fic: a life without regret 36/?
Author: Gracie
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: No, I don't own it, I'm just borrowing them for a little fun. Alias and all the characters belong to Touchstone, ABC and the talented JJ. Abrams.
Timeline: To fit in with future storylines, I have changed the time of when SD-6 was brought down. Sydney is now four months pregnant and this fic begins in early November.
Summary: Sequel to No Regrets. Trying to make normal.
Chapter 36
Sydney POV
Standing against the doorframe with one hand on the brass handle and the other resting on my side I watch the steady rise and fall of his chest needing to be sure that he is resting comfortably. I quietly step backwards and pull the door so it is almost closed. Padding slowly I end up in the nursery, step inside and find myself lost in the room that is slowly coming together. I walk over to the window and close it and as I do so, look down into the backyard and see Cookie digging yet another hole. I inwardly cringe. The slightly overgrown, but still perfectly manicured gardens we had when we moved in have slowly been pruned and excavated by my rambunctious six month old puppy.
Needing a rest, (I can’t do anything these days without needing one!) I decide to think about what I need to be doing while I rock in the chair we’ve moved into the room. I ease myself down and revel in the fact that I am actually comfortable there - a rarity now days. I scan my eyes around the room and know that I should be getting things together while I have the time but I rest my head back and am completely content even with everything that’s happened this past weekend still fresh on my thoughts. As I start rocking back and forth trying to rid myself of those things my mind surprises me, sweeping me away to another time and place.
I start to wonder about what would have happened if I never told Danny the truth. Would we still be engaged? Would we be married? Would he be the one sleeping in the next room and not Vaughn? Would he still even be alive? It makes you wonder. Then there are all the other things that would have come into play had I not told him that fateful day in the shower. Would SD-6 still be around? Would Sloane still be torturing me slowly and painfully day by day?
I look down at the simple band resting on that finger now and realize about how different it all could have been. Twirling it around my fingers I have a hard time flicking those thoughts away but it’s hard not to think about it, especially given everything that has unfolded since that lazy Saturday afternoon. I never thought, laying there on that couch with him talking to my then flat toned stomach, about what would play out once those fateful words slipped through my lips and reached his ears.
”I work for the CIA”, I told him seriously. His face told me he wasn’t taking me seriously. When I confirmed it though, it stiffened, unsure, fearful. Then he broke. I always knew the consequences of letting my secret out. It haunted me everyday, but I had to do it, I couldn’t hide it anymore.
Months passed on after the night I found him in the bathtub, the days went slower than ever, filled with anguish and regret from my actions. Then one day, out of nowhere and certainly when I was least expecting it, he walked through a door, so sure of himself, sure that he held the upper hand over me.
”Well, this could be very interesting,” he commented, beginning the conversation. I was such a bitch to him. I remember thinking that he was the typically arrogant suit type, ready to say and do anything to get ahead. That he wouldn’t have known anything about my line of work if his life depended on it.
All of that changed, and as the dragging days began to speed up, I let myself open a tiny window ready to let him in. I lost Danny, but I realize that in losing Danny I was sent on a journey to my now husband. I’d like to think that Danny sent him to me, my guardian angel always ready to protect.
Shaking my head and blinking my eyes tightly a couple of times I bring myself back to the present and take note of the flurry of late afternoon sunlight spilling in through the light curtains. The room is illuminated in a soft golden glow and mixes brilliantly with the walls that are painted in the same tones. Looking over to my right I follow the border of giraffes that my father and Vaughn put up and giggle when I notice that it’s a little crooked towards the door. I hadn’t noticed it upon earlier inspection.
“You’re not going to take any notice of that, are you baby?” I coo, rubbing my huge belly. “Your dad and Grandpa worked so hard, we’re not going to tease them.” I leave the room and head downstairs, grabbing a few bags that we’ve kept stored in the office until we were ready to ‘move in’ and take them back up there. Since the painting was finished, we’ve installed a few shelves around the place and hung a few pictures matching the giraffe theme on the walls, filling in some space. I haven’t wanted to put up too many, knowing that in the months to come there will be plenty of pictures available to fill that void.
Dumping the contents of the bags in a heap atop of the change table to the right of the room I set to work planning where things should go and putting the things away appropriately. I meticulously fold the tiny clothing items we’ve bought and fill two drawers in the dresser in no time. I suddenly realize that I may have gone a little overboard with my purchases, especially considering we don’t know the sex.
“Your momma is having way too much fun planning for you little one,” I say, petting my belly and tidying up the rubbish I’ve created. I take another few trips downstairs, bringing things up with me each time and repeating the same steps as the first and soon all of the bags are cleared from the ground floor and their contents neatly put away where they belong. I’m putting the last of the stuffed animals on the shelf next to the window when I hear someone behind me clear their throat.
Whipping around, I see my husband standing by the door frame watching me. “You’re doing it again,” he tells me casually, waltzing toward me. I brush him a look of disapproval at him being up.
“Doing what?” I ask as if I don’t know.
“Talking to her like she’s right here.”
I stare at him pointedly, with a well duh expression.
“It’s cute,” he wraps his arms around me from behind, resting his fingers on my belly and rubbing his hands all over me. His breath is hot on my neck as he speaks. “You run a whole conversation with her, you’ve been doing it for the past half hour and you haven’t even noticed.”
I turn around and fall into his embrace. “You’re supposed to be in bed, what are you doing up?” He shrugs me off without answering and I look up into his eyes and run my hand along his jaw line to around to the back of his head where the bandages cover the stitches along his temple and into his hair.
“Syd, it wasn’t that bad, you overreacted just a little, don’t you think?”
“No Michael, I don’t think I overreacted just a little. You smashed your head on ice so hard that you split the side of your skull open, passed out for a half an hour and landed yourself in hospital overnight with a severe concussion.”
“Okay, fine. But seriously, Syd it’s nothing I haven’t had before,” I send him an expression noting my disagreement and he ignores me. Watching me as I continue with my previous task in the room we continue steady conversation.
“What about Eric?” he blurts out.
“What about Eric?” I snap back, not ready to have this conversation. He lets out a frustrated sigh.
Let me explain from the beginning. Friday afternoon Francie and I left for Ojai to spend a relaxing weekend just the two of us in a world renowned resort and spa.
I’m going to call as soon as we check in,” I said to Vaughn, nuzzling my face towards him and taking in the last seconds we had together before I left. My best friend was beside me mimicking the same actions as I with her boyfriend. We were outside of the house, my new car gassed up, bags packed ready to leave for our two day getaway.
”Go, have a great time down there, RELAX,” he reminded me, pushing me away and stepping over to my car and opening the door for me.
His best friend was also there for our farewell and then piped in. ”Don’t worry about him, or me for that matter. I’m going to look after him for you. He’ll be in the same condition come Sunday evening as he is right now,” he prided himself like a goofball. I couldn’t help but laugh as I approached him and gave him a hug.
Pulling back I looked him square in the eye. ”I’m gonna hold you to that Eric Weiss.
I climbed into the car and readied for us to leave. Francie joined me a second later, giddy and ready for us to be gone. Sliding down the electric windows I was embarking on my first long distance trip in my car, the first away from my husband.
“We’ll be fine Syd. I did look after myself before you were around y’know. We’re going to have a blast while you’re gone and I want you to, too, he winked at me.
Seconds later we were pulling out of the driveway and on our way. If only I could have truly trusted the words of Eric Weiss.
The weekend went by at lightening speed, Francie and I reaching new heights of ultimate relaxation. It was my treat to her, two nights at the ultra swanky Ojai Resort, including exclusive spa treatments and everything that came with it. We were in bliss without a worry on our minds.
Come Sunday evening and my return home wasn’t what I had expected. The house was empty upon my arrival and soon I noted that something wasn’t quite right. Hitting speed dial one on my cell, it rang to voicemail three times over. Worried, I called my dad who was as unaware to Vaughn’s whereabouts as I. Re-thinking, I quickly dialed Weiss’ number by heart. It answered on the third ring.
I was at the hospital fifteen minutes later. It turned out there had been an accident at the rink sometime around lunch and Vaughn had been injured. Call it hormonal but I was in frenzy at having not known all of this as soon as it happened. Arriving on the correct floor, I departed the elevator and followed the directions given to me on the phone. There I met Eric who quickly filled me in on the situation. There was no cause for immediate concern, all of the tests had come back fine indicating that aside from only a few stitches and severe concussion, Vaughn would be fine after a nights’ observation in hospital. However my anger boiled to new heights.
”Why the hell didn’t you call me?” I seethed, my heart thumping.
”Sorry Syd, I didn’t think tha-…
I cut him off, not particularly in the mood to hear excuses. ”No Eric, that’s right. You didn’t think. How could you have acted so immaturely? My god, I’m his wife…”
“And I’m his best friend!” he argued with me, our conversation hitting new heights.
”I had a right to know! What if there was something seriously wrong? Did you think of that hmm? No, that’s right, you didn’t think. You never think Eric! God what is wrong with you? Why can’t you just grow up! I snapped before storming off to find my husbands room.
“What happens now Syd? Do my wife and my best friend just not talk?” Vaughn asks.
“What do you want me to do Michael?” I ask exasperated with it all. I was perfectly content blocking this from my mind before he came in and trudged it all back up again.
“I want you to swallow your pride and admit when you were wrong and make it up.” I scoff in reply and walk out of the room and toward the staircase. “Syyyyd,” he whines hot on my heels.
“No Michael, no!” I tell him descending to the ground floor. “He should have called me, I’m your wife, and I needed to know.”
“Syd…”
“No Michael, don’t ‘Syd’ me,” I turn suddenly to face him and point in his direction. I start to feel emotional, my throat tightens and my chest feels numb. “I hate this!” I cry, unable to control my feelings.
He fumbles over what to do and I become a mumbling, sobbing wreck. “I’m your wife and you were hurt and I needed to know,” I wave my finger around gasping for breath.
Closing the gap between us, he opens his arms for me and I fall into them, my crying totally uncontrollable now. “I hate this stupid pregnancy!” I gasp. “Makes me into someone I’m not! I don’t cry like this, I’ve never cried like this!” I sob over and over while he tries to calm me. “And I don’t yell at people who’ve done nothing wrong!” he scoffs at this. “Okay, so maybe I do…” I admit, seeing the funny side in it. “Stupid hormones,” I say like a kid. “Just you wait, you’re gonna need an armor suit next to deal with me…”
“Is that a promise?” he asks.
I smack his chest. “You’re not supposed to agree with the crazy, irrational, vulnerable pregnant lady Vaughn!” I whine. I look up at him through misty eyes from my spot on his chest and ask him “Why do you put up with me?”
“Because you’re my wife, because I love you, because you’re having my baby. Come on Syd,” he wipes my eyes, “wipe those tears away. Everything is not as bad as it seems.” He kisses the tip of my nose.
“Four more weeks to go, do you think you can handle it?”
“You bet your pregnant ass I can,” he promises.
~*~*~
We’re both in bed later that night, or rather, by the looks of it, very early the next morning, separated by the mounds of pillows surrounding me. My peaceful, deep slumber is interrupted when I suddenly am awoken by some noises at the front door. Shooting up in bed I try not to overreact just yet until I can get my bearings through my sleep induced haze. However there is definitely something or rather, someone fiddling with our front door.
Quickly, I lean over to Vaughn and shake him awake. “Vaughn, Vaughn!” he doesn’t stir at my insistent badgering. “Michael!” I whisper, loudly.
“Wha-what?” he mumbles, rolling over and rubbing his eyes. “Syyyd?”
“Vaughn, there is someone at the front door!”
“Syd, go back to sleep, it’s probably just one of the neighborhood cats,” he tries to tell me but I have none of it.
Grabbing his shoulder I stop him from rolling back over. “No, Michael! Listen!”
He sits up lethargically and I’m quiet, the shuffling around the front entrance becoming more clumsy. Suddenly someone is playing with the door handle trying to gain entry.
“Shit,” he mutters, jumping out of bed and grabbing something I can’t see in the darkness from the drawer beside the bed. I hear the clank of metal and my heart freezes.
“Vaughn?” I ask fearfully, staring at him.
“Syd, stay here,” he orders, heading for the door.
“No way,” I tell him, getting out of bed and following albeit a little slower and a little more wobbly than I was once used to. “I can still kick your ass seven ways from Sunday, I’m not staying behind.”
He groans and whispers. “Fine, but you stay behind me.”
Downstairs, we reach the front door and Vaughn places his right index finger over his lips and our eyes meet, scaring me a little that we’re performing operations training in our own home. His finger goes from his lips to indicate three, then one goes down to make two, another down to make one…
“Miiiiiiikey,” I slurry voice on the other side of the door yells out, stopping us both in our tracks. My husbands brown creases in confusion until we both realize who it is. I mutter in disapproval and back off as he lowers his gun and swings the door. I put one hand on my hip and lean the other against the railing as I wait to see what is going to play out.
My husband’s best friend stumbles in and practically falls into Vaughn’s arms before breaking into laughter. I am less than enthused by this interruption during one of the better sleeps I’ve had in a while.
“What took you so long maaaaaaan?”
“Michael,” I warn, noticing my anger. He shakes his head in reply, and sends me an apologetic look as he struggles to get his friend upright.
“See, this is what I’m talking about!” I yell, indicating the mess in front of us.
“Just shut up Syyyyyd,” Eric blurts out. “This is your entire fault anyway. Kelley never had a problem before…”
I blink in confusion as to what is, or what has rather, happened tonight. “Okay, buddy it’s okay… Syd, just go back upstairs, I got this,” Vaughn instructs, beginning to lead Eric out of the foyer and towards the back of the house. I am left, standing in the dark empty foyer at a loss for what has happened.
About twenty minutes later when I just get myself settled back into bed, Vaughn tip toes back into the room.
“I’m awake,” I tell him.
He slides onto the bed, laying on his front and leans next to me. “I’m sorry,” he says, resting his head next to me. I lift one hand and rest it atop his head, running my hands through his locks.
“What’s going on?” I ask, genuinely concerned.
He sighs. “Kelley broke up with him.”
“Because of me,” I point out.
“Apparently, he took whatever you said to him to heart. Went over to her apartment, told her something about how he was immature, and immature people weren’t ever in serious relationships, which was good for them since they weren’t in one,” he says.
I clench my eyes closed and rub my forehead. “Shit.”
“What’d you say to him Syd?”
“I sort of, maybe, in a way accused him of not being mature and never taking anything seriously. Crap, this is all my fault isn’t it?”
He doesn’t reply, instead raises his eyebrow toward me.
“I’ll go talk to him,” I comment, pushing the blankets back again, and starting to get up. Vaughn stops me before I even have a chance.
“No, not tonight. Let him get it all out of his system before you get on the scene.” He repeats my steps of just seconds ago and gets up and off the bed, moving for the door.
“What are you doing?” I ask, confused. I thought that Eric had already passed out and my husband was coming back to bed.
He bangs against the door frame with his hand and looks down the hall and back to me. “It’s this thing we do when we get caught up with girls and we can’t do anything about it. One gets drunk while the other either follows, or keeps them sane for the entire night. I owe him after two years of me being that,” he points downstairs. He smiles and walks off, leaving me alone for what looks like the rest of the night.
It doesn’t sink in about what he is talking about until he’s half way down the stairs. Then the light bulb inside my head flicks on.
I was Vaughn’s girl for two years.
~*~*~
The following morning, I am up and out of the house before the sun rises and certainly before my husband and his best friend have woken from what I’m sure is an alcohol-induced sleep. I was barely able to sleep after Vaughn’s admission and it led me to think over my actions towards Eric over the weekend. In the early hours of this morning, with Cookie curled up in the empty space next to me abandoned by my husband, I overanalyzed everything I had accused him of and successfully worked myself into a pit of guilt. I knew that the only way of making right what I had wronged, there was one place, one person I needed to confront. Once that hurdle was crossed, I knew I would have to crawl back to my husband’s best friend, my baby’s future godfather and beg, plead if I have to for forgiveness. I only have to hope that it is not too late.
With that one hurdle crossed I’m pulling back into the driveway of our home, slide out of the car and waddle my way towards the house. Vaughn’s car is already gone, something I am thankful for since I’d rather face Eric without him hovering down the hall. I leave the door part of the way open when I enter the house and notice Eric sitting on the couch in the formal lounge area tying his shoe laces. When he hears my keys clink on the foyer table he turns his head in my direction.
“I’ll be out of your way in just a second,” he mumbles as he ties his second shoe.
“Eric…” I begin softly.
He grunts as he stands, taking a second to gather his footing and look for his wallet and cell phone. “Look, I’m sorry for ruining your sleep but please save me, I’m not in the mood for another fight with you; especially if it’s going to go the same way as the other day at the hospital.” His appearance is clearly ragged with dark circles surrounding his eyes and stubble littering his usually clear skin.
“That’s not what I’ve come to talk to you about,” I tell him, grabbing his brown leather wallet and cell off the bookshelf to my left. I walk toward him, gathering the courage to deliver the speech I’ve been rehearsing all morning.
Handing him his belongings, I sink into the caramel colored couch he just vacated and urge him to do the same. He follows a second after I and leans his elbows on his knees, rubbing his forehead.
“Look, Eric about Sunday I said some things that I shouldn’t have. Things that I didn’t mean and only said because I was angry and I was scared…” my words trail off and I shake my head, realizing that this is not what I wanted to say. “It’s just I needed someone to take all of that out on and you were the closest target. Not that I’m using that as an excuse, I just… I wanted to say that I’m sorry.”
I look up at him and he can’t even look at me. “Yeah, well, that’s too late now, I’ve lost the one person I ever thought about a future with,” he admits in barely a whisper.
“Weiss,” I lean forward and place a gentle hand on his arm. “What I said… about you not being grown up and taking anything seriously?” I shake my head, the fiery words from Sunday running through my head. “I was wrong, I was terribly wrong. You’re the one person I know my husband trusts with every thread of his existence. He said something last night that really confirmed that for me. I’d never realized it before but what you two have goes so much deeper than anyone realizes. And you, on the outside you’re a big cuddly bear,” I’m teary now and even earn a half smile from him. “…but you have the biggest heart, more love to give than anyone I’ve ever met.
“I know that this doesn’t even begin to show you how much I regret what I did but I will do anything to earn your friendship back. All I ask from you is to at least let me try?”
He is silent for a long while and I begin to wonder if everything I said was in vain but he does respond, turning his head toward me. “Yeah well, just make sure that niece of mine stays healthy and always remembers who her Uncle Eric is.”
I lurch forward and cling to him with speed and force I didn’t think I possess any more. I sniffle away the tears as his arms wrap around me. “Kell and I,” he pulls back and shakes his head. “We broke up… I think. I don’t know what I was thinking when I went over there. I don’t think I could possibly have been a bigger ass if I tried.”
“Uh, about Kelley?”
“It doesn’t matter Syd. I was fooling myself if I ever thought someone as beautiful and intelligent as her would stick around me. God, I actually thought I was falling in love with her.”
“Eric, you shouldn’t cut yourself short. And who knows, maybe it’s not as bad as you think it is,” I raise my eyebrow. Clearing my throat, I lock my eyes with his and guide them toward the hallway. The brown haired beauty, Eric’s not-so-former girlfriend that I groveled to and brought here this morning steps inside the house and I smile victoriously. Eric’s jaw is hanging somewhere below his knees as she stands there unsure of how to react.
“I’m going to give you two some time alone,” I comment as I force myself off the couch and upstairs to my bedroom, giving them some space to figure out their differences. I head upstairs ready to hop back into bed but first pull my cell out of my bag. I hit speed dial one as I maneuver my body pillow around my huge belly.
He answers after the second ring, “Good morning beautiful.”
“I just called to tell you that I love you…” I gush. I can hear him smile on the other end as I close my eyes ready to fall into a peaceful slumber.
TBC
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: No, I don't own it, I'm just borrowing them for a little fun. Alias and all the characters belong to Touchstone, ABC and the talented JJ. Abrams.
Timeline: To fit in with future storylines, I have changed the time of when SD-6 was brought down. Sydney is now four months pregnant and this fic begins in early November.
Summary: Sequel to No Regrets. Trying to make normal.
Chapter 36
Sydney POV
Standing against the doorframe with one hand on the brass handle and the other resting on my side I watch the steady rise and fall of his chest needing to be sure that he is resting comfortably. I quietly step backwards and pull the door so it is almost closed. Padding slowly I end up in the nursery, step inside and find myself lost in the room that is slowly coming together. I walk over to the window and close it and as I do so, look down into the backyard and see Cookie digging yet another hole. I inwardly cringe. The slightly overgrown, but still perfectly manicured gardens we had when we moved in have slowly been pruned and excavated by my rambunctious six month old puppy.
Needing a rest, (I can’t do anything these days without needing one!) I decide to think about what I need to be doing while I rock in the chair we’ve moved into the room. I ease myself down and revel in the fact that I am actually comfortable there - a rarity now days. I scan my eyes around the room and know that I should be getting things together while I have the time but I rest my head back and am completely content even with everything that’s happened this past weekend still fresh on my thoughts. As I start rocking back and forth trying to rid myself of those things my mind surprises me, sweeping me away to another time and place.
I start to wonder about what would have happened if I never told Danny the truth. Would we still be engaged? Would we be married? Would he be the one sleeping in the next room and not Vaughn? Would he still even be alive? It makes you wonder. Then there are all the other things that would have come into play had I not told him that fateful day in the shower. Would SD-6 still be around? Would Sloane still be torturing me slowly and painfully day by day?
I look down at the simple band resting on that finger now and realize about how different it all could have been. Twirling it around my fingers I have a hard time flicking those thoughts away but it’s hard not to think about it, especially given everything that has unfolded since that lazy Saturday afternoon. I never thought, laying there on that couch with him talking to my then flat toned stomach, about what would play out once those fateful words slipped through my lips and reached his ears.
”I work for the CIA”, I told him seriously. His face told me he wasn’t taking me seriously. When I confirmed it though, it stiffened, unsure, fearful. Then he broke. I always knew the consequences of letting my secret out. It haunted me everyday, but I had to do it, I couldn’t hide it anymore.
Months passed on after the night I found him in the bathtub, the days went slower than ever, filled with anguish and regret from my actions. Then one day, out of nowhere and certainly when I was least expecting it, he walked through a door, so sure of himself, sure that he held the upper hand over me.
”Well, this could be very interesting,” he commented, beginning the conversation. I was such a bitch to him. I remember thinking that he was the typically arrogant suit type, ready to say and do anything to get ahead. That he wouldn’t have known anything about my line of work if his life depended on it.
All of that changed, and as the dragging days began to speed up, I let myself open a tiny window ready to let him in. I lost Danny, but I realize that in losing Danny I was sent on a journey to my now husband. I’d like to think that Danny sent him to me, my guardian angel always ready to protect.
Shaking my head and blinking my eyes tightly a couple of times I bring myself back to the present and take note of the flurry of late afternoon sunlight spilling in through the light curtains. The room is illuminated in a soft golden glow and mixes brilliantly with the walls that are painted in the same tones. Looking over to my right I follow the border of giraffes that my father and Vaughn put up and giggle when I notice that it’s a little crooked towards the door. I hadn’t noticed it upon earlier inspection.
“You’re not going to take any notice of that, are you baby?” I coo, rubbing my huge belly. “Your dad and Grandpa worked so hard, we’re not going to tease them.” I leave the room and head downstairs, grabbing a few bags that we’ve kept stored in the office until we were ready to ‘move in’ and take them back up there. Since the painting was finished, we’ve installed a few shelves around the place and hung a few pictures matching the giraffe theme on the walls, filling in some space. I haven’t wanted to put up too many, knowing that in the months to come there will be plenty of pictures available to fill that void.
Dumping the contents of the bags in a heap atop of the change table to the right of the room I set to work planning where things should go and putting the things away appropriately. I meticulously fold the tiny clothing items we’ve bought and fill two drawers in the dresser in no time. I suddenly realize that I may have gone a little overboard with my purchases, especially considering we don’t know the sex.
“Your momma is having way too much fun planning for you little one,” I say, petting my belly and tidying up the rubbish I’ve created. I take another few trips downstairs, bringing things up with me each time and repeating the same steps as the first and soon all of the bags are cleared from the ground floor and their contents neatly put away where they belong. I’m putting the last of the stuffed animals on the shelf next to the window when I hear someone behind me clear their throat.
Whipping around, I see my husband standing by the door frame watching me. “You’re doing it again,” he tells me casually, waltzing toward me. I brush him a look of disapproval at him being up.
“Doing what?” I ask as if I don’t know.
“Talking to her like she’s right here.”
I stare at him pointedly, with a well duh expression.
“It’s cute,” he wraps his arms around me from behind, resting his fingers on my belly and rubbing his hands all over me. His breath is hot on my neck as he speaks. “You run a whole conversation with her, you’ve been doing it for the past half hour and you haven’t even noticed.”
I turn around and fall into his embrace. “You’re supposed to be in bed, what are you doing up?” He shrugs me off without answering and I look up into his eyes and run my hand along his jaw line to around to the back of his head where the bandages cover the stitches along his temple and into his hair.
“Syd, it wasn’t that bad, you overreacted just a little, don’t you think?”
“No Michael, I don’t think I overreacted just a little. You smashed your head on ice so hard that you split the side of your skull open, passed out for a half an hour and landed yourself in hospital overnight with a severe concussion.”
“Okay, fine. But seriously, Syd it’s nothing I haven’t had before,” I send him an expression noting my disagreement and he ignores me. Watching me as I continue with my previous task in the room we continue steady conversation.
“What about Eric?” he blurts out.
“What about Eric?” I snap back, not ready to have this conversation. He lets out a frustrated sigh.
Let me explain from the beginning. Friday afternoon Francie and I left for Ojai to spend a relaxing weekend just the two of us in a world renowned resort and spa.
I’m going to call as soon as we check in,” I said to Vaughn, nuzzling my face towards him and taking in the last seconds we had together before I left. My best friend was beside me mimicking the same actions as I with her boyfriend. We were outside of the house, my new car gassed up, bags packed ready to leave for our two day getaway.
”Go, have a great time down there, RELAX,” he reminded me, pushing me away and stepping over to my car and opening the door for me.
His best friend was also there for our farewell and then piped in. ”Don’t worry about him, or me for that matter. I’m going to look after him for you. He’ll be in the same condition come Sunday evening as he is right now,” he prided himself like a goofball. I couldn’t help but laugh as I approached him and gave him a hug.
Pulling back I looked him square in the eye. ”I’m gonna hold you to that Eric Weiss.
I climbed into the car and readied for us to leave. Francie joined me a second later, giddy and ready for us to be gone. Sliding down the electric windows I was embarking on my first long distance trip in my car, the first away from my husband.
“We’ll be fine Syd. I did look after myself before you were around y’know. We’re going to have a blast while you’re gone and I want you to, too, he winked at me.
Seconds later we were pulling out of the driveway and on our way. If only I could have truly trusted the words of Eric Weiss.
The weekend went by at lightening speed, Francie and I reaching new heights of ultimate relaxation. It was my treat to her, two nights at the ultra swanky Ojai Resort, including exclusive spa treatments and everything that came with it. We were in bliss without a worry on our minds.
Come Sunday evening and my return home wasn’t what I had expected. The house was empty upon my arrival and soon I noted that something wasn’t quite right. Hitting speed dial one on my cell, it rang to voicemail three times over. Worried, I called my dad who was as unaware to Vaughn’s whereabouts as I. Re-thinking, I quickly dialed Weiss’ number by heart. It answered on the third ring.
I was at the hospital fifteen minutes later. It turned out there had been an accident at the rink sometime around lunch and Vaughn had been injured. Call it hormonal but I was in frenzy at having not known all of this as soon as it happened. Arriving on the correct floor, I departed the elevator and followed the directions given to me on the phone. There I met Eric who quickly filled me in on the situation. There was no cause for immediate concern, all of the tests had come back fine indicating that aside from only a few stitches and severe concussion, Vaughn would be fine after a nights’ observation in hospital. However my anger boiled to new heights.
”Why the hell didn’t you call me?” I seethed, my heart thumping.
”Sorry Syd, I didn’t think tha-…
I cut him off, not particularly in the mood to hear excuses. ”No Eric, that’s right. You didn’t think. How could you have acted so immaturely? My god, I’m his wife…”
“And I’m his best friend!” he argued with me, our conversation hitting new heights.
”I had a right to know! What if there was something seriously wrong? Did you think of that hmm? No, that’s right, you didn’t think. You never think Eric! God what is wrong with you? Why can’t you just grow up! I snapped before storming off to find my husbands room.
“What happens now Syd? Do my wife and my best friend just not talk?” Vaughn asks.
“What do you want me to do Michael?” I ask exasperated with it all. I was perfectly content blocking this from my mind before he came in and trudged it all back up again.
“I want you to swallow your pride and admit when you were wrong and make it up.” I scoff in reply and walk out of the room and toward the staircase. “Syyyyd,” he whines hot on my heels.
“No Michael, no!” I tell him descending to the ground floor. “He should have called me, I’m your wife, and I needed to know.”
“Syd…”
“No Michael, don’t ‘Syd’ me,” I turn suddenly to face him and point in his direction. I start to feel emotional, my throat tightens and my chest feels numb. “I hate this!” I cry, unable to control my feelings.
He fumbles over what to do and I become a mumbling, sobbing wreck. “I’m your wife and you were hurt and I needed to know,” I wave my finger around gasping for breath.
Closing the gap between us, he opens his arms for me and I fall into them, my crying totally uncontrollable now. “I hate this stupid pregnancy!” I gasp. “Makes me into someone I’m not! I don’t cry like this, I’ve never cried like this!” I sob over and over while he tries to calm me. “And I don’t yell at people who’ve done nothing wrong!” he scoffs at this. “Okay, so maybe I do…” I admit, seeing the funny side in it. “Stupid hormones,” I say like a kid. “Just you wait, you’re gonna need an armor suit next to deal with me…”
“Is that a promise?” he asks.
I smack his chest. “You’re not supposed to agree with the crazy, irrational, vulnerable pregnant lady Vaughn!” I whine. I look up at him through misty eyes from my spot on his chest and ask him “Why do you put up with me?”
“Because you’re my wife, because I love you, because you’re having my baby. Come on Syd,” he wipes my eyes, “wipe those tears away. Everything is not as bad as it seems.” He kisses the tip of my nose.
“Four more weeks to go, do you think you can handle it?”
“You bet your pregnant ass I can,” he promises.
~*~*~
We’re both in bed later that night, or rather, by the looks of it, very early the next morning, separated by the mounds of pillows surrounding me. My peaceful, deep slumber is interrupted when I suddenly am awoken by some noises at the front door. Shooting up in bed I try not to overreact just yet until I can get my bearings through my sleep induced haze. However there is definitely something or rather, someone fiddling with our front door.
Quickly, I lean over to Vaughn and shake him awake. “Vaughn, Vaughn!” he doesn’t stir at my insistent badgering. “Michael!” I whisper, loudly.
“Wha-what?” he mumbles, rolling over and rubbing his eyes. “Syyyd?”
“Vaughn, there is someone at the front door!”
“Syd, go back to sleep, it’s probably just one of the neighborhood cats,” he tries to tell me but I have none of it.
Grabbing his shoulder I stop him from rolling back over. “No, Michael! Listen!”
He sits up lethargically and I’m quiet, the shuffling around the front entrance becoming more clumsy. Suddenly someone is playing with the door handle trying to gain entry.
“Shit,” he mutters, jumping out of bed and grabbing something I can’t see in the darkness from the drawer beside the bed. I hear the clank of metal and my heart freezes.
“Vaughn?” I ask fearfully, staring at him.
“Syd, stay here,” he orders, heading for the door.
“No way,” I tell him, getting out of bed and following albeit a little slower and a little more wobbly than I was once used to. “I can still kick your ass seven ways from Sunday, I’m not staying behind.”
He groans and whispers. “Fine, but you stay behind me.”
Downstairs, we reach the front door and Vaughn places his right index finger over his lips and our eyes meet, scaring me a little that we’re performing operations training in our own home. His finger goes from his lips to indicate three, then one goes down to make two, another down to make one…
“Miiiiiiikey,” I slurry voice on the other side of the door yells out, stopping us both in our tracks. My husbands brown creases in confusion until we both realize who it is. I mutter in disapproval and back off as he lowers his gun and swings the door. I put one hand on my hip and lean the other against the railing as I wait to see what is going to play out.
My husband’s best friend stumbles in and practically falls into Vaughn’s arms before breaking into laughter. I am less than enthused by this interruption during one of the better sleeps I’ve had in a while.
“What took you so long maaaaaaan?”
“Michael,” I warn, noticing my anger. He shakes his head in reply, and sends me an apologetic look as he struggles to get his friend upright.
“See, this is what I’m talking about!” I yell, indicating the mess in front of us.
“Just shut up Syyyyyd,” Eric blurts out. “This is your entire fault anyway. Kelley never had a problem before…”
I blink in confusion as to what is, or what has rather, happened tonight. “Okay, buddy it’s okay… Syd, just go back upstairs, I got this,” Vaughn instructs, beginning to lead Eric out of the foyer and towards the back of the house. I am left, standing in the dark empty foyer at a loss for what has happened.
About twenty minutes later when I just get myself settled back into bed, Vaughn tip toes back into the room.
“I’m awake,” I tell him.
He slides onto the bed, laying on his front and leans next to me. “I’m sorry,” he says, resting his head next to me. I lift one hand and rest it atop his head, running my hands through his locks.
“What’s going on?” I ask, genuinely concerned.
He sighs. “Kelley broke up with him.”
“Because of me,” I point out.
“Apparently, he took whatever you said to him to heart. Went over to her apartment, told her something about how he was immature, and immature people weren’t ever in serious relationships, which was good for them since they weren’t in one,” he says.
I clench my eyes closed and rub my forehead. “Shit.”
“What’d you say to him Syd?”
“I sort of, maybe, in a way accused him of not being mature and never taking anything seriously. Crap, this is all my fault isn’t it?”
He doesn’t reply, instead raises his eyebrow toward me.
“I’ll go talk to him,” I comment, pushing the blankets back again, and starting to get up. Vaughn stops me before I even have a chance.
“No, not tonight. Let him get it all out of his system before you get on the scene.” He repeats my steps of just seconds ago and gets up and off the bed, moving for the door.
“What are you doing?” I ask, confused. I thought that Eric had already passed out and my husband was coming back to bed.
He bangs against the door frame with his hand and looks down the hall and back to me. “It’s this thing we do when we get caught up with girls and we can’t do anything about it. One gets drunk while the other either follows, or keeps them sane for the entire night. I owe him after two years of me being that,” he points downstairs. He smiles and walks off, leaving me alone for what looks like the rest of the night.
It doesn’t sink in about what he is talking about until he’s half way down the stairs. Then the light bulb inside my head flicks on.
I was Vaughn’s girl for two years.
~*~*~
The following morning, I am up and out of the house before the sun rises and certainly before my husband and his best friend have woken from what I’m sure is an alcohol-induced sleep. I was barely able to sleep after Vaughn’s admission and it led me to think over my actions towards Eric over the weekend. In the early hours of this morning, with Cookie curled up in the empty space next to me abandoned by my husband, I overanalyzed everything I had accused him of and successfully worked myself into a pit of guilt. I knew that the only way of making right what I had wronged, there was one place, one person I needed to confront. Once that hurdle was crossed, I knew I would have to crawl back to my husband’s best friend, my baby’s future godfather and beg, plead if I have to for forgiveness. I only have to hope that it is not too late.
With that one hurdle crossed I’m pulling back into the driveway of our home, slide out of the car and waddle my way towards the house. Vaughn’s car is already gone, something I am thankful for since I’d rather face Eric without him hovering down the hall. I leave the door part of the way open when I enter the house and notice Eric sitting on the couch in the formal lounge area tying his shoe laces. When he hears my keys clink on the foyer table he turns his head in my direction.
“I’ll be out of your way in just a second,” he mumbles as he ties his second shoe.
“Eric…” I begin softly.
He grunts as he stands, taking a second to gather his footing and look for his wallet and cell phone. “Look, I’m sorry for ruining your sleep but please save me, I’m not in the mood for another fight with you; especially if it’s going to go the same way as the other day at the hospital.” His appearance is clearly ragged with dark circles surrounding his eyes and stubble littering his usually clear skin.
“That’s not what I’ve come to talk to you about,” I tell him, grabbing his brown leather wallet and cell off the bookshelf to my left. I walk toward him, gathering the courage to deliver the speech I’ve been rehearsing all morning.
Handing him his belongings, I sink into the caramel colored couch he just vacated and urge him to do the same. He follows a second after I and leans his elbows on his knees, rubbing his forehead.
“Look, Eric about Sunday I said some things that I shouldn’t have. Things that I didn’t mean and only said because I was angry and I was scared…” my words trail off and I shake my head, realizing that this is not what I wanted to say. “It’s just I needed someone to take all of that out on and you were the closest target. Not that I’m using that as an excuse, I just… I wanted to say that I’m sorry.”
I look up at him and he can’t even look at me. “Yeah, well, that’s too late now, I’ve lost the one person I ever thought about a future with,” he admits in barely a whisper.
“Weiss,” I lean forward and place a gentle hand on his arm. “What I said… about you not being grown up and taking anything seriously?” I shake my head, the fiery words from Sunday running through my head. “I was wrong, I was terribly wrong. You’re the one person I know my husband trusts with every thread of his existence. He said something last night that really confirmed that for me. I’d never realized it before but what you two have goes so much deeper than anyone realizes. And you, on the outside you’re a big cuddly bear,” I’m teary now and even earn a half smile from him. “…but you have the biggest heart, more love to give than anyone I’ve ever met.
“I know that this doesn’t even begin to show you how much I regret what I did but I will do anything to earn your friendship back. All I ask from you is to at least let me try?”
He is silent for a long while and I begin to wonder if everything I said was in vain but he does respond, turning his head toward me. “Yeah well, just make sure that niece of mine stays healthy and always remembers who her Uncle Eric is.”
I lurch forward and cling to him with speed and force I didn’t think I possess any more. I sniffle away the tears as his arms wrap around me. “Kell and I,” he pulls back and shakes his head. “We broke up… I think. I don’t know what I was thinking when I went over there. I don’t think I could possibly have been a bigger ass if I tried.”
“Uh, about Kelley?”
“It doesn’t matter Syd. I was fooling myself if I ever thought someone as beautiful and intelligent as her would stick around me. God, I actually thought I was falling in love with her.”
“Eric, you shouldn’t cut yourself short. And who knows, maybe it’s not as bad as you think it is,” I raise my eyebrow. Clearing my throat, I lock my eyes with his and guide them toward the hallway. The brown haired beauty, Eric’s not-so-former girlfriend that I groveled to and brought here this morning steps inside the house and I smile victoriously. Eric’s jaw is hanging somewhere below his knees as she stands there unsure of how to react.
“I’m going to give you two some time alone,” I comment as I force myself off the couch and upstairs to my bedroom, giving them some space to figure out their differences. I head upstairs ready to hop back into bed but first pull my cell out of my bag. I hit speed dial one as I maneuver my body pillow around my huge belly.
He answers after the second ring, “Good morning beautiful.”
“I just called to tell you that I love you…” I gush. I can hear him smile on the other end as I close my eyes ready to fall into a peaceful slumber.
TBC