(no subject)
Today was one of the first of 8 sessions im going to have for laser hair removal surgery. Native and my mother went with me. We purposely went 30 minutes earlier to purchase the prep cream (you have to apply it 40 mins in advance to your treatment), but when we walked in they told us to wait. We waited...and waited....and waited. Another gentlemen walked in, and they saw him immediately. It made me think that maybe they werent taking us seriously, one, because we were a group of darkies. Which alot of darkies cant go in there because the laser doesnt work well on darker skin. Two, maybe they thought we didnt have the money.
Whatever it was, he was seen and escorted in way before i was. Finally the nurse came to get me and my mom got up just as i did, they told her she couldnt come in due to policy purposes. But we had just seen a man escort his wife out of that very same area on his cell phone...so my mom brought that to their attention. She still wasnt allowed to go back. I started to get a bit pissed off, nonetheless i walked back. I told the nurse no one would pay any attention to me and that i hadnt even gotten the damn cream yet, but she wanted to still try the procedure without the cream.
I felt anxiety and embarrassment at the same time. Wanting to just turn around and walk out. I laid down and she placed an ice pack under my chin to numb the nerves (didnt work) and some sort of sunglasses. She was explaining all this nonsense in medical terms to confuse or to distract me and then the first zap rushed me like a rubber band sting to the most sensitive part of your body. I sort of jumped. People say..."I heard it doesnt hurt." Thats because they havent been through it. And those other white folks who are willing to go the distance to look as the media portrays they should look, or to beat the race of aging or whatever their reason may be. Are willing to take pain and whatever else it takes to beautify themselves. I got zapped 3 more times before i decided im a big sissy and i will have to reschedule for another time. I paid $25 for the fucking cream rescheduled for Monday, and im not sure i will even come back then.
The smell of rotting flesh and burned tires still filled my nose from under my face from the laser that was applied a few seconds earlier. And i thought to myself, it would be so much easier to just become a fucking bull dyke. I dont understand why women have to go through so much more effort and men dont have to do shit. This is bullshit. I cried in the elevator, i cried in the parking lot, cried in the car on the way home, cried when i got home...all this without saying a word. I didnt want to speak to anyone, just locked myself in my room. I dont know why i agreed to this shit. Well, i do...but now im beginning to wonder if its really worth it.
Whatever it was, he was seen and escorted in way before i was. Finally the nurse came to get me and my mom got up just as i did, they told her she couldnt come in due to policy purposes. But we had just seen a man escort his wife out of that very same area on his cell phone...so my mom brought that to their attention. She still wasnt allowed to go back. I started to get a bit pissed off, nonetheless i walked back. I told the nurse no one would pay any attention to me and that i hadnt even gotten the damn cream yet, but she wanted to still try the procedure without the cream.
I felt anxiety and embarrassment at the same time. Wanting to just turn around and walk out. I laid down and she placed an ice pack under my chin to numb the nerves (didnt work) and some sort of sunglasses. She was explaining all this nonsense in medical terms to confuse or to distract me and then the first zap rushed me like a rubber band sting to the most sensitive part of your body. I sort of jumped. People say..."I heard it doesnt hurt." Thats because they havent been through it. And those other white folks who are willing to go the distance to look as the media portrays they should look, or to beat the race of aging or whatever their reason may be. Are willing to take pain and whatever else it takes to beautify themselves. I got zapped 3 more times before i decided im a big sissy and i will have to reschedule for another time. I paid $25 for the fucking cream rescheduled for Monday, and im not sure i will even come back then.
The smell of rotting flesh and burned tires still filled my nose from under my face from the laser that was applied a few seconds earlier. And i thought to myself, it would be so much easier to just become a fucking bull dyke. I dont understand why women have to go through so much more effort and men dont have to do shit. This is bullshit. I cried in the elevator, i cried in the parking lot, cried in the car on the way home, cried when i got home...all this without saying a word. I didnt want to speak to anyone, just locked myself in my room. I dont know why i agreed to this shit. Well, i do...but now im beginning to wonder if its really worth it.