postpartum
Postpartum has been hard for me. I'm really not sure why, and I wasn't expecting most of this. I didn't really think about post-pregnancy. I think I just thought I'd have a baby and then everything would go back to "normal" physically - that I'd be able to tie my shoes again, and get dressed without needing help, that I'd be able to walk and not waddle. Sure, I figured I'd still have some of the weight, but I also figured that my face would clear up (it broke out horribly in my third trimester) right away (like all the books said it would) and that I'd be able to function again. I completely spaced the whole episiotomy healing thing. I also didn't really think about how truly traumatic giving birth is on the human body. I don't know why, I just didn't.
I lost 30 pounds the first week. I have 12 pounds to go until I'm at my pre-pregnancy weight, and another 10 pounds to go to get to the weight I maintained the whole time I was on birth control. I'm not so concerned about the last 10 pounds, and truly, I think the 12 pounds will come off after I finish nursing, because I won't need to be taking in so many extra calories per day. So, that's been a struggle. I was hoping to lose all of it right away. "Nursing makes you lose weight," they say. And for some it does. But they don't really say, "for some it doesn't though." I'm wearing the belly bandita thing and that's really helping, but it doesn't change the fact that I can't get into any of my pre-pregnancy jeans or skirts. My butt and thighs are super-sized now. lol That just sounded funny.
My face hasn't cleared. I finally had to go to a dermatologist. They were able to prescribe 3 different medicines. It's much better than it was, but it's still not great. That's been hard. People at work comment - which is just rude, but it is what it is. This one lady in particular (who happens to be one of my managers) says that I look like I just hit puberty - almost daily. It's hard.
It took 11 weeks for me to recover - and I didn't anticipate that. I know it could have been worse, and I'm grateful I was able to deliver naturally. Oh, and I didn't know that the breast-feeding thing would hurt so much either. But it was all totally worth it. I don't regret that the epidural almost completely wore off for her dropping from -2 to 5 in an hour, while simultaneously going from 8-10 and then delivering without any relief. I'll be glad to do it slightly differently next time, but I'm glad I experienced a mostly natural childbirth.
Finally, I'm just feeling angry. I don't really know why, or over what. Tonight was kind of the breaking point. I'm going to be going to a doctor this week to talk about postpartum depression. That's really hard for me. I don't like admitting I need help. But I don't know what else to do.
Prayers are appreciated. For the record, I don't regret my baby in any way, shape or form. I am just struggling, and I guess it's time to seek help.
I lost 30 pounds the first week. I have 12 pounds to go until I'm at my pre-pregnancy weight, and another 10 pounds to go to get to the weight I maintained the whole time I was on birth control. I'm not so concerned about the last 10 pounds, and truly, I think the 12 pounds will come off after I finish nursing, because I won't need to be taking in so many extra calories per day. So, that's been a struggle. I was hoping to lose all of it right away. "Nursing makes you lose weight," they say. And for some it does. But they don't really say, "for some it doesn't though." I'm wearing the belly bandita thing and that's really helping, but it doesn't change the fact that I can't get into any of my pre-pregnancy jeans or skirts. My butt and thighs are super-sized now. lol That just sounded funny.
My face hasn't cleared. I finally had to go to a dermatologist. They were able to prescribe 3 different medicines. It's much better than it was, but it's still not great. That's been hard. People at work comment - which is just rude, but it is what it is. This one lady in particular (who happens to be one of my managers) says that I look like I just hit puberty - almost daily. It's hard.
It took 11 weeks for me to recover - and I didn't anticipate that. I know it could have been worse, and I'm grateful I was able to deliver naturally. Oh, and I didn't know that the breast-feeding thing would hurt so much either. But it was all totally worth it. I don't regret that the epidural almost completely wore off for her dropping from -2 to 5 in an hour, while simultaneously going from 8-10 and then delivering without any relief. I'll be glad to do it slightly differently next time, but I'm glad I experienced a mostly natural childbirth.
Finally, I'm just feeling angry. I don't really know why, or over what. Tonight was kind of the breaking point. I'm going to be going to a doctor this week to talk about postpartum depression. That's really hard for me. I don't like admitting I need help. But I don't know what else to do.
Prayers are appreciated. For the record, I don't regret my baby in any way, shape or form. I am just struggling, and I guess it's time to seek help.