The War of Liberal Media Agression
Oh, the wonderous things you find randomly surfing the web at 1 in the morning when you have insomnia.
Like this "article" from Wikipedia parody site Uncyclopedia, Second Civil War:
The second American Civil War was fought in the early 21st century between the sex craved secularist liberals and the God toting gun fearing redneck Religious right. The war started in 2002 when George W. Bush blamed the Liberal media for an assassination attempt by devious pretzel placement. Bush revealed to congress that not only did the pretzel try to kill him; its attempt to penetrate his throat was clearly homosexual in nature. Bruised but not beaten, Bush immediately declared war on the Democratic Party (the media) for their treason against Jesus and all that is good.
Major Confrontations:
* The Return Of Jesus Christ
* Wardrobe malfunction vs. Fox News
* Spearso-Madonian Kiss of Doom
* The Battle of Queer Run
Heeeee. Okay, if you grew up in Virginia, where you can't walk 3 feet in any direction without tripping over a Civil War battlefield or monument, that's particularly funny. Do you have any idea how many field trips to Bull Run I've been dragged to over the years? ::cries:: And remember, I'm the one who loves history... but at some point I totally burned out on the Civil War. Note to Virginia public schools: our side lost, get over it, let's study Jamestown or Williamsburg instead, mmmkay?
Speaking of Red States... Bravo is doing this weird new clip show retrospective, in the mold of "50 Greatest Superheroes" or Vh1's "I Love the 80's", called "Great Things About Being...". It's supposed to be very tongue-in-cheek and attitudinal, and kinda fake-empowering. Like, tonight's topic was "Great Things About Being Fat", and later in the week it's going to be "Being Over 30", "Being Queer", etc etc. Excuse me while I roll my eyes into the back of my head. But the best one is going to be "Great Things about Being in a Red State". Gah! Oh, Bravo, HONEY. Who are you trying to fool?!? Everyone knows Bravo is the least Red State network on television. It's the home of Queer Eye and round-the-clock West Wing reruns... you really can't get more Blue State than that.
Besides, I live in a Red State, and I can tell you with authority there ain't too many Great Things about it.
Like this "article" from Wikipedia parody site Uncyclopedia, Second Civil War:
The second American Civil War was fought in the early 21st century between the sex craved secularist liberals and the God toting gun fearing redneck Religious right. The war started in 2002 when George W. Bush blamed the Liberal media for an assassination attempt by devious pretzel placement. Bush revealed to congress that not only did the pretzel try to kill him; its attempt to penetrate his throat was clearly homosexual in nature. Bruised but not beaten, Bush immediately declared war on the Democratic Party (the media) for their treason against Jesus and all that is good.
Major Confrontations:
* The Return Of Jesus Christ
* Wardrobe malfunction vs. Fox News
* Spearso-Madonian Kiss of Doom
* The Battle of Queer Run
Heeeee. Okay, if you grew up in Virginia, where you can't walk 3 feet in any direction without tripping over a Civil War battlefield or monument, that's particularly funny. Do you have any idea how many field trips to Bull Run I've been dragged to over the years? ::cries:: And remember, I'm the one who loves history... but at some point I totally burned out on the Civil War. Note to Virginia public schools: our side lost, get over it, let's study Jamestown or Williamsburg instead, mmmkay?
Speaking of Red States... Bravo is doing this weird new clip show retrospective, in the mold of "50 Greatest Superheroes" or Vh1's "I Love the 80's", called "Great Things About Being...". It's supposed to be very tongue-in-cheek and attitudinal, and kinda fake-empowering. Like, tonight's topic was "Great Things About Being Fat", and later in the week it's going to be "Being Over 30", "Being Queer", etc etc. Excuse me while I roll my eyes into the back of my head. But the best one is going to be "Great Things about Being in a Red State". Gah! Oh, Bravo, HONEY. Who are you trying to fool?!? Everyone knows Bravo is the least Red State network on television. It's the home of Queer Eye and round-the-clock West Wing reruns... you really can't get more Blue State than that.
Besides, I live in a Red State, and I can tell you with authority there ain't too many Great Things about it.