins out of her system. I chose not to call her parents, even though I knew that they had the legal rights to sign for her. I knew that they were the only ones Leda listened to and didn’t want them to get mad at her. It took two and a half hours until I could see her. A nurse led me to her room. The walls of the room were gray and bare and except for all kinds of tubes and switches that stuck out of the wall. Leda was lying in an hospital bed in the middle of the room, her eyes closed, her face were pale and greenish, her mouth was slightly opened and an oxygen mask covered her face. An IV was stuck in her arm; some wires went out of her shirt and connected to the heart monitor that stood next to her bed. I took Leda’s hand, noticing the blood pressure gauge clipped on her middle finger. The situation seemed so impossible. Leda was smarter than that. I knew that she smoked pot from time to time, to relax, but I didn’t think she would even try harder drugs, let alone mix them with alcohol. Her eyes fluttered open and shut for a few moments and she sent her hand to remove the oxygen mask from her face.
“Mel, what’s going on?” She asked. I explained to her slowly what happened and she sighed and squeezed her eyes shut. “I got carried away.” She mumbled.
“Leda, this is more than carried away. This is dangerous.” I said. I know it wasn’t the time to preach her, but worry was taking over me.
“Did you call my parents?” She asked. I shook my head slowly. “Good.” She looked at me silently for a few moments, and then sighed. “Thank you, Mel.” She said and before I could find out what she was thanking me for, she closed her eyes and fell asleep.
Leda was released from the hospital a few days later. I wanted her to see a professional consultant, but she claimed that she was not a drug addict and was not ‘using’ regularly.
“I was just giving it a try. It’s not like I didn’t smoke pot before.” She argued.
“This was not pot, Leda. It was a dangerous mix of cocaine and alcohol. You could have died.” I’ve never felt such rage coming over me before.
“I made a mistake, Mel. It’s not a reason to see a shrink.” Leda grinned. I grabbed her arm forcefully, shaking her violently.
“You fucking idiot! Can’t you see that you’ve got a problem?” I shook her, feeling the tears gushing from my eyes.
“What problem are you talking about?” Leda called out, trying to push me away from her.
“You do all those dangerous things, like climbing on railway bridges, taking drugs and driving way beyond the legal speed limit on your bike. What’s with all this destructiveness?” I screamed at her. I didn’t even notice until that moment that I was choking her.
“You’re a goddamn bitch, Mel.” I felt Leda forcefully pushing me down to the bed and climbing over me, tightening her legs around my thighs and holding my wrists. “I like the adrenaline; I like danger. I even freaking liked when you were choking me, a moment ago.” She smiled at me widely. I could see red marks on her neck, from my hands, but she didn’t seem to care. “Mel, it was even dangerous for me to fall in love with you. I never fall in love, as a rule.” I sighed. Leda was weird from the beginning, but I liked her weirdness until now. “I won’t try cocaine again, Mel. Don’t get so mad because of it.” She let go of me and lied down next to me. Sighing deeply, I pushed myself up and climbed over her, tearing her clothes from her body with my bare hands and raped her. And God help me, she loved it. Afterwards, when we were lying side by side, she rested her head on my shoulder and wrapped her bruised hand around my waist, pulling me into an eager kiss. “You’re better in bed than any man that I ever slept with.” She said when we broke apart.
“I want numbers.” I teased her.
“Sixteen men.” She smiled and kissed me again. “And you’re crazier than all of them together as well.” She raised herself from the bed. I could see that there were bruises on her thighs, arms, shoulders and neck. “I’m gonna take a steaming shower. Are you coming?” She asked and I followed her into the bathroom, knowing that she’s gonna get back at me now.
Leda and I quickly became inseparable, for the simple reason that I was scared of the things that her fearless nature might make her do. I didn’t realize until the incident with the cocaine that even the invincible Leda needed a personal guard from time to time. I was not an aggressive person, but Leda made all of my anger come out of me and often we had violent fights that usually ended with incredible makeup sex and I was amazed how much our relationship has changed because of that. At the beginning, I thought it was a good thing, since it added spice to our relationship, but soon it turned out that even by following Leda everywhere I couldn’t stop Leda from hurting herself, and she did, very often. I could see a sudden change in her mood. She looked less and less happy and became easily irritable. A few times I caught her crying in the bathroom, but every time I asked her, she said that she had a rough day and wouldn’t agree to tell more. For a month or so, I left her alone. Leda was usually open with me and if she didn’t want to tell me something, it must have been very personal. I didn’t wanna push her to tell me anything, but a few suspicions rose in my mind.
If not for that phone in the middle of the night, I would probably not have a clue about what was happening. It woke Leda and me up and she answered it sleepily. I heard her exchange a few words with the caller and after hanging the phone up, she jumped out of bed and started dressing up.
“Leeds, where are you going?” I asked and got out of the bed. She looked at me, disoriented.
“I really can’t speak right now. I have to go.” She said and was about to go.
“I’m coming with you.” I declared and threw clothes on myself. Leda grabbed the keys for the motorcycle and we went out. I didn’t know where we were heading until Leda parked her bike in front of the Parker Memorial hospital and sighed. “Leeds, who are we going to visit?” I asked as Leda quickly pulled me by the hand through the hospital’s empty halls. Finally she stopped, in the entrance to a room in the oncology ward.
“Mel, I want you to stay out.” She took my hand. I wanted to ask who’s inside the room, but she looked at me, stressed. I squeezed her hand and gently kissed her.
“It’ll be alright.” I said and she went into the room. I waited out of the room for a few hours and finally, at 4 AM, I saw Leda and her father going out of the room. Both of them were sobbing. I wrapped my arms around her and let her sob into my shoulder.
Leda’s mother was buried the following day and from that moment on, Leda’s eyes were dark and inexpressive. She refused eating and didn’t even find any comfort in her beloved smokestack hood or in photography. I quickly found out that she skipped two weeks of classes and started failing. She was lying in our bed, staring tearfully at a photograph of her mother when I entered the room. The moment she saw me, she wiped her eyes and hid the picture under her pillow. I took a seat by her side and slid my hand under the pillow, taking the picture. Leda tried to stop me, but I entwined my fingers in hers. “It’s alright to grieve, but you need to go back to normal.” I said and put the picture on the bed. “You need to go to classes again.”
“I wanna drop out, Mel.” She sighed.
“Leeds, I know that any words that I’ll say would seem meaningless and stupid, but your mother must have left this world trusting you to go on living.” I stroked her silken hair, only now noticing how thin and sick she looked. “I’m not saying that you’re not allowed to have moments of weakness, but you have to give your father courage, now that he’s alone.” Leda pulled herself into a seating position and buried her face in my shoulder, silently sobbing.
“I’m sorry, Mel. I miss her so much.” Her voice was choked, as if she told me her deepest secret.
“I know.” I rubbed her back slowly, feeling how it was slowly soothing her.
“Mel, take my credit card and buy all the booze that you can find. I wanna get drunk and not think about her tonight.” Leda said and I patted her back gently and kissed her on the chick.
“Where’s you’re wallet?”
Leda was sleeping silently next to me and it was the first night since her mother died that she slept so calmly. It was because she was drunk, of course, but I knew that as long as it was a one time thing, it was okay for her to drink in order to forget. I knew that she will be going through a bad time and I also realized my importance in her life now. Leda was a human being and even if she displayed a happy and careless behavior it didn’t mean that she didn’t have the right to cry or feel down. I think that Leda knew in the future years that the thing that changed her view on life was not becoming a lesbian, but losing her mother. That was the first time in her life she cried for something that was worth her tears. I passed my fingers through her hair and leaned to kiss her softly. Then I lied down next to her and wrapped my arms around her, falling asleep.
The next day I forced Leda to go to her classes and suggested that afterwards we’ll go to the smokestack hood. Although she did not seem very thrilled to go there, she agreed. And in the evening, after she finished her classes and I finished my assignments for the day, we took the bus together to the smokestack hood. As usual, we climbed on the bridge and Leda placed her tripod on the railway. She took out a joint and lit it and after smoking it, she smoked another one. Then, she placed the camera on the tripod and started setting it to the mode she wanted.
“Leeds, are you okay?” She was very quiet and looked a bit sick. She started walking down the rail, away from me or from the camera and then went off the rail and walked over to the edge of the bridge looking down. I looked at her, not believing what I was seeing. She walked over to the edge of the bridge, not caring that only a few steps separated between her and certain death. As I saw that she wasn’t about to stop, I leaped from my spot and caught her arm, quickly pulling her backwards. By the look on her face it was easy to figure out that she was not even realizing what happened. She was way too stoned.
I knocked on the bathroom door and went in without waiting for an answer. Leda was sitting in a full bathtub and staring at the white tiles of the wall. I dragged a small chair and placed it behind the bath, taking a seat. Leda did not even show a sign that she saw me. I put my hands on her shoulders and started massaging her neck.
“Leeds,” I softly uttered her name. “I want you to see a counselor.”
“We’ve been through this before.” Leda’s voice was cracked and held no emotion.
“I know, but Leeds, you really need help. You are depressed.” I replied, my fingers working on her shoulders. I could feel the tension in her body.
“Mel, if you wanna break up with me, I’ll understand.” Leda said.
“Is that what you want?” I asked. She remained silent for a few moments and then shook her head slowly. “I know you’re going through a hard time, Leeds. I think that just this once you have to listen to me and trust me.” Leda brought her legs to her chest and buried her face in her palms. I could hear her sniffling and I rubbed her back, knowing that it will sooth her a bit. “It’s alright, Leeds. You’ll go through that and I’ll be here by your side.” I put my hand on her shoulder and she entwined her fingers in mine.
“Do whatever you think is needed.” Her voice was barely audible. I put my palm on her cheek and captured her lips between mine. For the first time since her mother’s death, she let me kiss her and it was a sign for me that she trusted me.
In the following weeks, Leda kept herself as busy as she could. When we weren’t together, she took her camera and went out to shoot some photos. I didn’t see the photographs until the day when she entered into our room, looking as happy as a person could be, holding a paper and waving it in the air. She handed me the paper and smiled cheerfully at me. I haven’t seen such a beautiful smile on her face for quite a few weeks. I looked at the paper she handed me, shocked to see the logo of the Swedish on the top. National Photography Academy
“What is it?” I asked Leda, who’s eyes shone like a thousands stars.
“I sent my portfolio to the SNPA and they decided to grant me a scholarship to study there. Can you imagine?” She asked.
“When did you finish your portfolio? I thought that you were working on your exhibition.” I replied, not sure what to say.
“I’ve been working on it since I started going to classes again. I’ve been shooting in the children oncology ward in the hospital where my mother was treated. Then the head of the photography program said that they were too good for the exhibition, and recommended that I try my luck with some schools. So far the Swedish National is the only school that replied, so I think that I’m going to accept and go to Sweden next year.” Leda explained.
“Is it considered a good school?” I asked.
“It’s the second best photography school in the whole world.” Leda smiled widely. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace. At least she was happy, after a few long weeks. I was glad to see her smile, but my heart was hurting from the inside. Leda and I have been together for the last 8 months and since the academic year was about to end in a month, it meant that if Leda accepted the scholarship, we might have to split up.
“Are you going to accept it?” My voice was shaking and I felt the storm that was about to burst inside me.
“I...” Leda appeared to be thinking about it for a few moments. “I haven’t made a decision. Sweden is… far. And my father, I think he still needs me.”
“What other schools did you apply for?” I asked.
“The Ginsburg in NYC.” Leda replied. “If I was accepted, I should get a notification this week.” Art Academy
“So there’s a chance you won’t have to go to Sweden.” I replied.
“Yes, but I Probably will.” Leda replied. “I wanna go for the best I can get.” I took her hand and brought it to my mouth. “I know what you are thinking about, Mel.” She sighed.
“What are we going to do?” I asked in frustration.
“I love you but I don’t wanna give up on this opportunity.” Leda sighed. Then her eyes shone mischievously. “Why won’t you come with me to Sweden? We’ll have fun together.” She suggested.
“I don’t know. Leeds, I can’t move to Sweden with you. I’m sorry.” I sighed. I let go of her hand, took a seat on the bed and buried my face in my palms. Leda sat down next to me.
“I will know for sure by the end of the week if I’m leaving or not.” She said, trying to soften the blow. “Oh, I haven’t even showed you the photos.” She changed the subject. She threw her backpack on the bed and opened it, taking out a brown envelope and handed it to me. I took the photos out of the envelope and flipped through them, not paying real attention to what I was seeing in them. Given the fact that Leda was the person who took them and that she got into the SNPA for them, I assumed that they were good, but concentrating on them was not something I was able to do.
“Their beautiful.” I said and handed them back to her a few moments later. I think she noticed that I didn’t really look, but she pretended that she didn’t.
“I’m glad you liked it.” She said and took my hand. She gently pulled me closer to her and dropped a quick kiss on my lips. “Mel, it will be okay.” She said.
Leda’s suitcase was open on our bed and she was packing her belongings slowly, as if she wanted it to take longer, so she won’t have to leave so soon. I was not helping her, for the same reason and I just sat there and watched her, feeling a pinch deep inside my heart. I watched every move she made and wondered how I was going to live without her. Summer vacation was about to start the next day and in fact I was also supposed to be packing, but I couldn’t think of leaving this room, knowing that when I come back the next year, everything will be different. She looked up to me and I saw tears shining in her eyes. Suddenly I realized that I wasn’t the only one who felt bad about this and it was as hard for Leda as it was for me.
“You know I’m happy for you, right?” I asked. She nodded slowly. “And I trust you to become a famous for your excellent photographs. I don’t know many photographers, but I know that you capture your soul in the photos you take.” My voice was shaking, as I was trying to hold back my tears, but I could see her lips curving in a beautiful smile.
“If this huge suitcase was not on the bed, I’d pin you down and give you the best fuck you’ve had in your life.” She declared.
“What stops you from moving it aside?” I grinned and she looked at it for a moment and then zipped the suitcase and took it off the bed.
“Absolutely nothing.”
The End